How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Three More Illusion Crashers"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
95 total reviews
Comment from justafan
Your work here in the critting department has opened a window in my little writing corner and illuminated my work in ways I never saw before. Almost everything you have warned about, I have been guilty of. I tend to lose myself, then when re-reading miss the fatal flaws you so vividly point out here. I am going to keep your window open for future endeavors dear Jay :) I love the humor you add to keep me from feeling like a complete idiot.
Always justafan,
Missy
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Your work here in the critting department has opened a window in my little writing corner and illuminated my work in ways I never saw before. Almost everything you have warned about, I have been guilty of. I tend to lose myself, then when re-reading miss the fatal flaws you so vividly point out here. I am going to keep your window open for future endeavors dear Jay :) I love the humor you add to keep me from feeling like a complete idiot.
Always justafan,
Missy
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you, Missy. I'm so glad you are able to use this on your own writing. You are very kind.
Comment from Dashjianta
An excellent explanation of author intrusions, Jay, along with some good examples of how NOT to get information across. The final exchange between Mary and Mark is so overworked it's funny. Lots of writers--oldies and newbies, and me in lazy mode--can all learn from reading this.
Laziness does tend to be a big reason for letting some of the things happen. I'm guilty of that myself, though I try to restrict it to first drafts, where it's case of 'I do it the hard way, or it's going to take an hour for this one sentence and then the scene won't get done.'
Another intrusion I dislike is the antagonist's POV being put in once or twice in a book to tell the reader what he's up to. If his POV of in there regularly, it's okay, but when you know it's only there to build suspense by going 'look what I'm setting the protagonist up for next *evil laugh*' it's annoying.
No nits.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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An excellent explanation of author intrusions, Jay, along with some good examples of how NOT to get information across. The final exchange between Mary and Mark is so overworked it's funny. Lots of writers--oldies and newbies, and me in lazy mode--can all learn from reading this.
Laziness does tend to be a big reason for letting some of the things happen. I'm guilty of that myself, though I try to restrict it to first drafts, where it's case of 'I do it the hard way, or it's going to take an hour for this one sentence and then the scene won't get done.'
Another intrusion I dislike is the antagonist's POV being put in once or twice in a book to tell the reader what he's up to. If his POV of in there regularly, it's okay, but when you know it's only there to build suspense by going 'look what I'm setting the protagonist up for next *evil laugh*' it's annoying.
No nits.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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I know what you mean about the introspective antagonist. If it's not frequently done, it can be quite obvious. I appreciate the 6 stars. You actually keep them into the week?
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Yups. I'm stingy with my 6s. I tend to feel 6s and think 5 or 4 etc.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Another excellent chapter. I have to bookmark this so I can use it as a reference. You did a great job. If i had a six I'd give it to you. Shirley
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Another excellent chapter. I have to bookmark this so I can use it as a reference. You did a great job. If i had a six I'd give it to you. Shirley
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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I understand the lack of sixes, Shirley. I'm the worst offender there. Thank you so much for your kind rating.
Comment from royowen
Reviewing is really hard, to be in a position to tell a writer, what Is wrong, that the plot is frail, or there is something wrong with the framework of the work. And first of all how do you tell them gently and constructively without eternally offending them and discouraging them forever! This has been very helpful to me Jay, well done with the series, although I know you haven't quite finished yet! I don't know whether I'm better at reviewing, but you're pretty good, well done, my friend, blessings Roy.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Reviewing is really hard, to be in a position to tell a writer, what Is wrong, that the plot is frail, or there is something wrong with the framework of the work. And first of all how do you tell them gently and constructively without eternally offending them and discouraging them forever! This has been very helpful to me Jay, well done with the series, although I know you haven't quite finished yet! I don't know whether I'm better at reviewing, but you're pretty good, well done, my friend, blessings Roy.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you, Roy, for your always encouraging commentary. I appreciate you.
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Most welcome Jay
Comment from alexisleech
It's the author. And he's a most unwelcome "someone else" to the story. - I love this! I know exactly what you mean. There you are, really enjoying the story and then bang! The author steps in and explains things to you like you're a five year old.
I will always be a story teller, as opposed to a good writer, but that's fine by me. Yes, making people laugh means a lot, but feeling that bond with someone because you're writing something they can identify with is what gives me the 'buzz.'
Your advice is, as always, spot on. Because you write in the first person (my preferred mode) we can get up close and personal whilst learning at the same time. And now I'm going to show off. I still have a six to give!
Alexis x
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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It's the author. And he's a most unwelcome "someone else" to the story. - I love this! I know exactly what you mean. There you are, really enjoying the story and then bang! The author steps in and explains things to you like you're a five year old.
I will always be a story teller, as opposed to a good writer, but that's fine by me. Yes, making people laugh means a lot, but feeling that bond with someone because you're writing something they can identify with is what gives me the 'buzz.'
