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Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Chapter One part Drei"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

35 total reviews 
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara, great continuation to the story and it does indeed seem like she's hit jackpot with Anderson aka Mr Sharp. Love the story so far and wondering where it's going. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2016


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2016
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mastery
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi, Barbara. This story is getting more intriguing by the chapter.

I noticed you are using longer paragraphs...GOOD! They allow for much more detail. Like this:

"Anderson took a deep breath. "I understand. I'm a stranger, but you helped yourself into my car. You were more scared of those men than a total stranger. You brought me into this mess. I'm trying to help until you fly home. I have no other motive." His eyes met hers. After a silence, he let go of her hand, "I'm done," and began to walk away.

And: " "Not the normal reaction I get from women, but I guess it's honest." Anderson chuckled. "They should leave soon." He glanced over her shoulder toward the hotel. "They're standing around probably trying to figure out what do next. It shouldn't be much longer. Once they leave, we can go to my car."

Good job, my friend. I will be awaiting the next installment. Blessings. Bob

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2016


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2016
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes, Shana has managed to avoid the three men who were chasing her, but from where I sit, I might be willing to bet she's in a far more seriously situation with Mr. Sharp. Or at least one that might last longer. Thanks for another fine chapter. :-)

I don't usually bother with pointing out things that I'm sure you will catch on your own, later. But these were such simple things, and one of them may already be to your own preference. Anyway, just trying to be helpful, not critical.

(add)
>>They're standing around probably trying to figure out what (to) do next.

>> What times your flight? [What time is your flight?- or - What time's your flight?]

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2016


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2016
    I will make those corrections. Thank you for the help.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It looks like poor Shana's got herself into a pickle Barbara, why exactly the men are chasing her is not certain, but With nowhere safe to go, she is unceremoniously whisked off with Anderson. Who has his own personal lift, probably wealthy, I'd say, well done, well written, blessings, Roy
Typo : what time(')s your flight.

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 Comment Written 20-Nov-2016


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2016
    I will add that '. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by royowen on 21-Nov-2016
    Most welcome
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great chapter, my friend! Poor Shana seems between a rock and a hard spot. She can't really go back to her hotel, but now she has to trust the stranger with a Jaguar... hmmm, can't be all bad if he drives a Jag!

Have a wonderful week,
Rhonda

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 Comment Written 20-Nov-2016


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2016
    Thank you for the kind review and support.