haiku suite--burning warehouse traps
Haiku Club Challenge # 1 fire76 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
I didn't count syllables, just read this as a poem with three line stanzas, and it
gave me an excellent look at a great loss, and a sad precedent, that artists must
retire to dangerous settings...
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
  |
I didn't count syllables, just read this as a poem with three line stanzas, and it
gave me an excellent look at a great loss, and a sad precedent, that artists must
retire to dangerous settings...
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
-
Yes, LIJ Red, these artists on the fringe sometimes pride themselves for living under the radar. Of the thirty-six people who died, only one lived at the warehouse. The other thirty-five were guests of a music show. When the smoke rose and the lights went off, and the wooden pallet staircase collapsed, they could not get out. Thank you for your review of my haiku suite that "gave me an excellent look at a great loss."
Comment from Leineco
This series of haiku are a compelling journey SC
we follow the remains and the wake of their impact
through succinct imagery and progression from
cremation, through mourning. to memorial and finally
to acknowledging/accepting emptiness we feel at the
loss of their once earthly presence.
Beautifully done SC
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
|
This series of haiku are a compelling journey SC
we follow the remains and the wake of their impact
through succinct imagery and progression from
cremation, through mourning. to memorial and finally
to acknowledging/accepting emptiness we feel at the
loss of their once earthly presence.
Beautifully done SC
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
-
Yes, Leineco, "This series of haiku are a compelling journey." Your review is spot on in describing this suite. Thank you for your review of a "beautifully done" haiku suite.
Comment from Irish Rain
Just wonderful, all of these, my favorites are the first, 'burning warehouse traps' and the fifth, 'sputtering candles'...these two catch all the sorrow. Blessings...
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
|
Just wonderful, all of these, my favorites are the first, 'burning warehouse traps' and the fifth, 'sputtering candles'...these two catch all the sorrow. Blessings...
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
-
Yes, Irish Rain, standing before the warehouse last Wednesday I could not help but to think of the last moments of the people who died. "Sputtering candles" crowded the sidewalk in front of the ruins. Thank you for your review.
Comment from jlsavell
Dear Sis Cat,
You truly are one of the most talented writers which grace this site. I could only hope to emulate.
I am take by this fine sweet of haiku. Exceptional, though I am not a haiku expert.
As I leave, you are going to be one of the many truly fine artist and friend, who Ibwill miss immensely. Immensely.
Your speedy recognition on this site is well deserved. This work is truly a work pf art,. The stunning imagery and its emotive quality is top notch.
Your friend and fan alwaya
Jimi
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
 |
Dear Sis Cat,
You truly are one of the most talented writers which grace this site. I could only hope to emulate.
I am take by this fine sweet of haiku. Exceptional, though I am not a haiku expert.
As I leave, you are going to be one of the many truly fine artist and friend, who Ibwill miss immensely. Immensely.
Your speedy recognition on this site is well deserved. This work is truly a work pf art,. The stunning imagery and its emotive quality is top notch.
Your friend and fan alwaya
Jimi
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
-
Jimi, thank you for your generous, six star review and congratulations on my recognition. As you are leaving, I will sorely miss you, too. You have been an inspiration to me and a great encouragement. Please keep writing wherever you go. The world need's to hear your voice and your talent.
Peace and God Bless,
Andre
Comment from BeasPeas
You've composed a well written haiku suite here. It centers around the warehouse fire where so many lives were lost recently. Each haiku is jarring and straightforward to relate the impact of the fire to the reader. Your photo and presentation affirm the tragedy. Marilyn
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
|
You've composed a well written haiku suite here. It centers around the warehouse fire where so many lives were lost recently. Each haiku is jarring and straightforward to relate the impact of the fire to the reader. Your photo and presentation affirm the tragedy. Marilyn
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
-
Yes, Marilyn, I am glad I visited the ruins for a second time. I have gotten all that I can from visiting the site. Now I am looking forward to giving back far beyond the warehouse. I am performing my poems at a benefit reading tomorrow and donating money to the families of the victims. Some cannot afford to bury their dead.
Thank you for your review. I am glad you found that "Each haiku is jarring and straightforward to relate the impact of the fire to the reader."
-
Good for you--performing your poetry and getting yourself out there. I admire that. From time to time I take part in readings and slams. We all do what we can. Merry Christmas. Marilyn
Comment from angel123
I enjoyed reading your Haiku suite poems. Your story within the poems is sad and dramatic. The intensity of your story is well written and your artwork choice goes well with your poems
angel 123
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
|
I enjoyed reading your Haiku suite poems. Your story within the poems is sad and dramatic. The intensity of your story is well written and your artwork choice goes well with your poems
angel 123
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
-
Yes, angel123, that is my photo I took of the interior of the Ghost Ship when I visited last Wednesday. I did not know it at the time, but other things I noticed around there--the smell, the candles, the poinsettias--would end up in a haiku suite days later. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Nika2016
Sad haiku...burning embers
of lives now lost...
This incident touched you
deeply as this is your
second poem on the
subject...Always sad
when senseless death
happens...
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
|
Sad haiku...burning embers
of lives now lost...
This incident touched you
deeply as this is your
second poem on the
subject...Always sad
when senseless death
happens...
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
-
Yes, Nika2016, I did not expect or planned to write this haiku suite. I visited the ruins Wednesday to take pictures for a friend who wanted to make a collage from my pictures. When Dean announced a haiku challenge on the theme of fire, I naturally thought about what I saw, felt, smelled, and thought at the ruins. This haiku suite is a series of impressions. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Fridayauthor
Excellent tribute to this very sad event. Beautifully worded with some thought-provoking segments. The reference to the poinsettia was especially poignant.
Thank you for this lovely posting.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
|
Excellent tribute to this very sad event. Beautifully worded with some thought-provoking segments. The reference to the poinsettia was especially poignant.
Thank you for this lovely posting.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
-
Yes, Fridayauthor, I remember standing in front of the ruins last Wednesday, looking at the poinsettias, and thinking, "There are families who will not spend Christmas with loved ones this year." I took a picture and wrote this poem. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Janet Foor
An horrific tragedy with unmeasurable repercussions.
Your haiku suite could certainly stand as individual but add additional strength when posted together.
Very well done and your picture added a concrete connection.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
|
An horrific tragedy with unmeasurable repercussions.
Your haiku suite could certainly stand as individual but add additional strength when posted together.
Very well done and your picture added a concrete connection.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
-
Thank you, Janet, for your review of my haiku suite of "An horrific tragedy with unmeasurable repercussions."
Comment from Bill O'Bier
The Dec. 2 fire at the Ghost Ship warehouse in Oakland killed 36 people during an underground electronic music show, becoming the deadliest structure fire in California since the 1906 earthquake and fire which killed hundreds in San Francisco. Thanks for this poetic remembrance.
Bill~
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
|
The Dec. 2 fire at the Ghost Ship warehouse in Oakland killed 36 people during an underground electronic music show, becoming the deadliest structure fire in California since the 1906 earthquake and fire which killed hundreds in San Francisco. Thanks for this poetic remembrance.
Bill~
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
-
Thank you, Bill, for your reivew. I much appreciate it.