Your advice is, as always, spot on. Because you write in the first person (my preferred mode) we can get up close and personal whilst learning at the same time. And now I'm going to show off. I still have a six to give!
Alexis x
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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I haven't had a six since Monday. Thanks for awarding me with yours. I'm also happy you were able to see this chapter's applicability.
Comment from Writingfundimension
'I know this because I have been frantically working my brain knuckles to the skull bone for at least that long...' A very refreshing description, Jay.
I like your explanation around the issue of author intrusion. I think that is possibly my worst nemesis!
'... while the reader wants (read that as needs) to take the surface streets...' Excellent analogy, and worth remembering.
Another really good chapter in this series, Jay.
:) Bev
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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'I know this because I have been frantically working my brain knuckles to the skull bone for at least that long...' A very refreshing description, Jay.
I like your explanation around the issue of author intrusion. I think that is possibly my worst nemesis!
'... while the reader wants (read that as needs) to take the surface streets...' Excellent analogy, and worth remembering.
Another really good chapter in this series, Jay.
:) Bev
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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I appreciate your reading and enjoying this chapter, Bev.
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You're welcome, Jay. :)
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Verrry interesting. I actually don't know how I've done this, if I ever have. My guess is just have her come right out and say it... have her tell him, revealing everything in a dramatic scene where they could bond, for he would show his understanding and she would show relief that he knows and is supportive.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Verrry interesting. I actually don't know how I've done this, if I ever have. My guess is just have her come right out and say it... have her tell him, revealing everything in a dramatic scene where they could bond, for he would show his understanding and she would show relief that he knows and is supportive.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Absolutely, Phyllis, but many new writers are reluctant to have the characters pound out their problems if the writer can tell the reader. Happily this has not been your problem.
Comment from Tatarka2
So, how many critters do you reckon it would take to write a real critique? Or, will Mark and Mary stay together in wedded bliss, or will Mariah run off with the ubiquitous Buford? (You actually had ne believing in and caring about them). Seriously, this is excellent advice, which should be read by every writer who aspires to have others read and enjoy their work. Very nicely said, too - written with humor as well as understanding of the writer and hiss/her craft.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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So, how many critters do you reckon it would take to write a real critique? Or, will Mark and Mary stay together in wedded bliss, or will Mariah run off with the ubiquitous Buford? (You actually had ne believing in and caring about them). Seriously, this is excellent advice, which should be read by every writer who aspires to have others read and enjoy their work. Very nicely said, too - written with humor as well as understanding of the writer and hiss/her craft.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you, Tatarka. Your crit is so encouraging. Thank you. I hope others find it helpful.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Mary is a HO! LOL! Lots of great advice in this addition and I love your writing voice no matter what they say about you. You can beat me if you like, but I just write and this stuff kind of comes out naturally for me. If I had to think about all of this it would become work and I write for spiritual peace and relaxation .... do you think that is wrong? I always think that it simply flows for good writers like you and Dean and such. Regardless, I enjoyed this immensely and am sure some of this will stick in my subconscious for future reference.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Mary is a HO! LOL! Lots of great advice in this addition and I love your writing voice no matter what they say about you. You can beat me if you like, but I just write and this stuff kind of comes out naturally for me. If I had to think about all of this it would become work and I write for spiritual peace and relaxation .... do you think that is wrong? I always think that it simply flows for good writers like you and Dean and such. Regardless, I enjoyed this immensely and am sure some of this will stick in my subconscious for future reference.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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You are on the right tack. You can't do your creative work, as opposed to your editing, and rewriting work, thinking about whether you are intruding, or letting your characters intrude. The place to do that is in the rewrite. What do you mean, "no matter what they say about you"? You mean everyone doesn't love me? LOL, thanks, Mystic Angel.
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I love you and that is all that matters LOL.
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Oh, you are sooooooo sweet, my dear.
Comment from Curly Girly
This was another informative chapter, Jay. I read it all. It held my attention until halfway, and then I got confused. Your chatty style had my head spinning. But I think I have the gist of most of it. I felt clarity was lacking. You are very bright, but I wasn't keeping up.
Typo:
"You're a wonderful wife, Mary," he said loudly enough she could hear him over the running water in the sink.
"You're a wonderful wife, Mary," he said loudly enough [SO] she could hear him over the running water in the sink.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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This was another informative chapter, Jay. I read it all. It held my attention until halfway, and then I got confused. Your chatty style had my head spinning. But I think I have the gist of most of it. I felt clarity was lacking. You are very bright, but I wasn't keeping up.
Typo:
"You're a wonderful wife, Mary," he said loudly enough she could hear him over the running water in the sink.
"You're a wonderful wife, Mary," he said loudly enough [SO] she could hear him over the running water in the sink.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you, Nicole. Sorry you got lost. Hey, I'm chatty. What can I say? That was why I highlighted the various types of intrusion. I'll check into your suggestion. I had "that" where you suggested "so" but felt it wasn't needed. I'll give it some serious consideration, though. Thanks again, Nicole.