Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Betrayal Chapter 11"In the title.
45 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Sandra,
No nits. Just good high-drama. I enjoyed this piece and was surprised and pleased when Monica took her concerns to Blake. Great idea!
This should help things come together well. Waiting for the next one!
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
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Sandra,
No nits. Just good high-drama. I enjoyed this piece and was surprised and pleased when Monica took her concerns to Blake. Great idea!
This should help things come together well. Waiting for the next one!
Comment Written 06-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
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What a lovely review, Robyn. Thank you so much for your very encouraging words. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a fine linking chapter that develops the connection between the earlier part of the story and what will transpire in future episodes. Monica's growing panic is well handled and the police reaction is certainly par for the course.
I noticed only this one nit: '... why he had to cancelled the meeting.' Either 'why he had had to cancel(led) the meeting.' or 'why he had (to) cancelled the meeting.' I would prefer the latter ass I never feel comfortable with a doubled 'had'. You could of course have ' why he had
found it necessary to cancel(led) the meeting.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
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This is a fine linking chapter that develops the connection between the earlier part of the story and what will transpire in future episodes. Monica's growing panic is well handled and the police reaction is certainly par for the course.
I noticed only this one nit: '... why he had to cancelled the meeting.' Either 'why he had had to cancel(led) the meeting.' or 'why he had (to) cancelled the meeting.' I would prefer the latter ass I never feel comfortable with a doubled 'had'. You could of course have ' why he had
found it necessary to cancel(led) the meeting.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
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Goodness! I read that through just before I posted and never noticed that I'd put cancelled instead of cancel. It worked out well, anyway, because I like your last sugestion and put that!! Lol
Thank you for those lovely comments, Jim. I needed to get the background across before I went any further. I've got a bit of a niggle about a paragraph coming up in 2 parts time, it deals with colour. How to put that sentence without being politically incorrect! (hate all that!) I might get you to read it straight away when I post it. Why can we say white, but hesitate over black, and why can't we use 'colour'? Thanks again, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
I went to bed with my fingers crossed that you'd win the BoM. You should have.
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Thanks for your crossed fingers for the BoM. Mine were too but I wasn't surprised at the result. I like to help over your coming PC issue. Only hope I can but it all changes so rapidly. I am not sure what is in and what is out any more. My suggestion would be to cultivate a 'black' person to advise you. If you don't have any real ones in Southampton what about here on FS. Is there someone who regularly reviews you well. If I were in that predicament I might ask Nomi338 as he is one of my most ardent fans.
But run it past me if you like. I will do the best I can.
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I wasn't surprised at the result either. It's a shame, because you really deserved it. I'll be changing my ways on here in the new year. I won't just post on Sundays any more, it will be when I'm ready, and
I won't be posting high any more, either. When we do have that chat, you'll understand why.
I like Nomi as well, he's a lovely man, and that's a good idea about asking him, but I'll still run it by you.
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Feel free. I'm here for anyone who's here for me. I will be interested to learn why you have decided not to post high.
Name your day and time and I will set up that chat.
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Are you free anytime on Monday morning? I'll be out after 1pm. Next week I have hospital, doctors and a nurse appointment for my yearly asthma check, the others for the old bones! lol.
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How about 11.00 a.m. Monday (tomorrow)?
If you confirm this I will send you an email with the Zoom link.
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That's perfect. Send the link. :)
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I just thought, I don't think you have my email address! Lol.
sandramaureenmitchell@gmail.com
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OK
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Email sent.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Thanks for sharing about the book cover, Sandra.
-That is very special.
-An excellent chapter that reveals many
reasons why Monica and Tania are so close.
-The background of the accident and Monica's
parents wanting to adopt Tania was heartbreaking.
-How awful that must have been.
-Now we know why they are so close and
Monica is frantic with worry.
-Interesting that the police didn't want
to pursue much when they learned more
about the situation; I wonder if it was because
of Colin's name and the business reputation.
-I think Monica made a wise choice to go
see Grant; she probably told him more than
Tania would have in more normal circumstances.
-He took it all very seriously, and gives Monica
a chance to settle her nerves and explain.
-I just looked at the character description and
didn't realize Colin was a half-brother. That
certainly explains a lot, too.
-Well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
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-Thanks for sharing about the book cover, Sandra.
-That is very special.
-An excellent chapter that reveals many
reasons why Monica and Tania are so close.
-The background of the accident and Monica's
parents wanting to adopt Tania was heartbreaking.
-How awful that must have been.
-Now we know why they are so close and
Monica is frantic with worry.
-Interesting that the police didn't want
to pursue much when they learned more
about the situation; I wonder if it was because
of Colin's name and the business reputation.
-I think Monica made a wise choice to go
see Grant; she probably told him more than
Tania would have in more normal circumstances.
-He took it all very seriously, and gives Monica
a chance to settle her nerves and explain.
-I just looked at the character description and
didn't realize Colin was a half-brother. That
certainly explains a lot, too.
-Well done, my friend.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
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Thank goodness you mentioned Grant and Colin's relationship. I forgot to take that off, because I wanted that to come out in the next part, which would then explain a few other things. So, keep it a secret, I've deleted it now!! Lol.
Thank you so very much for the six stars, Pam, and the lovely detailed review. Now readers can see why Monica is so upset, and won't rest until something is done to look for Tania. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part, after the last one, this is quite tame.
Thank you again, my dear friend. I always appreciate your first impressions. Sending you a warm hug, and much love. :)) Sandra xxx
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. We don't need high drama too often, so this was a good follow up chapter.
Comment from Sanku
WoW! Monica is a real friend .I was thinking as I was reading that she should contact Grant. That is exactly what has happened. Now things are really hotting up....
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
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WoW! Monica is a real friend .I was thinking as I was reading that she should contact Grant. That is exactly what has happened. Now things are really hotting up....
Comment Written 06-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
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You have no idea just how hot they will be getting! Colin is a nast peice of work. I'm so very pleased you liked this part, Sanku, thank you so very much for your enthusiastic review. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from BethShelby
This is an exciting and intense story. It is good to know more about how Tanya fits into the picture. This tells us a lot about these girls background. I not surprised the police were unwilling to get involved at this point. Tanya went to the right person. Greg seems to have as low an opinion of his half brother as Tanya does. I'm anxious to see what will happen next.
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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
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This is an exciting and intense story. It is good to know more about how Tanya fits into the picture. This tells us a lot about these girls background. I not surprised the police were unwilling to get involved at this point. Tanya went to the right person. Greg seems to have as low an opinion of his half brother as Tanya does. I'm anxious to see what will happen next.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
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Thank you so much for another of your lovely reviews, Beth! I really appreciate all your comments and the support you have given me. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx