Sonnets
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Jus Primae Noctis"A collection of sonnets
32 total reviews
Comment from fastdigits
If ever I could write like this
my kingdom I would hurl into the abyss .
My God, man, your writing is akin to
attending a Midsummer Night's Eve
and listening to Shakespeare in the
Park.
What I mean to say, it is captivating
to see but a mortal man turn mere words
into such beauty.
If, but only I could write like this.
Well done
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
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If ever I could write like this
my kingdom I would hurl into the abyss .
My God, man, your writing is akin to
attending a Midsummer Night's Eve
and listening to Shakespeare in the
Park.
What I mean to say, it is captivating
to see but a mortal man turn mere words
into such beauty.
If, but only I could write like this.
Well done
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
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Geez. I'm humbled. Thanks so very much. I don't know what to say. It's just lots of words instead of a few. It did seem to come together almost out of my control. I'm just delighted I could return the favor. I enjoy your work every time I read it. Thanks a million, mikey
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
I admire anyone who can write a crown of sonnets. This is such a sad story, makes a woman cry. Couple of thoughts for you. I think due to differences in accents some of the lines seem out of meter to me but they work, but there are a couple I feel could use some work.
Could answers new wait for me their tonight
Could answers new await me their tonight
I know the voice I hear is me sweet dear (my sweet)
I'll go alone, take the ship, don't be sad (this line is rough for me but I'm having a trouble finding the right wording. I'll go alone, is a good meter gets rough with take the ship don't be sad. I'll GO aLONE TAKE the SHIP DON'T BE SAD, I heard a lot of hard stresses in that line but it could be differences in language
I'll go alone, I'll take the ship, not sad, something along that meter)
It's a great story which I thoroughly enjoyed reading. Great work.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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I admire anyone who can write a crown of sonnets. This is such a sad story, makes a woman cry. Couple of thoughts for you. I think due to differences in accents some of the lines seem out of meter to me but they work, but there are a couple I feel could use some work.
Could answers new wait for me their tonight
Could answers new await me their tonight
I know the voice I hear is me sweet dear (my sweet)
I'll go alone, take the ship, don't be sad (this line is rough for me but I'm having a trouble finding the right wording. I'll go alone, is a good meter gets rough with take the ship don't be sad. I'll GO aLONE TAKE the SHIP DON'T BE SAD, I heard a lot of hard stresses in that line but it could be differences in language
I'll go alone, I'll take the ship, not sad, something along that meter)
It's a great story which I thoroughly enjoyed reading. Great work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Jeesh! You've arrived in the nick of time. LOL. I'll be back in a little while. DUH! How blind am I? Thank you so much. mikey
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I think I fixed it now, if you have time to take a peek. Thanks so much again for catching that. Whew! mikey
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Anytime, that is what we are for. Hey I updated my comment on that. I did see a couple of lines a bit rough.
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Await! Yes! That's the word. :))
I'll work on that line, I agree.
Ooops, slipped into Irish there me sweety. :)) Thanks for the help. There's always a couple lines. Jeesh. Perfect for that one. Thanks. I'm so thrilled you liked this. You get so caught up it's hard to even know if it makes sense when you're done. LOL mikey
