Grammy's Memoirs 2018
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "A Defining Moment"Bits and pieces of my life for my grandchildren
44 total reviews
Comment from nuthead
This is the start of a cathartic journey for you. I understand the feeling of shame associated with certain past events. I applaud you for taking this step.
I didn't notice anything needing editing.
A murder of innocence is a powerful statement.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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This is the start of a cathartic journey for you. I understand the feeling of shame associated with certain past events. I applaud you for taking this step.
I didn't notice anything needing editing.
A murder of innocence is a powerful statement.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. Your comments and words of encouragement are greatly appreciated. I am honored to have my FanStory family along for the journey,
~patty~
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
I now have an idea of what must have been said. For years, my mind simply wouldn't let me recall the conversation. I have a blank space instead of a memory. A dark hole that would cause me grief for years to come. I still try to hear the voices or see the faces that were there. I ended up at school, so I had to finish walking those few blocks to get there. I must have met my new teacher - although I can't remember that, either. It's all just one big blank.
The little girl that sat in that hallway, with her teacher's raincoat held closed, was broken. Something terrible had taken place. A tragic word had been uttered. Her mind couldn't accept it, and she ran far away. Receding into the dark recesses of her brain, the little girl that was, ceased to exist.'
I cried reading this because of your horrible pain and because I suffer from PTMS and only recalled my sex abuse at seven in small fragments. At one point I remembered just a moment. I think you are so brave and wise and fantastic for putting this great write up. I wish I had a six. This is phenomenal.x
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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I now have an idea of what must have been said. For years, my mind simply wouldn't let me recall the conversation. I have a blank space instead of a memory. A dark hole that would cause me grief for years to come. I still try to hear the voices or see the faces that were there. I ended up at school, so I had to finish walking those few blocks to get there. I must have met my new teacher - although I can't remember that, either. It's all just one big blank.
The little girl that sat in that hallway, with her teacher's raincoat held closed, was broken. Something terrible had taken place. A tragic word had been uttered. Her mind couldn't accept it, and she ran far away. Receding into the dark recesses of her brain, the little girl that was, ceased to exist.'
I cried reading this because of your horrible pain and because I suffer from PTMS and only recalled my sex abuse at seven in small fragments. At one point I remembered just a moment. I think you are so brave and wise and fantastic for putting this great write up. I wish I had a six. This is phenomenal.x
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Hi Meia; thank you so much for your comments on this chapter. I am so sorry that you can identify with the story - it is one that is all too common. I so appreciate the virtual six - it means a great deal coming from you.
Hang in there, and we'll heal together,
~patty~
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Yes, he did murder your innocence. You are fortunate you were spared the abuse your sister endured Patty. It is difficult to understand how a father could see his daughter in that light. Usually they try to preserve their innocence. You rose above it all. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Yes, he did murder your innocence. You are fortunate you were spared the abuse your sister endured Patty. It is difficult to understand how a father could see his daughter in that light. Usually they try to preserve their innocence. You rose above it all. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Hi Nancy; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your comments and words of encouragement. I wish things had gone as well for my sister. She's never had any professional help, and she is still crippled by feelings of guilt and shame.
~patty~
Comment from jusylee72
Patty, You did it. You opened the door. You are on your way to understanding the hurt little girl you are. This is a wonderful, awful story. It has to be told. It has to be released. Your descriptions of what you were wearing, the shoes that pinched, all the blame you gave yourself. Convinced he was a murderer, realizing he was a murderer of innocence. The painful fact that he came back into your life. The control this evil man had- this evil man that you also loved. The shame is his but you wear it like a mandatory prayer cloth from some religion that is forced upon you. You have touched me deeply, not because I experienced the same pain, but because so many children do. I too have deep pain written with a different story line and it engulfs me. But every time I release it in writing, my soul brightens. Please read my recent poem Powerline, not because I want admiration, but because you have touched me deeply. I want you to know that if you truly write your story, I will be the first to buy it. Sincerely, Judy (jusylee72)
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Patty, You did it. You opened the door. You are on your way to understanding the hurt little girl you are. This is a wonderful, awful story. It has to be told. It has to be released. Your descriptions of what you were wearing, the shoes that pinched, all the blame you gave yourself. Convinced he was a murderer, realizing he was a murderer of innocence. The painful fact that he came back into your life. The control this evil man had- this evil man that you also loved. The shame is his but you wear it like a mandatory prayer cloth from some religion that is forced upon you. You have touched me deeply, not because I experienced the same pain, but because so many children do. I too have deep pain written with a different story line and it engulfs me. But every time I release it in writing, my soul brightens. Please read my recent poem Powerline, not because I want admiration, but because you have touched me deeply. I want you to know that if you truly write your story, I will be the first to buy it. Sincerely, Judy (jusylee72)
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Hi Judy; thank you so much for your words. I appreciate you sharing with me, and I will go and read Powerline. I have received a great deal of encouragement to share my story - and I will. You are so right; opening this door is helping to heal that little girl that ran away so long ago,
~patty~
Comment from c_lucas
The abuser have a few minutes of pleasure. The abused has a life time of bad memories. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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The abuser have a few minutes of pleasure. The abused has a life time of bad memories. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. This is going to be a defining write for me. I'm glad you have come along for the ride,
~patty~
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Patty, it saddened me to read this. You had too many burdens to carry as a child - but there should be no guilt/shame since you were not the one who did wrong. I applaud you for being so brave in writing this
and I myself feel privileged that you've shared it with me.
