Reviews from

Summer Rain

A Rondeau for Potlatch

41 total reviews 
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love this Rondeau poem you've penned for the potlatch. I love the sound of the rain, especially big storms. When it rains, I want to hear the crashing thunder, lol.
Nice job on this. ~Kerry

 Comment Written 26-May-2018


reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    Me, too. I'm glad to see someone else does, too. Thank you for a great review.
reply by Kerry Foley Robinson on 05-Jun-2018
    :)) You're welcome, sorry for the late reply.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2018
    Not to worry. I don't keep score. 8-)
reply by Kerry Foley Robinson on 05-Jun-2018
    :))
Comment from kiwijenny
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Then suddenly the storm reprieves,
the trees no longer sway in heaves,
the heavy rainfall veils the skies.
No dribbling off the eaves.
I love your rhyme choices
Well penned
God bless

 Comment Written 26-May-2018


reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    Thank you so much. It was a fun form to write.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is beautiful. You describe a summer rain with such detail. It sounds like the kind of rain that I love. Growing in intensity until finally, it's a storm. Perfect.

 Comment Written 26-May-2018


reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    Oh, Thomas, thank you so much for this wonderful review. I'm glad to know you like rain, too. I wish it would rain every day. 8-)
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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Shades of last year's course being put to good use here I see though I wish you had been able to find a way round that "does" in line three. Apart from that this is well done and using the second half of line one with a contrary meaning is an excellent exploitation of the rondeau's rules.

 Comment Written 26-May-2018


reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    Thank you, Jim. That means a lot. Yes, I learned a lot in your classes. Every once in a while, I manage to put them to good use. 8-)

    sorry about the 'does.' I'll take a look at it.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Excellent
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"...vanish in the fog like thieves..." How evocative, and yes, exactly how it feels on those rainy days. I love this format, my friend, and you've used it well. The mood pervades this small poem, adding a sense of being there (and it's about to be that kind of day here shortly).

 Comment Written 26-May-2018


reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    It was that kind of day when I wrote this. I love rain. Thank you, Dawn, for such lovely comments.
reply by Dawn Munro on 26-May-2018
    You're most welcome.
Comment from Liberty Justice
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

AWESOME! Love what you did with your powerful verses that are so joyful and smooth. I love when it tains because rain beating against my windows is so soothing and cozy. Well written. Liberty justice

 Comment Written 26-May-2018


reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    I love rain, too. It could rain every day for my part. Thank you for a great review.
reply by Liberty Justice on 27-May-2018
    Check mine out, also. Thanks. liberty justice
Comment from Heather Knight
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love this form and I think you've done a great job here, Yvonne. I wish I could write this kind of poetry myself.
You've created a lovely image, I can almost smell and feel the rain.
Thanks.

 Comment Written 26-May-2018


reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    I'm so glad you could 'smell and feel the rain.' It makes it all worth it when a reader see what I intended. Thank you for this lovely review!
Comment from RodG
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A rondeau is such a challenging format because of the refrain and the very restrictive rhyme scheme. I am very impressed with the rhymes used in stanza one and the simile in line 5. What appeals to me most is how vividly you describe the rain pouring off those clogged gutters. Flawless iambic tetrameter and nice use of alliteration especially in the final stanza. A six-star winner for sure! Rod

 Comment Written 26-May-2018


reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    Thank you for this lovely review and the wonderful comments! I'm happy you think it's good, and can see what I tried to tell. Much appreciated.
reply by RodG on 26-May-2018
    My pleasure. You have inspired me to try to write one. Rod
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    Oh, good. I'll look for it.
Comment from Henry King
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is beautiful rhyming and rhythmic poem about rain. It is an excellent entry for the potlatch. The rhythm brings the feeling of rain and wind. The words permeate the air with the feeling of dampness. The rhyme, rhythm and words combined with the picture brings the poet's vision into sharp focus and touch on all our senses. Well done.

 Comment Written 26-May-2018


reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    Thank you so much. I appreciate your comments.
reply by Henry King on 26-May-2018
    You are welcome.
Comment from apky
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


What touched me most - and I'm not poet or an expert in how to write poems - were the excellent and evocation of your words:

Now water forms some silv'ry sleeves,
runs 'cross the ground. A channel cleaves
two ways to flow with valiant tries
until the storm meets its demise.
Pine needles lay in sodden sheaves.
No dribbling off the eaves.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 26-May-2018


reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    Thank you. That was my favorite part, too. I'm glad it brought a picture to your mind.