Retribution
A Chant Royal - see note below38 total reviews
Comment from Rasmine
This is the first I saw of this type of poem. I like it immensely. Your rhyme is superb, and I love the beat! It sounds Elizabethan; the same beat as a sonnet, I think.
Good job!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
  |
This is the first I saw of this type of poem. I like it immensely. Your rhyme is superb, and I love the beat! It sounds Elizabethan; the same beat as a sonnet, I think.
Good job!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
Very many thanks for your review and kind words, Rasmine. Appreciated! Yes, the poem is written in iambic pentameter with one or two minor variations, which is the meter of the sonnet and blank verse, both popular in Elizabethan times. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
I thought this a very clever piece of political satire disguised behind this splendidly pompous piece of French style verse.
Satire? Well, the piece opens with a version of John Donne line about for whom the bell tolls, as this bell is certainly tolling for someone, "This self-inflated potentate," perhaps. Now whom do we know who might fit that description. One who loves to blow his own trumpet. I would say.
Were we meant to make this connection? I can't believe it is an accident that this appears to be darling Donald coming in for some clever poetic stick.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
 |
I thought this a very clever piece of political satire disguised behind this splendidly pompous piece of French style verse.
Satire? Well, the piece opens with a version of John Donne line about for whom the bell tolls, as this bell is certainly tolling for someone, "This self-inflated potentate," perhaps. Now whom do we know who might fit that description. One who loves to blow his own trumpet. I would say.
Were we meant to make this connection? I can't believe it is an accident that this appears to be darling Donald coming in for some clever poetic stick.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
Many thanks for the perceptive review and sixth star. I have to admit that the Donald kept edging into the back of my mind as I was writing this! You are not the first to have made the connection!
Johnny Depp was recently lambasted for suggesting in a jocular aside that he might be persuaded to follow the example of John Wilkes Booth. Perhaps, under the circumstances, I should amend the fifth stanza or at least put a disclaimer in the notes!
Comment from Margaret Ford
Tony, this is a superior job of maintaining the rhymes and meter all the way through a lengthy poem. I read it several times, and to answer the poem's question: condemnation is more than fair for this fellow. I enjoyed reading your author's notes, as well, and feel inspired to try this form, myself. Best wishes -- Margaret
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
|
Tony, this is a superior job of maintaining the rhymes and meter all the way through a lengthy poem. I read it several times, and to answer the poem's question: condemnation is more than fair for this fellow. I enjoyed reading your author's notes, as well, and feel inspired to try this form, myself. Best wishes -- Margaret
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
Thanks for reviewing this one, Margaret, and for your kind words. I'm delighted that you thought it worthy of six stars. If you do have a go at one, you'll need to choose the d-rhyme carefully, for it occurs 18 times! Tony
-
18 times! Yikes! I hadn't counted, so thanks for the heads up. :/
Comment from Mustang Patty
thank you for sharing this well constructed Chant Royale. The poem flows so lovely and though it describes the bitter end of the main character, we are enlightened as to why he had to die.
Well done,
~patty~
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
|
thank you for sharing this well constructed Chant Royale. The poem flows so lovely and though it describes the bitter end of the main character, we are enlightened as to why he had to die.
Well done,
~patty~
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
Thanks for reviewing this one, Patty. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem tells of what most would be fair retribution for eternity you though it his right and duty to make others' lives a living hell. This tells what pride can do.
You used sombre (somber) twice. The second time you could use solemn.
This is a new form that looks very difficult. Yet you did it well.
Keep writing
dragoonpoet
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
|
This poem tells of what most would be fair retribution for eternity you though it his right and duty to make others' lives a living hell. This tells what pride can do.
You used sombre (somber) twice. The second time you could use solemn.
This is a new form that looks very difficult. Yet you did it well.
Keep writing
dragoonpoet
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
Thanks for reviewing this one, Joan, and for picking up the repetition. 'Solemn' won't do as an alternative, as I've used it a couple of lines earlier, but I have changed the second line of the poem to read 'hollow tone'. I appreciate your sharp eye! Tony
-
You're welcome. The change works well.
Joan
Comment from Jesse James Doty
You so skillfully put such effort into your work that I feel insecure and unable to review your stylish poem. The content I can relate to. The chant was a great way to say what so many of us are feeling inside. I hope your story comes true and he meets his retribution, but I see a lot of damage happening before he goes down. And, he won't go down easily. Like a drowning man, he will drag everyone that he can reach, to go down with him. These are sad and disturbing times we live in. You have brought to life the feelings of so many who are aghast at what he has and will accomplish while still 'King of the Hill.' Thank you for your effort and true words to help guide us on our way.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
|
You so skillfully put such effort into your work that I feel insecure and unable to review your stylish poem. The content I can relate to. The chant was a great way to say what so many of us are feeling inside. I hope your story comes true and he meets his retribution, but I see a lot of damage happening before he goes down. And, he won't go down easily. Like a drowning man, he will drag everyone that he can reach, to go down with him. These are sad and disturbing times we live in. You have brought to life the feelings of so many who are aghast at what he has and will accomplish while still 'King of the Hill.' Thank you for your effort and true words to help guide us on our way.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
Thanks for reviewing this one, Jesse, and for your kind words. I'm delighted that you thought it worthy of six stars. I wondered if anyone would make a connection with a current leader! Best wishes, Tony
-
I certainly made a connection, and I'm hoping many of your readers do too! You write so well, it is a pleasure to give you six stars.
Your friend, Jesse
Comment from lalajovanoski
Hello friend I really enjoyed reading this poem I think that it is nicely written and I think that the rhyming scheme flows very smoothly I like it because it's different great structure and flow thank you very much for sharing this God bless you love lolla
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
|
Hello friend I really enjoyed reading this poem I think that it is nicely written and I think that the rhyming scheme flows very smoothly I like it because it's different great structure and flow thank you very much for sharing this God bless you love lolla
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
Thanks for reviewing this one, Lolla, and for your kind words. I'm delighted that you enjoyed it. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from DR DIP
Now THAT my friend is how you write beautiful poetry. I read this out aloud 3 times much to my wife's annoyance sitting in the adjoining lounge room lol
I read it 3 ways. I read it as the great orator would read it I read it as if I was Orson Wells, I read it as if I was Shakespeare and everyone of them read great...Bloody hell I'm a great orator!! haha
seriously T, this is a masterpiece of writing and I love the rhyme scheme Thanks for sharing.
dip
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
|
Now THAT my friend is how you write beautiful poetry. I read this out aloud 3 times much to my wife's annoyance sitting in the adjoining lounge room lol
I read it 3 ways. I read it as the great orator would read it I read it as if I was Orson Wells, I read it as if I was Shakespeare and everyone of them read great...Bloody hell I'm a great orator!! haha
seriously T, this is a masterpiece of writing and I love the rhyme scheme Thanks for sharing.
dip
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
My apologies to your long-suffering wife! Perhaps I should beg for an MP3 from you, to attach to the poem!
Joking apart, I very much appreciate your kind words and award of six stars
-
she's deaf