Comment from serenityjs

Excellent

HEHE, I am not much for rhyming poetry but this one is awesome....I like the lines of subtle inward thought, they give the poem a character all its own..................love jen

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2008

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2008

thanks for your generous review. I am always hesitant to post any poetry because my skills are limited and rudimentary at best. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. ann

Comment from EllenV

Excellent

I enjoyed this clever fluffy poem!

"I do my best thinking when I'm drinking!" I agree, but for me it's hot apple cider in the morning and Fresca at night!

Thanks for a fun write.
Ellen

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2008

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2008

Thanks so much for your generous review and fun comments. I appreciate ann

Comment from Victoria...

Excellent

LOL. I like the way the line "I do my best thinking when I'm drinking" is used doubly. Well crafted and well done! Your rhyme is not forced and your meter flows smoothly for me.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2008

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2008

thanks so much for your generous review. My poetry skills are limited and rudimentary at best. I appreciate your encouraging comments. ann

Comment from Adam Smith

Excellent

Hey. Really cool, humorous poem. I like the rhyme scheme, but at first it seems like there isn't one. The first three lines are a stretch, even for near-rhyme, but the rest are terrific. "Fellow" and "pillow" didn't work for me. But these are my opinions and I really enjoyed the poem. At the risk of getting yelled at, I'd say it is really cute, or sassy, or even flirtatious. It's the best advertisement for wine I've seen in a long time!! Adam

Added Comment: Yes, I see the new rhymes. The opening really sets the tone and there's no hiccup. Again, just my opinion, but I do like this. Adam

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2008

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2008

No yelling from here. I am always hesitant to post poetry because my skills are limited and rudimentary at best. This little piece of fluff just hung around in my head until I wrote it down. Thanks for reading. ann

Comment from sueseagull

Excellent

well if it's fluff, it's very nice fluff! Very nicely written.the words and rhyme work beautifully together.Thank you for sharing it.I see no corrections needed.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2008

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2008

i appreciate your generous review and encouraging comments. thanks so much. ann

Comment from jshep

Excellent

A funny piece of fluff. Great one for us empty nesters. It was snappy, flowed well, liked the rhyming pattern, and the poem felt like it had been written from experience. Great job.

There were too many lines for me to tell you which one I liked best, pretty much all of them... Saw no spag, would not change a word.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2008

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2008

Thanks so much. I am always very hesitant to post any poetry because my skills are limited and crude. I appreciate your generous review and encouraging comments. ann

Comment from S.Yocom

Excellent

This is a cute little poem, Ann. I like the way you rhymed all the last lines of the stanzas and repeated the line, "I do my best thinking..." I found only one thing to correct. In the third line of the third stanza, you use the word "laying." It should be "lying." I used to tell my students, "In the present tense, only hens lay." I hope this helps.
Sally

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 Comment Written 08-Apr-2008

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2008

It does indeed help!!! thanks so very much. I am always so hesitant to post any poetry because my skills are limited! This just seemed fun. I appreciate your generous review and encouraging comments.

Comment from helives

Good

It definitely was a good background/font color for your subject - BUT the humor was not enough - in my opinion - but who am I - You are in the contest and I'm not -You are good
helives

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2008

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2008

I am always so hesitant to post any poetry because my skills in that area are limited and rudimentary. I appreciate any suggestions you might have to improve my verse. Thanks for reading. I'm not familiar with your work, but will check out your portfolio later today. ann