The Diner
best place in town46 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
I've often wondered why the newscasters never show this side of the protests--the people whose lives are affected because of the destruction when it turns into rioting. I've wondered how many are financially ruined and why no one seems to care about their rights. You also bring up the prospect of physical harm and even death to unsuspecting bystanders, not to mention the psychological aspects.
Well written. You know how to draw the reader in and make them care for the characters.
  |
I've often wondered why the newscasters never show this side of the protests--the people whose lives are affected because of the destruction when it turns into rioting. I've wondered how many are financially ruined and why no one seems to care about their rights. You also bring up the prospect of physical harm and even death to unsuspecting bystanders, not to mention the psychological aspects.
Well written. You know how to draw the reader in and make them care for the characters.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
Comment from GESS
This story is intriguing; as a reader, I wondered why I was meeting all of these characters.
But the story doesn't provide information or time for the reader to connect with any character, to really care about each or any of them.
Adding dialog between the characters, specially with the server Candace since she presumably interacts with each of the other characters, would allow readers more ways to connect and care.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
  |
This story is intriguing; as a reader, I wondered why I was meeting all of these characters.
But the story doesn't provide information or time for the reader to connect with any character, to really care about each or any of them.
Adding dialog between the characters, specially with the server Candace since she presumably interacts with each of the other characters, would allow readers more ways to connect and care.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Gareth,
I enjoyed your story. My wife & I visit AJ's Restaurant regularly for breakfast. We have a couple favorite waitresses there... Vicky and Erin. Lately, of course, they've been wearing masks so we can't see their beautiful faces. But they are friendly and helpful, and do a fabulous job of cleaning tables and chairs, and sugar and S&P shakers after each customer. It's simple fare at the restaurant, but it's a place where "everybody knows your name". At our age, (I'm almost 70, and my wife is 65) we don't eat much for the first meal of the day. So we normally order one breakfast and divide it between us. Less expense, too. Especially in this pandemic, it gives a feeling of normalcy.
These days, there are a lot of crazy people out there, eh? I think Communists have infiltrated many countries, and they're out to cause as much damage as they can ... anything to keep Mr. Trump and Associates off balance. (Of course, I think they've been off balance since his reign of terror began.)
I enjoyed your story, how innocent people can be injured or killed for no reason at all. Nicely penned!
Cheers,
Kimbob
|
Hi Gareth,
I enjoyed your story. My wife & I visit AJ's Restaurant regularly for breakfast. We have a couple favorite waitresses there... Vicky and Erin. Lately, of course, they've been wearing masks so we can't see their beautiful faces. But they are friendly and helpful, and do a fabulous job of cleaning tables and chairs, and sugar and S&P shakers after each customer. It's simple fare at the restaurant, but it's a place where "everybody knows your name". At our age, (I'm almost 70, and my wife is 65) we don't eat much for the first meal of the day. So we normally order one breakfast and divide it between us. Less expense, too. Especially in this pandemic, it gives a feeling of normalcy.
These days, there are a lot of crazy people out there, eh? I think Communists have infiltrated many countries, and they're out to cause as much damage as they can ... anything to keep Mr. Trump and Associates off balance. (Of course, I think they've been off balance since his reign of terror began.)
I enjoyed your story, how innocent people can be injured or killed for no reason at all. Nicely penned!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
Comment from phill doran
Hello G
Very, very good - thought provoking and a large dose of a "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead"-type sentiment about the bit players, the side-show that's not a side show to the victims (or participants, albeit unwilling).
Some black strokes "...his head coming to rest onto the remainder of the best scrambled eggs in town..." but mainly we're safe, looking over the shoulder of the Observer.
It was very neutral of you to make it trash cans (let's say, rather than bombs). They are ubiquitous and, as I say, neutral.
A snap shot, a moment in the side show...and we move on. Nothing happin' here...
Great writing. Tight and controlled.
I wish you well. I enjoyed this.
Cheers
phill
|
Hello G
Very, very good - thought provoking and a large dose of a "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead"-type sentiment about the bit players, the side-show that's not a side show to the victims (or participants, albeit unwilling).
Some black strokes "...his head coming to rest onto the remainder of the best scrambled eggs in town..." but mainly we're safe, looking over the shoulder of the Observer.
