POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "That's Not Fair!"When I dabble at things.....
66 total reviews
Comment from bard owl
Ah, what comes to mind is a desparately lonely person trying to buy the affection of a prized "other". Excellent "suck up" contest entry. Best of luck to you. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Ah, what comes to mind is a desparately lonely person trying to buy the affection of a prized "other". Excellent "suck up" contest entry. Best of luck to you. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Linda...Desperate maybe..lonely, I don't think so...too many people pounding at my door. LOL Thanks for the review. Carol
Comment from LOA7
Brilliant, and so true. The first line can work spiritually as well as physically. Although, the physical part (sucking up) can take more work to achieve the result.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Brilliant, and so true. The first line can work spiritually as well as physically. Although, the physical part (sucking up) can take more work to achieve the result.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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LOAZ Never hurts to call in re-enforcements...I need all the help I can get. Thanks for the review. Carol
Comment from fictionwriter
Sounds like a man to me. No not the money just the sex. LOL. A wonderful little poem with a very few words that comes right to the point. well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Sounds like a man to me. No not the money just the sex. LOL. A wonderful little poem with a very few words that comes right to the point. well done.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Fictionwriter...Everything is said in jest,,,at least I hope it is. Thanks for the review. Carol
Comment from Adri7enne
Aw, you're covering all the bases, uh? Not fair at all. LOL. Someone's bound to take you up on that! Careful what you invite into your life, there, Sunshine! Good luck, ba.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Aw, you're covering all the bases, uh? Not fair at all. LOL. Someone's bound to take you up on that! Careful what you invite into your life, there, Sunshine! Good luck, ba.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Adri7enne
Couldn't have you getting all the love...now I just have to make sure they can't find me. Thanks for the review. Have a wonderful day! Carol
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Too right! Stay under cover, girl!
Comment from rama devi
Clever and humorous, as an "appropriate' entry for this contest. Bet Ray will love it. (and take you up on it too).
And bonus rhyming to boot.
Congrats - you can count to 13! :)
Best of luck.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Clever and humorous, as an "appropriate' entry for this contest. Bet Ray will love it. (and take you up on it too).
And bonus rhyming to boot.
Congrats - you can count to 13! :)
Best of luck.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Rama devi
Thanks for your review. Of course, this is totally out of character as my pen simply went crazy and forged the lines. Now I will have to remain in disguise until the heat blows over. Thanks for the kind review. Carol
Comment from Helen Tan
Ask! You shall receive,
I think I've heard these words before but in a different context! This line is clever as it could also refer to you , the writer asking for votes.
Money, sex, whatever you need.
This really sounds like an election campaign promise.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Ask! You shall receive,
I think I've heard these words before but in a different context! This line is clever as it could also refer to you , the writer asking for votes.
Money, sex, whatever you need.
This really sounds like an election campaign promise.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Helen... You are so right! And the promises seldom get fulfilled. Glad this is all said in jest. Thanks again - Carol
Comment from Reinin
haha very good. Made me smile. What a clever little rhyme.
This was quite insightful for so few words. I really enjoyed it. Ever thought of publishing a daily calendar with little rhymes like this... one for each day? thanks :)
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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haha very good. Made me smile. What a clever little rhyme.
This was quite insightful for so few words. I really enjoyed it. Ever thought of publishing a daily calendar with little rhymes like this... one for each day? thanks :)
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Reinin
Thank you for the review and your kind words. (Maybe a business on the side if this doesn't work out...lol.
Since you marked good - it needs work...What would you suggest changing to make it a five? Carol
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I suppose it is just a personal opinion. No matter how good i think a piece of writing is I struggle to give 5 stars for pieces that are so short. I understand that it was meant to be short to fulfill the requirements but to warrant a five star short pieces really need to make a lasting impact (that's how i feel at least). I don't have any suggestions on how to improve it as i think it is very good as it is.
I suppose you can liken it to reading a good book. You may not find anything structurally wrong with it, the words can be well written, the plot intriguing and the story worth the read. However it may just not strike you as being excellent.
Sorry i cant provide more help than that. Do contact me if you would like to chat about it... else i will see you around the site :)
Comment from Colette
You have me giggling again! This is a new twist on an old saying.
I love your sense of humour, Keep writing I am looking forward
to your next writing.
Colette
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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You have me giggling again! This is a new twist on an old saying.
I love your sense of humour, Keep writing I am looking forward
to your next writing.
Colette
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Colette...
Thank you so much. This was just a late night bit of jest.
Thanks for the smile and kind comments. Carol
Comment from Phil Kitom
Err now which one will I ask For
now here is a dilemma LOL
Well done this is an excellent
poem but oh what a picture
it paints. Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Err now which one will I ask For
now here is a dilemma LOL
Well done this is an excellent
poem but oh what a picture
it paints. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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Phil...I'll give you all the time in the world to decide...and then you must find me. By then, this old lady will have to admit , it was all said in jest. Thanks for the comments. Have a nice day. Carol
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You too Carol
Comment from BellaSpirit
LOL...Oh, you're so witty. I think you struck a gold mine here. Now if you only had room to offer eternal life...LOL... Great entry and very clever.
BellaSpirit
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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LOL...Oh, you're so witty. I think you struck a gold mine here. Now if you only had room to offer eternal life...LOL... Great entry and very clever.
BellaSpirit
Comment Written 23-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2009
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BellaSpirit.
Thank you for your kind and generous review. Appreciate it very much. Thanks again - Carol