Not Sure Yet
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Strange Showers"Free verse poems
37 total reviews
Comment from mfowler
As a resident in a city on the edge of constant summer fire threat, I can empathise with your situation and the frustration with the bugs that led to this write. It's a lovely haibun, yet a difficult topic. Firstly you've had to enter the mind of the twisted firebug; interpret motivation and feelings. Not easy when you're the polar opposite in practice and nature. The combination of tight short sentence, internal dialogue, and fine descriptive phrasing gives a great impression of what might be happening from his perspective. The supportive haibun combines the essence of fire and the intense egocentricity of the firelighter. Fine piece.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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As a resident in a city on the edge of constant summer fire threat, I can empathise with your situation and the frustration with the bugs that led to this write. It's a lovely haibun, yet a difficult topic. Firstly you've had to enter the mind of the twisted firebug; interpret motivation and feelings. Not easy when you're the polar opposite in practice and nature. The combination of tight short sentence, internal dialogue, and fine descriptive phrasing gives a great impression of what might be happening from his perspective. The supportive haibun combines the essence of fire and the intense egocentricity of the firelighter. Fine piece.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Yes, I am the polar opposite of these horrible fire bugs...I used to be a wildland fire fighter so I take it a bit personally. These days I forecast the weather, and talk to the fire fighters on the phone. They are amazing people. I tend to have emotion wrapped into my work, as you probably can tell!
Carol
Comment from Nika2016
Excellent prose...excellent haibun. I cannot imagine a person who would destroy beauty. Wildfires raged in Altadena the last time I visited California....tongues of fire reaching down the foothills.
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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Excellent prose...excellent haibun. I cannot imagine a person who would destroy beauty. Wildfires raged in Altadena the last time I visited California....tongues of fire reaching down the foothills.
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Comment Written 24-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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It's going to be a bad fire season here - is already. :(
Carol
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Awesome photo! Awesome haibun! I really hope they catch the vile person/s doing this. Lock 'em up for life, without parole. This is mass murder of nature and property and possibly lives. Sickening. But very well done. :)
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Awesome photo! Awesome haibun! I really hope they catch the vile person/s doing this. Lock 'em up for life, without parole. This is mass murder of nature and property and possibly lives. Sickening. But very well done. :)
Comment Written 24-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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They did catch the guy who was setting fires last week, but haven't figured this one out yet. It might have been someone who ran his car off the road and ended up being killed by the fire. The only fatality so far.
Carol
Comment from Hayley Solomon
Very interesting, eerily evocative yet I must admit I have missed some of the sense. However, the words work well together, the capitalisation gives sense of urgency. I almost thought you were talking about a nuclear detonation, especially given last three lines (which were very good.)
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Very interesting, eerily evocative yet I must admit I have missed some of the sense. However, the words work well together, the capitalisation gives sense of urgency. I almost thought you were talking about a nuclear detonation, especially given last three lines (which were very good.)
Comment Written 24-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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if you could see the videos of this fire (it's all over twitter - #Sandfire) it looks very apocalyptic. It is a huge, scary fire!
Carol
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Carol
= Goodness, there have been far too many fires.
= We've had quite a few here in Arizona as well.
= This is an excellent haibun for the challenge.
= Too bad it is based on reality. Just don't understand peeps who start fires.
= They definitely have a short circuit to want to see such devastation.
= You job can't be easy a times.
(*<*) A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-Down (*>*)
Cheers & Blessings ... Jacqueline ~ Jackie ~ Jax
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Hi, Carol
= Goodness, there have been far too many fires.
= We've had quite a few here in Arizona as well.
= This is an excellent haibun for the challenge.
= Too bad it is based on reality. Just don't understand peeps who start fires.
= They definitely have a short circuit to want to see such devastation.
= You job can't be easy a times.
(*<*) A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-Down (*>*)
Cheers & Blessings ... Jacqueline ~ Jackie ~ Jax
Comment Written 24-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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The job has been busy the last 2-3 days, for sure. It's kind of fun in a way, but yesterday I felt a lot of anxiety about the wildlife refuge in the path of the fire. Thankfully the animals are safe now due to a wind shift!!!
Carol
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Carol,
You did an amazing job. The description of the idiot who started thee, or any, fire is horrific. Why would one do that? It breaks my heart for the loss of life both humans & wildlife. Your description of this pyromaniac's act is awesome although scary. I have seen volcanoes on the Weather Channel making their own weather & some fires as you describe doing the same. Your ending poem is great. I am no expert with either haiku/senryu, but yours seems to be in good form. The syllable count is good and you do have the short/long/short format.
Good job & thanks for sharing. Stay safe. Jan.
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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Carol,
You did an amazing job. The description of the idiot who started thee, or any, fire is horrific. Why would one do that? It breaks my heart for the loss of life both humans & wildlife. Your description of this pyromaniac's act is awesome although scary. I have seen volcanoes on the Weather Channel making their own weather & some fires as you describe doing the same. Your ending poem is great. I am no expert with either haiku/senryu, but yours seems to be in good form. The syllable count is good and you do have the short/long/short format.
Good job & thanks for sharing. Stay safe. Jan.
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Comment Written 24-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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I really cannot understand the people who do this sort of thing - makes me feel crazy. I used to be a wildland fire fighter myself so I have seen the destruction firsthand.
Thanks so much, Jan,
Carol
Comment from michaelcahill
This is just super. Darn. I didn't think of this at all. Nothing occurred to me but WATER. LOL There's all kinds of rain, yes? Awesome imagery throughout this and it's not close to home, it is home: The Antelope Valley. I don't even want to see the video of some idiot actually setting fires here. Wow! I'm a fan of personification in short form so I see the scene totally in your end piece though you may get some flack for it. LOL This was stellar, outside the box excellence. mikey
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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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This is just super. Darn. I didn't think of this at all. Nothing occurred to me but WATER. LOL There's all kinds of rain, yes? Awesome imagery throughout this and it's not close to home, it is home: The Antelope Valley. I don't even want to see the video of some idiot actually setting fires here. Wow! I'm a fan of personification in short form so I see the scene totally in your end piece though you may get some flack for it. LOL This was stellar, outside the box excellence. mikey
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Comment Written 24-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
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Yeah, I know it's very close to you!! You're probably sick of breathing smoke right now. I haven't gotten any flack for the ending 5-7-5, which I did expect. Well, you never know!
Carol
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A great discussion going on in the Challenges forum. Finally some info that isn't confined to Fanstory basics. LOL
Yep, it's smokey here. Awesome sunsets though.
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Containment is up to 25% so that's good.