It was very neutral of you to make it trash cans (let's say, rather than bombs). They are ubiquitous and, as I say, neutral.
A snap shot, a moment in the side show...and we move on. Nothing happin' here...
Great writing. Tight and controlled.
I wish you well. I enjoyed this.
Cheers
phill
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
Comment from Mary Vigasin
The turmoil came as a complete surprise. As I read this at the beginning, I just saw it as as a gathering of different characters at a local diner. Then the beginning of a pleasant day turned hellish.
Well done sir.
The only issue, if you can call it that, is "eating with aplomb" being an American it would seem a little strange wording and very upscale. We eat shoving large amounts of food in our mouths to show our confidence but that may just be our loss.
Do you need to identify the cause that led to this nightmare or best let it lie unsaid to your reader's imagination? Here in the States we are undergoing daily protests both left and right so one would see this protest through there own prism.
Again enjoyed your writing and story.
Mtv
|
The turmoil came as a complete surprise. As I read this at the beginning, I just saw it as as a gathering of different characters at a local diner. Then the beginning of a pleasant day turned hellish.
Well done sir.
The only issue, if you can call it that, is "eating with aplomb" being an American it would seem a little strange wording and very upscale. We eat shoving large amounts of food in our mouths to show our confidence but that may just be our loss.
Do you need to identify the cause that led to this nightmare or best let it lie unsaid to your reader's imagination? Here in the States we are undergoing daily protests both left and right so one would see this protest through there own prism.
Again enjoyed your writing and story.
Mtv
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
Comment from nancy_e_davis
No, It is neither one of those, it is what is happening all over our country, people, and we all know it is because of the upcoming election. Everything will calm down again after the fact. Peoples lives are being ruined, but who cares? Cause and effect. There was a song about that once , a few years ago. Well done Gareth. Nancy
|
No, It is neither one of those, it is what is happening all over our country, people, and we all know it is because of the upcoming election. Everything will calm down again after the fact. Peoples lives are being ruined, but who cares? Cause and effect. There was a song about that once , a few years ago. Well done Gareth. Nancy
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
Comment from Scarbrems
What I like about this is that you give us a snapshot of the people in the diner. People with lives. Human beings caught in the crossfire. An effective piece not from a political perspective but from a human perspective. Well done.
|
What I like about this is that you give us a snapshot of the people in the diner. People with lives. Human beings caught in the crossfire. An effective piece not from a political perspective but from a human perspective. Well done.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
Comment from damommy
Wonderful job of painting the entire scenario with your great details. Showing us the individuals early on made the ending worse because we knew these people.
|
Wonderful job of painting the entire scenario with your great details. Showing us the individuals early on made the ending worse because we knew these people.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
Comment from Mistydawn
This is a well-written, very interesting piece, of course. I love how you set it up at the beginning showing each doing their own thing, their normal routine. It gave us a little insight into the characters but it also set the tension, the possibility that danger was lurking close by. Your ending was heartwrenching. I felt so bad for the poor guy.
|
This is a well-written, very interesting piece, of course. I love how you set it up at the beginning showing each doing their own thing, their normal routine. It gave us a little insight into the characters but it also set the tension, the possibility that danger was lurking close by. Your ending was heartwrenching. I felt so bad for the poor guy.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
Comment from humpwhistle
The term which pops to mind is 'unintended consequences'--and a banal term it is, too. What you've done here, G, is personalized the result of thoughtless acts of violence. I'm glad you didn't identify the 'cause' of the protest because, to those in the diner, the 'cause' is irrelevant. The effect is what matters. 'Unintended' is no excuse. Of course, if I had a conspiratorial bent, I'd believe nothing is unintended.
Nicely done.
Peace, Lee
It was swelting work... --G, should this be sweltering?
|
The term which pops to mind is 'unintended consequences'--and a banal term it is, too. What you've done here, G, is personalized the result of thoughtless acts of violence. I'm glad you didn't identify the 'cause' of the protest because, to those in the diner, the 'cause' is irrelevant. The effect is what matters. 'Unintended' is no excuse. Of course, if I had a conspiratorial bent, I'd believe nothing is unintended.
Nicely done.
Peace, Lee
It was swelting work... --G, should this be sweltering?
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020