OMG I wrote a poetry book
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "I Learned it Watching John Wayne"A collection of award winning poems
51 total reviews
Comment from Bicpen
I think this one needs a bullet from big iron but as you say your not a poet its more in line with a day out with William Missouri whereby everything that walks or crawled gets killed. To be fair for a non poet you get top marks for trying rhyme and persistence. It is full of reference and with some knowledge and work in structure and form it could actually become the great western of this era ... starring you!!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
   |
I think this one needs a bullet from big iron but as you say your not a poet its more in line with a day out with William Missouri whereby everything that walks or crawled gets killed. To be fair for a non poet you get top marks for trying rhyme and persistence. It is full of reference and with some knowledge and work in structure and form it could actually become the great western of this era ... starring you!!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
-
With a three star rating could you give me some constructive advice
-
... well there are some simple metered poetry forms you could try to work with like the ballad formats 4/2, 4/3/. I think if I remember. You wouldn't really need a lot of reworking just some adequate restructuring with a more versatile form that would complement the story and the rhyme that you have chosen. The other way to do it would be to convert the poem into a free verse with a more metaphorical outlook but still keeping the content and ethos as intact as possible. With these ideas in mine Id like to think you could actually make it more accessible and deliverable as well as pleasing poetically. Like I said it could be a great western of this era ... just my thoughts.
Here's a wee taste of who shot you ... listen to it carefully its actually done in a ballad though I cant remember if 4/4/ or 4/3. lol . if we had a William Missouri I would have given you him.
-
Here's something I was just checking out ...This is based on big iron ...1st stanza could consist of as many syllables as you need to complete the line (BI was 14 syllables) Its rhyme scheme is four lines making the quatrain with 2nd and 4th rhyming (BI was AA BB rhyme scheme meaning the 1& 2 are the same 3&4 are the same) must be true rhyme. The fifth line is what we call the hanging line in poetry or as the ballad has it a shock refrain which is a repetition line. (BI was 5 syllables) This would complete your stanza and if a literary ballad it would consist of several of these telling your story. If you want to check it out look up literary ballad.
Comment from kiwijenny
I loved John Wayne...especially his goodness.
Well penned poem using his movie titles throughout
Great job. Who am I to tell you about meter...I'm a free verse
Gal
God bless
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
|
I loved John Wayne...especially his goodness.
Well penned poem using his movie titles throughout
Great job. Who am I to tell you about meter...I'm a free verse
Gal
God bless
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
-
Thank you very much. It was a fun write. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
I personally think this is absolutely wonderful. I love John Wayne, and you have done a great job. I have watched, many times over, all of the movies you mentioned, except maybe 'Big Trail'. I really like that you 'bolded' the names of these movies.
You actually gave me some history of John Wayne that I did not know (his early years).
I think you were very clever with your rhyme :) Good job!
This is a great contest entry! Best wishes!
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
|
I personally think this is absolutely wonderful. I love John Wayne, and you have done a great job. I have watched, many times over, all of the movies you mentioned, except maybe 'Big Trail'. I really like that you 'bolded' the names of these movies.
You actually gave me some history of John Wayne that I did not know (his early years).
I think you were very clever with your rhyme :) Good job!
This is a great contest entry! Best wishes!
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
-
Thank you very much. It was a fun write. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed this and read it for the content--not the meter, Mystery Author. Actually it read pretty smooth and was fun to read. I know some of the movies and have heard of the ones I haven't seen. I like the way you bolded the movie titles. I like your rhymes, too. This is a great contest entry. Best wishes. Jan
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
|
I enjoyed this and read it for the content--not the meter, Mystery Author. Actually it read pretty smooth and was fun to read. I know some of the movies and have heard of the ones I haven't seen. I like the way you bolded the movie titles. I like your rhymes, too. This is a great contest entry. Best wishes. Jan
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
-
Thank you very much Jan .It was a fun write. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Raul1
John Wayne was in a lot of movies. For sure that his movies were B-rating westerns. He was a great actor. In the late 70's he made his last film. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
|
John Wayne was in a lot of movies. For sure that his movies were B-rating westerns. He was a great actor. In the late 70's he made his last film. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
-
Thank you very much. It was a fun write. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
-
You're welcome
Comment from royowen
I do think that if anyone always played himself it was John Wayne. But I think his greatest film ever was not as a cowboy, but as a retired boxer who'd killed a man in the the ring. Playing opposite Maureen O'hara in the "Quiet man", I liked John Wayne, he was a "man's man". Beautifully and imaginatively written, great naming of films and despite self deprecation, I think you're alright, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
|
I do think that if anyone always played himself it was John Wayne. But I think his greatest film ever was not as a cowboy, but as a retired boxer who'd killed a man in the the ring. Playing opposite Maureen O'hara in the "Quiet man", I liked John Wayne, he was a "man's man". Beautifully and imaginatively written, great naming of films and despite self deprecation, I think you're alright, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
-
Thank you very much Roy.It was a fun write. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
-
Most welcome
Comment from Boogienights
I like this very much. I don't pay much attention to meter or structure in poetry, I just care about the content and your passion for John Wayne comes through. I am also a fan of his work. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
|
I like this very much. I don't pay much attention to meter or structure in poetry, I just care about the content and your passion for John Wayne comes through. I am also a fan of his work. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
-
Thank you very much. It was a fun write. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from susand3022
Nope... you can't rebuke the Duke! You've got that right Author! You are right about the meter in places and you did use what they call "slant rhymes" (you can just call them that instead of saying that they're forced this way it's perfectly acceptable... lol) When I was reading it I thought maybe it was a contest to write a poem using 10 movies with John Wayne, I was surprised! It's a really fun write! I like that you bolded the movie titles too :)
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
|
Nope... you can't rebuke the Duke! You've got that right Author! You are right about the meter in places and you did use what they call "slant rhymes" (you can just call them that instead of saying that they're forced this way it's perfectly acceptable... lol) When I was reading it I thought maybe it was a contest to write a poem using 10 movies with John Wayne, I was surprised! It's a really fun write! I like that you bolded the movie titles too :)
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
-
Thank you very much Susan. It was a fun write. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
I love John Wayne movies too. My favorite has to be McClintock, it was so funny. This is a bit off, but no one can go wrong writing about The Duke. =} Rox
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
|
I love John Wayne movies too. My favorite has to be McClintock, it was so funny. This is a bit off, but no one can go wrong writing about The Duke. =} Rox
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
-
Thank you very much Rox. It was a fun write. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from jaybird1
Well, I am a John Wayne fan from way back.You made this into a very
enjoyable read.I saw all the movies you listed, and more.This is worth
a six for me. Brought memories-Jaybird
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
 |
Well, I am a John Wayne fan from way back.You made this into a very
enjoyable read.I saw all the movies you listed, and more.This is worth
a six for me. Brought memories-Jaybird
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
-
Me too, I've seen many more of his movies than I was able to list, plus they had to be westerns. I appreciate the six star rating very much.