Comment from
Dolly'sPoems
I adored the sentiment, the rhymes and the metre here Paul. Your message is clear and I can identify with your words.
I have a few suggestions for you for the sake of metre in these lines:
(Things would turn out grand).
(For years I've (knelt) down on my knees)
(In this land, are fading).
A magical write, much enjoyed, love Christine x
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Comment Written 01-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
Thanks for the suggestions, Christine. In the two cases on meter, it was a continuation from the previous line. The poem is written in iambic heptameter, and instead of one long line, I use two. I think it looks better. I thought of "knelt" but thought it was too close to "kneel". I really appreciate your evaluation.
reply by Dolly'sPoems on 01-Mar-2023