Syria 2016
A Triolet for the contest45 total reviews
Comment from krys123
Hi Tony;
-I really like your triolet poem very much and in I like it strong convictions of all the armaments being supplied by everyone else outside of the country who call themselves friends of Syria.
-everything is met including the requirements of this writing.
- the pictures very appropriate, relative and supportive to the meeting and conceptual theme of the writing.
-the rhyming was done very well and very supportive and contingent to the meaning and concept of each of all of the lines which made your rhythm to flow smoothly.
- each of your rhyming words were not forced or labored which was also helpful in the reading.
- the rhythmic meter being iambic tetrameter and the cadence and timing were helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
- good luck in the contest and may the good Lord be with you always Tony.
Alex
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Hi Tony;
-I really like your triolet poem very much and in I like it strong convictions of all the armaments being supplied by everyone else outside of the country who call themselves friends of Syria.
-everything is met including the requirements of this writing.
- the pictures very appropriate, relative and supportive to the meeting and conceptual theme of the writing.
-the rhyming was done very well and very supportive and contingent to the meaning and concept of each of all of the lines which made your rhythm to flow smoothly.
- each of your rhyming words were not forced or labored which was also helpful in the reading.
- the rhythmic meter being iambic tetrameter and the cadence and timing were helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
- good luck in the contest and may the good Lord be with you always Tony.
Alex
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Thank you, Alex. It is a tragic state of affairs. Thank you for your comments, both about the situation and about my poem. Best wishes, Tony
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again you are so welcome Tony.
Alex
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Tony,
This is a great presentation. The picture is perfect-so haunting [she is a cutie and to think that war is probably all she has known in her short life].
Your repeating lines fit in seamlessly. Good job with enjambment. Your lines flow smoothly and give the readers so much to think about [and that is good].
I believe war is a business for many countries/people.
Good job and best wishes in the contest. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Tony,
This is a great presentation. The picture is perfect-so haunting [she is a cutie and to think that war is probably all she has known in her short life].
Your repeating lines fit in seamlessly. Good job with enjambment. Your lines flow smoothly and give the readers so much to think about [and that is good].
I believe war is a business for many countries/people.
Good job and best wishes in the contest. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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I think you are right. The arms business is big business - and a particularly evil business, too - profiting from death and destruction.
Comment from Taffspride
A very worthy entry for the contest. Your topic is very hot at the moment.
When will it all end, I guess not until we have less greed corruption, from power hungry leaders. Supplying weapons cannot be and will never be the answer,
Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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A very worthy entry for the contest. Your topic is very hot at the moment.
When will it all end, I guess not until we have less greed corruption, from power hungry leaders. Supplying weapons cannot be and will never be the answer,
Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Greed, corruption and power - that just about says it all! Sadly, I don't see that changing very much either.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I would say it was the worst war for the innocents that have suffered so much. They have not only lost their homes, but their country as well. Your poem, and your authors notes, are so sad, why do we do such things, why give weapons when we know from experience what will happen? This is excellent Tony, Good luck in the contest. Your poem is perfect. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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I would say it was the worst war for the innocents that have suffered so much. They have not only lost their homes, but their country as well. Your poem, and your authors notes, are so sad, why do we do such things, why give weapons when we know from experience what will happen? This is excellent Tony, Good luck in the contest. Your poem is perfect. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Many thanks, Sandra. Why indeed? Greed, corruption and power are the usual answers. Nothing much changes in that regard.
Comment from Pantygynt
Apart from the content, with which I wholeheartedly concur, you have mastered the art of the triolet, mainly through altering the punctuation at key points along with some well thought out enjambment. I don't think I have ever written one of these things with which I could say I was even half-way satisfied. They are frighteningly hard to do really well.
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Apart from the content, with which I wholeheartedly concur, you have mastered the art of the triolet, mainly through altering the punctuation at key points along with some well thought out enjambment. I don't think I have ever written one of these things with which I could say I was even half-way satisfied. They are frighteningly hard to do really well.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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An absurd form really. I suppose that one can just about get away with it in a song - but three repetitions in a poem? I only wrote it for a chance at the money! Fat chance! Ha!
Comment from I am Cat
It's so true... I was just saying that on another poem, of Barb's... where she said,
rows and rows of crosses, go on for miles and miles... and it's true...
no matter how many fight, for how long, it seems destined to continue...
how many must die and mostly in the name of what? religion? oil? territory? old ideas? who knows.... well done Tony, with great thought and depth of ideas...
I wish you great success in the contest
cat
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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It's so true... I was just saying that on another poem, of Barb's... where she said,
rows and rows of crosses, go on for miles and miles... and it's true...
no matter how many fight, for how long, it seems destined to continue...
how many must die and mostly in the name of what? religion? oil? territory? old ideas? who knows.... well done Tony, with great thought and depth of ideas...
I wish you great success in the contest
cat
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Many thanks, Cat. A hot topic at the moment. Gloria wrote a marvellous poem on the subject a day or two ago.
Comment from Douglas Paul
This a well written, thought-provoking and disturbing poem. We surely have the knack for messing up our world and causing wanton death and destruction. Your authors note were very informative
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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This a well written, thought-provoking and disturbing poem. We surely have the knack for messing up our world and causing wanton death and destruction. Your authors note were very informative
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Thanks, Douglas. You're right - we're masters at mucking things up!
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
There are always factions that keep the battles raging and for their own means.
You hit the nail on the head.
Very good and emotional triolet.
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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There are always factions that keep the battles raging and for their own means.
You hit the nail on the head.
Very good and emotional triolet.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Many thanks, Barb. As you say, it is all about vested interests.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
This is an excellent triolet for the contest Tony. It's so well written that the repeated lines do not sound at all contrived to meet this form's requirements. Lovely picture and I think you will do well in the contest. Good Luck. Dorothy
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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This is an excellent triolet for the contest Tony. It's so well written that the repeated lines do not sound at all contrived to meet this form's requirements. Lovely picture and I think you will do well in the contest. Good Luck. Dorothy
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Many thanks, Dorothy for your review and good luck wishes!
Comment from rspoet
This is a fine triolet poem
true to the form with rhyme and repeat lines
Strong repeat lines are key to the form
yours stand up very well
The sad reality of this and most other times
As an old folk song says,
"Oh, when will they ever learn, when will they ever learn"
Well done
Best wishes in the contest
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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This is a fine triolet poem
true to the form with rhyme and repeat lines
Strong repeat lines are key to the form
yours stand up very well
The sad reality of this and most other times
As an old folk song says,
"Oh, when will they ever learn, when will they ever learn"
Well done
Best wishes in the contest
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 10-May-2016
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Sadly, there doesn't seem much chance of them learning any time soon. Thanks for your kind words about the poem and good luck wishes for the contest. Tony