2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "5/7/5 (beautiful moonlight)"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
56 total reviews
Comment from Delahay
I like your play on words that moonlight making funny 'phases' in reflections on the water.I think it's clever. I've never seen that particular substitution.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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I like your play on words that moonlight making funny 'phases' in reflections on the water.I think it's clever. I've never seen that particular substitution.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Thank you Delahay
Comment from Jackarrie
This is a very good entry into the contest, I love the image it goes so well with your poem
I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Mary
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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This is a very good entry into the contest, I love the image it goes so well with your poem
I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Mary
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Thank you Mary :)
Comment from elainec4
Excellent 5-7-5!! In these seventeen syllables you have painted a lovely picture and given the reader pause for thought. Your chosen artwork is perfect. Enjoyed reading this work. Good luck in the contest. elaine
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Excellent 5-7-5!! In these seventeen syllables you have painted a lovely picture and given the reader pause for thought. Your chosen artwork is perfect. Enjoyed reading this work. Good luck in the contest. elaine
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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thank you Elaine :)
Comment from Rubylou
Great play on words in this nice little 5-7-5 without the 'face' of the man in the moon. The description of the "funny phases' is very well done.Nice image as well.
Rubylou
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Great play on words in this nice little 5-7-5 without the 'face' of the man in the moon. The description of the "funny phases' is very well done.Nice image as well.
Rubylou
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Thank you Rubylou :)
Comment from seaglass
As a child I often fantasized about walking and climbing on moonbeams. This poem paints a brief picture of their dance on water. The play with words in the last line is clever.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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As a child I often fantasized about walking and climbing on moonbeams. This poem paints a brief picture of their dance on water. The play with words in the last line is clever.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Thank you seaglass :)
Comment from Dean Kuch
"Funny Phases," heh-heh... I like that; nice play on words. This is a well thought out 5-7-5, not to mention a good, solid entry for this particular contest. I think you'll do quite well.
Good luck!
~Dean
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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"Funny Phases," heh-heh... I like that; nice play on words. This is a well thought out 5-7-5, not to mention a good, solid entry for this particular contest. I think you'll do quite well.
Good luck!
~Dean
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Thank you handsome :) I always appreciate your opinion and review :)
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You're more than welcome, darlin'...
Good luck!
~Dean :)
Comment from Janet Foor
Beautiful picture to show us the beautiful moonlight reflected in the blue water.
Great last line. Very nicely done and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Beautiful picture to show us the beautiful moonlight reflected in the blue water.
Great last line. Very nicely done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Thank you jmf :)
Comment from jaded831
Excellent! You brought me to a place of serenity in such few words. The picture compliments your poem beautifully. I need to read them all to be fair, but so far yours is the best.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Excellent! You brought me to a place of serenity in such few words. The picture compliments your poem beautifully. I need to read them all to be fair, but so far yours is the best.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Thank you jaded :)
Comment from dragonpoet
Moonlight is always beautiful on water. I like the play on words with phasing and facing.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Moonlight is always beautiful on water. I like the play on words with phasing and facing.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Thank you dragonpoet :)
Comment from Domino 2
Very clever double-meaning play on words 3rd line, Gypsy.
Just a friendly, humble suggestion:
In these 'shorties', imagery is paramount, as I'm sure you know, so EVERY word needs to be utilised to convey it.
Of course, 'beautiful' is a lovely word, but it's pretty non-descriptive and could apply to many things in different ways. So, 'Beautiful' in which way exactly, if I'm making any sense? Maybe think of another word to compliment the 'moonlight'.
I hope you don't mind my suggestion, and I won't be at all offended if you ignore it.
Best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Very clever double-meaning play on words 3rd line, Gypsy.
Just a friendly, humble suggestion:
In these 'shorties', imagery is paramount, as I'm sure you know, so EVERY word needs to be utilised to convey it.
Of course, 'beautiful' is a lovely word, but it's pretty non-descriptive and could apply to many things in different ways. So, 'Beautiful' in which way exactly, if I'm making any sense? Maybe think of another word to compliment the 'moonlight'.
I hope you don't mind my suggestion, and I won't be at all offended if you ignore it.
Best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2015
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Thank you Ray :)