Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Betrayal Chapter 7"In the title.
42 total reviews
Comment from Mistydawn
Oh, this is going to be good. I do hope she can clear things up once and for all. Maybe get him to incriminate himself, make old snooty butt eat his words, put her ex in jail where he belongs. Your story is well-written interesting, realistic from start to finish. Your characters really come to life. I always enjoy the colorful phrases. I know it's commonplace for you, but for me, it gives it a little extra, a real treat.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2020
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Oh, this is going to be good. I do hope she can clear things up once and for all. Maybe get him to incriminate himself, make old snooty butt eat his words, put her ex in jail where he belongs. Your story is well-written interesting, realistic from start to finish. Your characters really come to life. I always enjoy the colorful phrases. I know it's commonplace for you, but for me, it gives it a little extra, a real treat.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2020
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You always give me such amazing reviews. I'm always laughing by the time I get to the end. Snooty butt!!! LOL I might have to use that. I love what you said about my characters coming to life, that made my day. Thank you ever so much for the six stars, Misty, you're a diamond. Warm hugs, and love, Sandra xxx
Comment from Pantygynt
Hey all the storysmiths are out this afternoon. And I'll be joining the rush when I've finished reviewing.
I felt cheated that I couldn't join that delicious dinner party. What i mean is why couldn't they have talked while they were eating, no not with their mouths full but narrative slows the pace when interspersed in the dialogue and at the beginning of the piece it should perhaps be slower to contrast with the cracking pace at the end. Just a thought really.
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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2020
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Hey all the storysmiths are out this afternoon. And I'll be joining the rush when I've finished reviewing.
I felt cheated that I couldn't join that delicious dinner party. What i mean is why couldn't they have talked while they were eating, no not with their mouths full but narrative slows the pace when interspersed in the dialogue and at the beginning of the piece it should perhaps be slower to contrast with the cracking pace at the end. Just a thought really.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2020
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Hmm, I think I'll take a look at that scene at the table, and add to it. Small talk can be interesting as well without it sounding like fluff fillers. Thanks for that suggestion, Jim. I'm glad you enjoyed the rest of it. I'll be looking out for your post. Warm hugs my friend. :)) Sandra xx
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I just thought some of the first part of the conversation that took place after dinner (before the phone rang) might have taken place at the table between mouthfuls.
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Ok, I've made a slight change, when you have a minute, could you take a look? No hurry. :))
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Yes. More natural. I enjoyed the mouth full chopstick waving sequence.
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Thanks Jim. xx