Emotional Trigger
A personal revelation47 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
Thanks for sharing everything, Jesse. You did a good job explaining what the situation was and how you were dealing with it. It is a good thing when we remember things that we didn't like from our past, and then realize we are doing the same thing. It's always good that we try to change the behavior because it was impacting our mood.
Is this something new that you will have more than one care giver during the week? I hope everything works out, and I like your inclusion of the Beatle's lyric. A very good poetic line to end the piece. Have a great day and week ahead.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Thanks for sharing everything, Jesse. You did a good job explaining what the situation was and how you were dealing with it. It is a good thing when we remember things that we didn't like from our past, and then realize we are doing the same thing. It's always good that we try to change the behavior because it was impacting our mood.
Is this something new that you will have more than one care giver during the week? I hope everything works out, and I like your inclusion of the Beatle's lyric. A very good poetic line to end the piece. Have a great day and week ahead.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Pam, for your positive feedback.
Yes, I have many caregivers during the week and weekend. They help me dress, bathe, transfer, go shopping, run errands, and do other things such as laundry.
Companionship is also a consideration.
Thanks for choosing your favorite line from the Beatles.
Enjoy your weekend.
Jesse
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You are very welcome, Jesse, and thanks for sharing about the caregivers. You have a good rest of the weekend, too.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
The task you have set yourself is a difficult one, especially as it requires a changing the habits of a lifetime. But just look at the rewards you can expect. I'll be rooting for you. kay
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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The task you have set yourself is a difficult one, especially as it requires a changing the habits of a lifetime. But just look at the rewards you can expect. I'll be rooting for you. kay
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Kay. I will need all the support I can get. Setting boundaries does bring rewards, yet it is still hard work.
Thanks for your positive feedback.
Have a wonderful day.
Jesse
Comment from karenina
Caregivers should never bring their personal problems to work with them.
If this was a one time only bad day, it would be understandable, but you are quite correct that even then you should stop the emotional trigger.
I suppose saying "Stop!" works... Making an "I" statement could, perhaps solve the problem.
Something like "I feel triggered and stressed when confronted by others' personal issues."
At least gives her feedback and, assuming she is a good caretaker otherwise, might solve the problem...
What's great is that you recognize this as a trigger and know why!
Karenina
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Caregivers should never bring their personal problems to work with them.
If this was a one time only bad day, it would be understandable, but you are quite correct that even then you should stop the emotional trigger.
I suppose saying "Stop!" works... Making an "I" statement could, perhaps solve the problem.
Something like "I feel triggered and stressed when confronted by others' personal issues."
At least gives her feedback and, assuming she is a good caretaker otherwise, might solve the problem...
What's great is that you recognize this as a trigger and know why!
Karenina
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Hello Karenina.
I think Stop is an icebreaker, and then I will add the 'I' statements after that to explain why I stopped them. Thanks for the positive feedback. Yes, I agree caregivers should never bring their troubles to work with them.
Recognizing the trigger is the first step.
I will proceed with caution as I set boundaries with all my caregivers.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Jesse
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I'm sure you do a very fine job setting boundaries, Jesse. Communication is your superpower!
:)
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That is kind of you to say. I do my best to communicate.
Comment from Wendyanne
I can relate to this as a nurse as even when I'm not on duty I still end up having to listen to everyone's woes!!! Perhaps I should say STOP! Taking care of your own mental health is the most important thing. Thanks for sharing this with us!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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I can relate to this as a nurse as even when I'm not on duty I still end up having to listen to everyone's woes!!! Perhaps I should say STOP! Taking care of your own mental health is the most important thing. Thanks for sharing this with us!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Agreed. Taking care of our own mental health must be our number one priority.
I am glad that this resonates with you. Thanks for your positive feedback.
Jesse
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was wrong of your mother to load you with her woes. It has been with you all your life. But your plan sounds like a good one, and I do hope you succeed. Perhaps a gentle word with Grace, just to explain why you said what you did. It wasn't that bad, but to someone who is feeling bad already, perhaps is was the wrong response. I think she will understand, and hopefully learn from it. Well done, my friend. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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That was wrong of your mother to load you with her woes. It has been with you all your life. But your plan sounds like a good one, and I do hope you succeed. Perhaps a gentle word with Grace, just to explain why you said what you did. It wasn't that bad, but to someone who is feeling bad already, perhaps is was the wrong response. I think she will understand, and hopefully learn from it. Well done, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Sandra, for your sage advice. I already gently spoke to Grace about how I couldn't listen to any more of her woes but she did not handle it well and went home early. Perhaps, she will think about it and we can move on together on Monday. The best thing is if we both learn from the experience. Thanks for your positive feedback. Have a wonderful weekend.
Jesse
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good morning, Jesse!
Your "personal revelation" will resonate with many readers; I know it does with me!
While not the exact set of circumstances, I have a friend who, whenever I share anything with her, does not listen to what I am saying; instead, she interrupts my telling to "one up me" with what she considers to be similar circumstances/situations.
She is a fragile individual, so I tread lightly, but goodness! Setting boundaries with her is quite the challenge!
Thank you for sharing, Jesse!
"Touch the sky!"
diane
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Good morning, Jesse!
Your "personal revelation" will resonate with many readers; I know it does with me!
While not the exact set of circumstances, I have a friend who, whenever I share anything with her, does not listen to what I am saying; instead, she interrupts my telling to "one up me" with what she considers to be similar circumstances/situations.
She is a fragile individual, so I tread lightly, but goodness! Setting boundaries with her is quite the challenge!
Thank you for sharing, Jesse!
"Touch the sky!"
diane
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Hello Diane!
Thanks for the six stars! Thank you also for sharing your experience with your friend it sounds like she has to be the one with the most problems between you.
Setting boundaries is always hard and challenging. But it is well worth it!
I hope you enjoy your weekend, my friend!
Jesse
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It is not fair for your caregiver to offload her troubles on you Jesse, it is unprofessional and also selfish. Her visits should be all about you and the care she is giving you and she must leave her personal life at home when she is working. I think you have to be strong and take what says with a pinch of salt and show no interest in her problems. I enjoyed your honest post Jesse, take good care of yourself, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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It is not fair for your caregiver to offload her troubles on you Jesse, it is unprofessional and also selfish. Her visits should be all about you and the care she is giving you and she must leave her personal life at home when she is working. I think you have to be strong and take what says with a pinch of salt and show no interest in her problems. I enjoyed your honest post Jesse, take good care of yourself, love Dolly x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Thanks for shedding some light on what a professional caregiver should do and not do. Leaving their troubles at home and not bringing them to work is sound advice.
I will take a pinch of salt with whatever anyone tells me...I have to, it saves me and my mental health. I am glad you appreciated my honesty. Thanks, Dolly.
Jesse