Blessings,
Margaret
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Patty, it saddened me to read this. You had too many burdens to carry as a child - but there should be no guilt/shame since you were not the one who did wrong. I applaud you for being so brave in writing this
and I myself feel privileged that you've shared it with me.
Blessings,
Margaret
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Hi Margaret; thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. This was a tough thing to post. I don't think I've ever shared this story in a public forum. I do feel better by letting the words go,
~patty~
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
So many children suffered from this atrocity, and so many men get away with it. The shame is theirs, you have done nothing to be ashamed of, nor has your mother or sister. That man will get his punishment, perhaps not in this life. I think you are doing a wonderful thing writing about it, not only will it be therapeutic for you, it will help others on here who have suffered as well. I will continue to read your memoirs with interest, well done, my friend. I think you are a brave and wonderful lady. xx Sandra
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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So many children suffered from this atrocity, and so many men get away with it. The shame is theirs, you have done nothing to be ashamed of, nor has your mother or sister. That man will get his punishment, perhaps not in this life. I think you are doing a wonderful thing writing about it, not only will it be therapeutic for you, it will help others on here who have suffered as well. I will continue to read your memoirs with interest, well done, my friend. I think you are a brave and wonderful lady. xx Sandra
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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thank you so much for reading this piece. I greatly appreciate your comments and words of encouragement. Thank you for reading along, and for following the future chapters,
~patty~
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You are very welcome, my friend, my pleasure.
Comment from mbroyles2
I admire and applaud your courage in writing about this painful event in your life.
These type of ordeals can mold us and effect our lives constantly. It sounds like you have rebounded nicely.
Excellent writing!
Michael
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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I admire and applaud your courage in writing about this painful event in your life.
These type of ordeals can mold us and effect our lives constantly. It sounds like you have rebounded nicely.
Excellent writing!
Michael
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Hi Michael; thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate your kind word of encouragement. I'm a much stronger person for having lived through and overcoming this,
~patty~
Comment from Thomas Bowling
What a tragedy. Too many lives, both young and older are destroyed by this evil crime. My niece suffered in silence at the hands of an evil stepfather.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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What a tragedy. Too many lives, both young and older are destroyed by this evil crime. My niece suffered in silence at the hands of an evil stepfather.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Hi Thomas; thank you so much for reading and commenting on this piece of my life. I've never shared this story in a public forum, so this was a difficult write for me. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement,
~patty~
Comment from MelB
Patty, I'm so terribly sorry to read this. I was 8 when it happened to me, but it was my older half-brother. I too had PTSD, and so much shame and guilt. Way too many burdens for a child to carry. I went through counseling 7 years ago, and got complete healing. I went back to school and became a counselor after that. The shame is not on you or with you, it is on the one who did it. If you ever need to talk, feel free to contact me. You are brave, and I'm so glad you are telling this story. Stats say 1 in 3 girls are sexually abused by the time they are 18. That means, this will help many who have no voice to tell their own story.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Patty, I'm so terribly sorry to read this. I was 8 when it happened to me, but it was my older half-brother. I too had PTSD, and so much shame and guilt. Way too many burdens for a child to carry. I went through counseling 7 years ago, and got complete healing. I went back to school and became a counselor after that. The shame is not on you or with you, it is on the one who did it. If you ever need to talk, feel free to contact me. You are brave, and I'm so glad you are telling this story. Stats say 1 in 3 girls are sexually abused by the time they are 18. That means, this will help many who have no voice to tell their own story.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Hi Mel; thank you so much for reading and commenting. I appreciate you sharing your story with me. I have spent a great deal of time in therapy, but I've never written a piece like this to be shared in a public forum. The task was a bit daunting, but I'm doing okay, and I'm pretty sure the healing will continue,
~patty~
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It does help. I wrote my whole story in a novel. I haven't published it yet, but I hope to.