The Nights of Castle Fair
Multiple Tetractys: Recalling Childhood Summer48 total reviews
Comment from KalleeMerra
what a delightful tale! i can visualize the whole thing. too bad none of your parents never thought to hide in the cemetery and really give the kids something to remember!
kallee merra
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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what a delightful tale! i can visualize the whole thing. too bad none of your parents never thought to hide in the cemetery and really give the kids something to remember!
kallee merra
Comment Written 22-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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Oh kallee merra! Believe me, my mother scared "the you know what" out of us many times! But she never hid in the cemetery!!! Geesh! That would have been unbelievably horrifying!!! Take Care...diane
Comment from mmichelle97219
summer arrived.
Would read a litlle better if you inject the word has. It would keep with the tense of the previous statements had would also work.
That is the only nit I found that was blazingly obvious to me. there may be others, but I did not notice. I thought you did well in the combination of poems to crete one body of work. well done.
Michelle.
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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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summer arrived.
Would read a litlle better if you inject the word has. It would keep with the tense of the previous statements had would also work.
That is the only nit I found that was blazingly obvious to me. there may be others, but I did not notice. I thought you did well in the combination of poems to crete one body of work. well done.
Michelle.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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Michelle? - Thank you for stopping by. The verb tenses are all aok. Past as I am telling the tale, and present perfect in the last two verses when I am back in the present and reflecting on the meaning of the memory to me today. "There may be others?" This doesn't sound like you! It's a tetractys - so it had to follow the prescribed format. Take Care. I hope all is well...diane
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Maybe I am not myself today. i will take another look at it tomorrow and do a fresh review.
Michelle
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Just hope all is well...
diane
Comment from pasinger
Nicely done. We had such fun when we were young and so sad the young of today can't enjoy it like we did. The stuff memories are made of and friendships are forged, some lasting for a lifetime.
I really enjoyed this. Descriptive language alows the reader to take part in the memories and picture the scenes and emotions of the piece.
Well Done. Good read
pasinger
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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Nicely done. We had such fun when we were young and so sad the young of today can't enjoy it like we did. The stuff memories are made of and friendships are forged, some lasting for a lifetime.
I really enjoyed this. Descriptive language alows the reader to take part in the memories and picture the scenes and emotions of the piece.
Well Done. Good read
pasinger
Comment Written 22-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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Hello! So pleased you enjoyed my offering. Many wonderful treasured memories...diane
Comment from Broken Fingers
Hi
This was beautifully nostalgic, with insight of children's excitement and thrills. I like the way you echo Castle Fair with Summer's Fear. Great storytelling gift shines through this with the fireflies and flashlights, fairs and fierce battles, lot of "f"s come to think of it.
Well done as ever
Gavin
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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Hi
This was beautifully nostalgic, with insight of children's excitement and thrills. I like the way you echo Castle Fair with Summer's Fear. Great storytelling gift shines through this with the fireflies and flashlights, fairs and fierce battles, lot of "f"s come to think of it.
Well done as ever
Gavin
Comment Written 22-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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Oh Gavin..Hello! So pleased you enjoy my offerings! Those were such wonderful times. I truly had a Norman Rockwell childhood. When life gets me down at times, it helps to remember...Be well. diane
Comment from G-mom
This took me back to the old days, fun days. You used great desciptions that all could enjoy, from the grown-up to the child, listening as this beautiful poem is read.
You brought the picture into my mind, I could see the forts and the flashlights on the faces.
Nicely written, it's hard to be both the adult writer and the child. Well maybe not hard, as I am just a big ole kid myself, but to make the reader understand both, to feel both, to live both.
Also, you brought out the rowdy hee-haw and the delicate flower in bloom, another connection of two worlds.
Everyone apart of the story.
Giving up the imaginary, where we the reader, given a taste, go on and remember our own days of glory.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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This took me back to the old days, fun days. You used great desciptions that all could enjoy, from the grown-up to the child, listening as this beautiful poem is read.
You brought the picture into my mind, I could see the forts and the flashlights on the faces.
Nicely written, it's hard to be both the adult writer and the child. Well maybe not hard, as I am just a big ole kid myself, but to make the reader understand both, to feel both, to live both.
Also, you brought out the rowdy hee-haw and the delicate flower in bloom, another connection of two worlds.
Everyone apart of the story.
Giving up the imaginary, where we the reader, given a taste, go on and remember our own days of glory.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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So pleased you enjoyed my offering! Those were wonderful times and friends...diane
Comment from PUPA
The artwork goes well with the subject, especially because it is taken from a distance. Like these wonderful childhood memories long time ago. I enjoyed the nostalgic feeling I got reading it though.
Tetracyts is quite new to me. It looks good.
Pupa
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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The artwork goes well with the subject, especially because it is taken from a distance. Like these wonderful childhood memories long time ago. I enjoyed the nostalgic feeling I got reading it though.
Tetracyts is quite new to me. It looks good.
Pupa
Comment Written 22-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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Hello! Tetractys is my favorite form...have written many, but they are usually center-aligned. They are a wonderful format with which to tell a story in poetic format. So pleased you stopped by...diane
Comment from Rainbow Writer
I absolutely loved this. I've nothing bad to say about it at all, I loved the way it flowed and it gave me shivers down my spine at the end... the repetition of the beginning was excellent.
Thank you, a lovely read.
RW
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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I absolutely loved this. I've nothing bad to say about it at all, I loved the way it flowed and it gave me shivers down my spine at the end... the repetition of the beginning was excellent.
Thank you, a lovely read.
RW
Comment Written 22-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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So pleased you enjoyed my offering. Wonderful memories...diane
Comment from venusanblue
I enjoyed this trip through your childhood memories. A well structured flowing poem. I smiled when I thought of the dare game to go and touch a grave-stone, The flashlights under the chin,and the ghost stories. The innocent days of summers past. LOvely. V,xx
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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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I enjoyed this trip through your childhood memories. A well structured flowing poem. I smiled when I thought of the dare game to go and touch a grave-stone, The flashlights under the chin,and the ghost stories. The innocent days of summers past. LOvely. V,xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2007
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Am so pleased you enjoyed my offering. Those were just wonderful friends and times...diane