Evening Stroll
The wonders of discovery on a evening walk47 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your club challenge poem. Good job with the style. Your lines flow smoothly and create great imagery of the evening stroll. I could see everything as I read. The art is a good pairing, too. Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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I enjoyed your club challenge poem. Good job with the style. Your lines flow smoothly and create great imagery of the evening stroll. I could see everything as I read. The art is a good pairing, too. Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 25-May-2020
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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Jan, thank you!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Evening Stroll
by JLR
Hello my friend
Great entry for the Potlatch Poetry Trimeric challenge. I'm not familiar with the form but reading your author notes it looks like you did well.
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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Evening Stroll
by JLR
Hello my friend
Great entry for the Potlatch Poetry Trimeric challenge. I'm not familiar with the form but reading your author notes it looks like you did well.
Comment Written 25-May-2020
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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Thank you dear friend, have an amazing day,
Comment from damommy
You did a good job with this form, and the imagery was so vivid. I'm thinking you saw a pixie or something like it in the forest. I especially like these lines: "the last golden rays showered the mountain top shadows casting long tendrils into the fading light."
Well done.
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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You did a good job with this form, and the imagery was so vivid. I'm thinking you saw a pixie or something like it in the forest. I especially like these lines: "the last golden rays showered the mountain top shadows casting long tendrils into the fading light."
Well done.
Comment Written 25-May-2020
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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damommy, thank you so much!
Comment from joycetreasures
Hello JLR,
How nice is this poem about having an evening stroll. I am sitting right at this moment on my deck with hubby finishing up a wonderful meal. Now, to go for a stroll would the icing on the cake:-) This is a lovely written poem, sir. Yes, you can discover many new things on an evening stroll. Nicely written. Lovely artwork. Well-done.
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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Hello JLR,
How nice is this poem about having an evening stroll. I am sitting right at this moment on my deck with hubby finishing up a wonderful meal. Now, to go for a stroll would the icing on the cake:-) This is a lovely written poem, sir. Yes, you can discover many new things on an evening stroll. Nicely written. Lovely artwork. Well-done.
Comment Written 25-May-2020
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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Smiling back! Thank you..
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Amen. You are welcome.
Comment from Kenneth Gagne
I like the imagery in the first stanza, particularly "shadows casting long tendrils into the fading light." I also like how the image in the second stanza flows into the third ("[...]made me want to dance away to the point where the waning rays had ceased").
The line "Though I squeezed my eyes for every last ray" seems out of place after the first stanza. It doesn't make sense grammatically and gives the impression that it's an action that would normally not make the maiden smile, which I'm not sure is intentional.
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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I like the imagery in the first stanza, particularly "shadows casting long tendrils into the fading light." I also like how the image in the second stanza flows into the third ("[...]made me want to dance away to the point where the waning rays had ceased").
The line "Though I squeezed my eyes for every last ray" seems out of place after the first stanza. It doesn't make sense grammatically and gives the impression that it's an action that would normally not make the maiden smile, which I'm not sure is intentional.
Comment Written 25-May-2020
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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Have a good day!
Comment from richie b
JLR,
I enjoyed your poem, the imagery is stunning.
I love nature, gardens, blue skies and all that it
encompasses. Your poem checked all these boxes.
Your poem is well crafted, to add a fair maiden
among the flowers brings a smile to any male
reader. Thank you for sharing.
Blessings,
Richie b
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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JLR,
I enjoyed your poem, the imagery is stunning.
I love nature, gardens, blue skies and all that it
encompasses. Your poem checked all these boxes.
Your poem is well crafted, to add a fair maiden
among the flowers brings a smile to any male
reader. Thank you for sharing.
Blessings,
Richie b
Comment Written 25-May-2020
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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Smiling back! Thank you..
Comment from Margaret Bednar
I think you have spent an evening fading into night up here in the Appalachian Mountains! I adore the repeat lines in the Trimeric poetic style. I certainly was swept away as your words are very descriptive. Well penned.
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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I think you have spent an evening fading into night up here in the Appalachian Mountains! I adore the repeat lines in the Trimeric poetic style. I certainly was swept away as your words are very descriptive. Well penned.
Comment Written 25-May-2020
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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Thank you have a terrific day!
Comment from Amanda Louise Davis
This was lovely, but you messed up the last stanza by taking a line from the 2nd, not the 3rd. I loved the words, though. I think it was realy beautifully written.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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This was lovely, but you messed up the last stanza by taking a line from the 2nd, not the 3rd. I loved the words, though. I think it was realy beautifully written.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-May-2020
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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Thanks for your review
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your trimeric is skillfully and creatively written, vividly descriptive, and delightful. You have painted a gorgeous scenario, sunset ending with a bit of visual magic.
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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Your trimeric is skillfully and creatively written, vividly descriptive, and delightful. You have painted a gorgeous scenario, sunset ending with a bit of visual magic.
Comment Written 25-May-2020
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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Janive, thank you!
Comment from Teri7
This is a very interesting and well written poem in the Trimeric format. You used very good descriptive words and very good imagery from the art work you chose. Thank you for sharing. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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This is a very interesting and well written poem in the Trimeric format. You used very good descriptive words and very good imagery from the art work you chose. Thank you for sharing. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 25-May-2020
reply by the author on 28-May-2020
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Teri, may your day be filled with Joy and sunshine!