seagrass plenitude (haiku)
The trail to my beach is bordered by seagrass...38 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for allowing us to thoroughly enjoy this scene by adding the matching artwork. I admired your alliteration of "s's" and "w's" to add intensity. Best wishes in the haiku contest- Joan
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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Thank you for allowing us to thoroughly enjoy this scene by adding the matching artwork. I admired your alliteration of "s's" and "w's" to add intensity. Best wishes in the haiku contest- Joan
Comment Written 28-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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Thank you for your great comments, Joan.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made effective use of your seventeen syllables in this lovely, descriptive haiku. Your walk to the beach must be quite enjoyable. Good metaphor and lovely artwork
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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You have made effective use of your seventeen syllables in this lovely, descriptive haiku. Your walk to the beach must be quite enjoyable. Good metaphor and lovely artwork
Comment Written 28-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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Thank lyou for your lovely words, Janice.
Comment from Jen Seale
Very lovely haiku. I love how we start with the sun shining, presenting the grass leaves, and we end with the wind performing a hushing action. I'm a little unsure of what the wind is doing though. Are the wings the leaves of the grass? If the wind is picking up, the sound may be growing louder, which is the opposite of hushing, but probably sounds like hushing--so, there may be something there to work out. Perhaps also consider lowercasing your title to fit with the poem. Thanks for your work! -Jen
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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Very lovely haiku. I love how we start with the sun shining, presenting the grass leaves, and we end with the wind performing a hushing action. I'm a little unsure of what the wind is doing though. Are the wings the leaves of the grass? If the wind is picking up, the sound may be growing louder, which is the opposite of hushing, but probably sounds like hushing--so, there may be something there to work out. Perhaps also consider lowercasing your title to fit with the poem. Thanks for your work! -Jen
Comment Written 28-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much. In my imagination I see the wind is so taken by the tall seagrass leaves that it stop in its way-- it does not want to disturb the leaves. Does it makes sense?
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Ah! Yes, I can see it.
Comment from equestrik
This is a nicely written haiku and the painting goes perfectly with it. They are both soft and speak of peace, and harmony and nature. Very well done in a way that inspires that peace and harmony.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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This is a nicely written haiku and the painting goes perfectly with it. They are both soft and speak of peace, and harmony and nature. Very well done in a way that inspires that peace and harmony.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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Thank you for reading this haiku about seagrass.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a beautiful entry for the Haiku poetry writing prompt. I can see the sea grass in my mind's eye. I hope it does well in the contest. Best of luck to you!
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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This is a beautiful entry for the Haiku poetry writing prompt. I can see the sea grass in my mind's eye. I hope it does well in the contest. Best of luck to you!
Comment Written 28-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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Thank you for reading and commenting in this haiku.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku about the seagrass on the way to the beach standing tall while the sun shines on them and a breeze go through them with a whisper.
NS: I notice a few things here 1. The title should not be in the poem box. 2. The title should not have capitals and should be written as follow:. seagrass plentitude(haiku)
3. No punctuation in the poem.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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A very well-written haiku about the seagrass on the way to the beach standing tall while the sun shines on them and a breeze go through them with a whisper.
NS: I notice a few things here 1. The title should not be in the poem box. 2. The title should not have capitals and should be written as follow:. seagrass plentitude(haiku)
3. No punctuation in the poem.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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Thank you for reading this haiku and for your suggestions. All very well takeen and appreciated.
Comment from roof35
You followed the rules and penned an excellent Haiku. Your illustration, of course, pairs perfectly and sets the stage for your words. This is nicely done.
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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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You followed the rules and penned an excellent Haiku. Your illustration, of course, pairs perfectly and sets the stage for your words. This is nicely done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much for reading this haiku. Lovely comments.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Amada,
You've written a excellent haiku for the contest
with beautiful description of the seagrass.
Excellent connection and imagery in the first two lines
and very good expansive thought in the satori line.
The use of personification is subtle and in the satori,
I think it works well.
Usually the title (that fanstory requires) is not listed in the poem,
and is the first line of the haiku such as haiku (seagrass plenitude)
but that is a personal choice.
Very well done
Best wishes in the contest
Robert
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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Hello Amada,
You've written a excellent haiku for the contest
with beautiful description of the seagrass.
Excellent connection and imagery in the first two lines
and very good expansive thought in the satori line.
The use of personification is subtle and in the satori,
I think it works well.
Usually the title (that fanstory requires) is not listed in the poem,
and is the first line of the haiku such as haiku (seagrass plenitude)
but that is a personal choice.
Very well done
Best wishes in the contest
Robert
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2020
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Thank you Robert for reading this haiku. I am doing some of those changes you mention. Blessings for the suggestions. I hope it makes it a great haiku.