Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Betrayal Chapter 1"In the title.
53 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your novel is off to a great start, Sandra. You defined your characters well. I like Tania. I believe she is a strong woman although she has her doubts about herself. I like the idea of rehabbing an old building into something new and useful. I believe the man who slung the mud on her is connected to the building--maybe he is the one who will interview her. I look forward to the next chapter.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Your novel is off to a great start, Sandra. You defined your characters well. I like Tania. I believe she is a strong woman although she has her doubts about herself. I like the idea of rehabbing an old building into something new and useful. I believe the man who slung the mud on her is connected to the building--maybe he is the one who will interview her. I look forward to the next chapter.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Jan! I'm so pleased you enjoyed this first part and really appreciate those encouraging words. Thank you, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from aryr
A great starting chapter, Sandra. Tania was truly irritated and angry at Grant, especially not knowing that he represented the business that she was trying so hard to get into. It shall be interesting to see if he remembers her, if she does get the job? Well done. Smiles, hugs and blessings.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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A great starting chapter, Sandra. Tania was truly irritated and angry at Grant, especially not knowing that he represented the business that she was trying so hard to get into. It shall be interesting to see if he remembers her, if she does get the job? Well done. Smiles, hugs and blessings.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Alie. The first chapter is always nerve-racking. Now you've met two of the characters, a few more to come over the next few parts. Have a lovely day, my friend, warm hugs. Sandra xx
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You are so welcome Sandra, its exciting that you are drifting elsewhere.
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You are so welcome Sandra, its exciting that you are drifting elsewhere.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, you've started this one off with Tania giving her future boss a royal parking-lot tongue lashing before her interview. I just wish I could be peeking around a corner to see the look on her face when she figures it out. You've got me hooked already. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Well, you've started this one off with Tania giving her future boss a royal parking-lot tongue lashing before her interview. I just wish I could be peeking around a corner to see the look on her face when she figures it out. You've got me hooked already. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Yes, she's in for a shock! Lol. Thank you so much for the six stars, Ric. You couldn't have said anything nicer than you are hooked, thank you! You've made my day! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from tfawcus
A great start to your new novel. You have introduced the two lead characters with an inciting incident that has dramatic consequences for Tania. The reader immediately empathises with her. There is the prospect of months of work being for nought, yet you leave us with the tantalising prospect of a more favorable outcome. As they say, the main thing is to make an impression - and she's certainly done that!
Two minor things to consider. I'd probably replace the second 'back' here with 'rear': "confronted his back as he leaned into the back seat".
"Grant Blake slowly turned around to discover who was on the receiving end of the angry lashing tongue, and frowned when he realised it was him." I felt that Grant would have known it was him being addressed here. The earlier use of 'confronted' suggests that they are at close quarters and, in the previous paragraph, the 'flashy sports car' is a pretty good clue. Maybe "Grant Blake slowly turned around to discover who was giving him such an angry tongue-lashing."
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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A great start to your new novel. You have introduced the two lead characters with an inciting incident that has dramatic consequences for Tania. The reader immediately empathises with her. There is the prospect of months of work being for nought, yet you leave us with the tantalising prospect of a more favorable outcome. As they say, the main thing is to make an impression - and she's certainly done that!
Two minor things to consider. I'd probably replace the second 'back' here with 'rear': "confronted his back as he leaned into the back seat".
"Grant Blake slowly turned around to discover who was on the receiving end of the angry lashing tongue, and frowned when he realised it was him." I felt that Grant would have known it was him being addressed here. The earlier use of 'confronted' suggests that they are at close quarters and, in the previous paragraph, the 'flashy sports car' is a pretty good clue. Maybe "Grant Blake slowly turned around to discover who was giving him such an angry tongue-lashing."
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Two excellent points, Tony, I'll make those changes now. I think we are so fortunate to belong to a site where we have the use of other authors' input. I'm also really pleased that you like the first part, as this is such an important chapter.
Thank you so much for the six stars, and very helpful review, you're a good friend! Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Cindy Warren
I'm guessing that the interviewer will turn out to be Grant Blake, the same jerk who splashed her. He may admire her feisty attitude and hire her, but a jerk is a jerk. I think Tania should be careful.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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I'm guessing that the interviewer will turn out to be Grant Blake, the same jerk who splashed her. He may admire her feisty attitude and hire her, but a jerk is a jerk. I think Tania should be careful.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Things will get quite heated, so stay tuned! Thank you, Cindy, I loved your review for the first chapter, it's always the hardest one to write. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Gert sherwood
A chapter in the book Betrayal
The Accusation
sandramitchell As I was reading this excellent chapter in your book I said to myself, here is a book I need to slow down so to make sure I don't miss the excellent way that you keep your story moving until the end.
Looks like I must read your next chapter, to see if Tania is the person that this company is the right one.
Gert
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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A chapter in the book Betrayal
The Accusation
sandramitchell As I was reading this excellent chapter in your book I said to myself, here is a book I need to slow down so to make sure I don't miss the excellent way that you keep your story moving until the end.
Looks like I must read your next chapter, to see if Tania is the person that this company is the right one.
Gert
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Aw, thank you so very much for reading chapter one of my new book, Gert! I do so value your review. The six stars are a bonus, my friend. I do hope you continue to enjoy the story. Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment from Colin John
Hi Sandra, cannot give you five stars when you have put so much effort into this and that's no lie( no pun intended lol. It is a great story and very well written, kind regards Colin xx
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Hi Sandra, cannot give you five stars when you have put so much effort into this and that's no lie( no pun intended lol. It is a great story and very well written, kind regards Colin xx
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Aw, thank you so much for the lovely sixth star, Colin, and your really kind review. I'm delighted you enjoyed reading the first chapter, that's the one that has me biting my nails! Lol. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
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:)
Comment from lyenochka
Great beginning!! (is this the start of a new novel?) I knew immediately that the encounter would lead to Grant and Tania meeting at the interview - guess that's coming next! I wonder if her work had been stolen before or if there were some patent issues? Guess you'll let us know soon.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Great beginning!! (is this the start of a new novel?) I knew immediately that the encounter would lead to Grant and Tania meeting at the interview - guess that's coming next! I wonder if her work had been stolen before or if there were some patent issues? Guess you'll let us know soon.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Helen! Yes, it's the beginning, and I'm quite nervous. You'll get your answers soon, lol, I'm not saying more than that. But, your review has give me a smile, the first chapter is the one that gets your readers or loses them. Thanks, Helen. Warm hugs. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from teols2016
Very nice. I caught no errors and I am eager to read more. There is definetly more than two ways this story can go ... so many great possibilities. Well done.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Very nice. I caught no errors and I am eager to read more. There is definetly more than two ways this story can go ... so many great possibilities. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you! Your review so encouraging because the first chapter is always the hardest to get right. You've made my day! Warm hugs, Sandra
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Wonderful cliff hanger! I can't wait to see how this goes. Obviously her interview is with the gentleman she had given the tongue lashing to earlier. So happy to see you writing another book, Good job, good luck with it. Hugs Nancy
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Wonderful cliff hanger! I can't wait to see how this goes. Obviously her interview is with the gentleman she had given the tongue lashing to earlier. So happy to see you writing another book, Good job, good luck with it. Hugs Nancy
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for the six stars, Nancy! What a lovely review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed reading the first chapter, it's always the hardest. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
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You go girl! Best of luck with the book.:)
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Aw, thank you! Love you lots. xx