Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Excellent. This is a lovely picture and a well written poem. My mother never had a vase in her life. She put bouquets of flowers in fruit jars or whatever was available. I still use fruit jars for my flowers.

 Comment Written 26-May-2016

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reply by the author on 26-May-2016

Hi prettybluebirds. Yes coffee jar, fruit jars really anything can display beautiful flowers I just loved the simplicity of this image and thought I would use it for this contest. Many thanks for your review Cheers

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Nice image.
-Flowers are beautiful.
-Thanks for the author notes.
-I agree that they don't need a fancy vase.
-Good syllable count and imagery.
-Satori is good.
-The one thing missing is grammatical connection between two lines.

 Comment Written 26-May-2016

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reply by the author on 26-May-2016

Hi Respa1 Thank you very much for your feedback and suggestion I have since corrected this from another simiilar review and do so appreciate everyones help. I hope this is now correct. Many Cheers to you

reply by Pam (respa) on 26-May-2016

You are very welcome. I checked your poem, and it looks very good. Good luck and cheers to you, too:)

reply by the author on 26-May-2016

Thanks respa1 for your reply and cheers to you

reply by Pam (respa) on 26-May-2016

You are quite welcome:)

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

This is a fine entry for the contest
Exact syllables at 5-7-5
Excellent imagery in the flowers/coffee jar
but you need grammatical connection
One way is to move "in" as follows:

flowers on display
in coffee jar arrangement
Nescafe gold blend

This keeps all your original words,
otherwise you can rewrite if you prefer

The third line satori comment is very good
as well as the matching picture
Well done
Good luck in the contest




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 Comment Written 26-May-2016

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reply by the author on 26-May-2016

Hi rspoet Thanks for your suggestion and I will use this. I had used the words 'arranged in coffee jar' but then changed it to arrangement to get the extra syllable so I think I was on the right track but I like your suggestion also . Cheers

reply by rspoet on 26-May-2016

You are most welcome. Good luck!

reply by the author on 26-May-2016

thank you

Comment from Emily George

Excellent

Great use of words and the Nescafe Gold Blend, label, kind of compliments the gold tones in the rose! Makes me want to brew a cuppa and sit and look at those flowers.
The background and font are very complimentary, to your verse.

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 Comment Written 26-May-2016

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reply by the author on 26-May-2016

Hi Emily. Thank you so much for your encouraging words and go have that coffee. I am glad this worked wasn't sure but appreciate your feedback and time Cheers