Reviews from

Torment and Choices

A different Father's Day Poem

91 total reviews 
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your story is so sad. I can't even imagine what it must be like to have a father like yours. My dad was a farmer, so he was always there for us. I love the artwork you chose for this writing.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2024
    Hi Friend,
    It was sad for much of my life. He loved me and my sister so much, but not enough to give up drinking. He lived to 72, which is pretty old for the type of alcoholic he was, which was a binge drinker, but it was the drinking that got him. There were moments of pure job with him, but they were followed by his drinking bouts.

    Thanks for your review and comments, my friend,
    Rhonda
Comment from Begin Again
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

So heartfelt and filled with pain and sadness. I can relate to your thoughts. My father's addiction was work... and impressing upon me that can't was never an option. He was always too busy to recognize he had a daughter because he thought putting a roof over our head and making it better was his claim to fame.

Loved your thoughts.
Smiles and hugs, Carol

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2024
    HI Carol, thank you so much for the six stars, my friend.
    Thank you for sharing about your father and his addiction. All of it, in my opinion, is a way to distance them from family and its emotional attachments. Sometimes I wonder if it's the chemical my father was addicted to as much as it was the emotional part. I always knew he loved me, and he was the one to prod my creativity, but, he was my first broken heart.
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Excellent
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Well, I must say this is a different Fathers Day poem, but wow, what a Father's Day poem!!!!! You are an amazing poet, dear Rhonda. This was absolutely wonderful and I am so torn here as I have a six left but saved for Sally's post today, which I hear you helped out. So thank you.

Anyway I used them all up yesterday. So many amazing posts. But I am glad that this one came to see the light today, or I would have missed out on one of the most well written poems in a long time. Awesome job my wonderful friend.
Please tell me more about this man. Was this your father? Thank you for sharing and this is a virtual ten!!! Debi

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2024
    Hi Debi, thank you so much for the beautiful review. Don't waste a 6 on it regardless, it was a repost, so it won't count.
    I'm waiting on another Sally post today, too. I run out of them quickly!!

    I was inspired to post it after your dad post. It was written in 2015 back when I posted poetry a lot. Not so much now, lol.

    Much love,
    Rhonda
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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We all have weaknesses and flaws and I like the way your lovely tribute doesn't veer away from the truth about him. Because accepting someone 'warts and all' shows true love and faith. I'm always wary of obituaries that so often portray people in the most heroic detail because that's not the grown-up world we live in. That said, I appreciate the sorrow you felt and the more fruitful life he could have led. Well done, Rhonda! Debbie xo

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2024
    Hi Debbie, thank you for the review. I've been thinking about reposting this for days. It is honest, and hopefully comes off as sincere and loving. I think it was originally part of a contest, but not sure.

    Thanks again,
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Rhonda,
Your sad poem about your father is both touching and tragic.
Addiction steals many good lives.
Your haunting photo complements your photo well.
Good luck with your excellent Tanka.
Cindy


 Comment Written 17-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2024
    Hi Cindy,
    Thank you for your review. You're so right about the effects of Addiction on lives. The reverberations reach out generations.

    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Jamison Brown
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I could feel the disappointment in your well-chosen words, Rhonda.

To me, this line is the most powerful and effective:
Addictions steal both heart and life,
his health, contentment, child and wife.


Overall Impression:

Your poem is a poignant example of a life lost to addiction. It has an emotional impact, especially for anyone who has been directly or indirectly impacted by addiction. Very well done, with good meter and a simple AABB rhyme scheme. Thank you for sharing this Father's Day message. - Jamison



 Comment Written 16-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2024
    HI Jamison,
    Thank you so much for the six stars so graciously bestowed!!
    It was a very different Father's Day Poem, and it was as honest as I could get. I loved my father, but I was also hurt. I meant him no disrespect, and as published poetic himself, he would have owned this message!! He was as honest with others as he was to himself.
    Thanks again,
    Rhonda
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is such a sad and touching poem and I felt the hurt and also the joy here at knowing this man who broke your heart, this poem brought a tear to my eye, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2024
    Hi Dolly,
    Thank you so very much for the lovely sixes!! You nailed it with the mixture of hurt and joy. I was a daddy's girl, but was left bereft of that aspect. I think that's why God as my father has been so comforting.
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
reply by Dolly'sPoems on 17-Jun-2024
    A skilful write from a talented pen Rhonda x x x
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2024
    That's so sweet!! And, coming from you, it means a lot!!
Comment from Amsterdam
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Few men are proud
Two roads till
The very end
Even I, can not pretend

Addiction
Is a disease
Demons
Take over the mind

Fact, Not fiction
Done with ease
Over and over
We tend to find

anywho-
Thank you for your thoughts
Thank you for sharing

A fatal flaw
to the very end.

am

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2015
    Wow, thanks for the brilliant review! It was a poem from the heart, and I don't often do that, but it was based on a writing prompt I missed by...that much...Still, I posted it on my own and was glad I did, because it seems there were other Fanstorians that were able to relate! Thanks again, You are a dear,
    Rhonda
Comment from jules4jesus
Excellent
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wow so heart felt and so sad addiction is such a horrid thing, your words are full of emotion and my tugging at my heart strings just wondering but was it your dad i can feel sadness and love yet a feeling of being let down wow this is bringing in so many emotions well done its an excellent write

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2015


reply by the author on 04-Sep-2015
    Thank you so much, Jules, for the sweet review. Yes, it was my dad, and I loved him very much, but spent a lot of nights crying when he would disappear for months at a time when on a drinking binge. Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from Domino 2
Excellent
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This is a very interesting and well-written poem, Rhonda.

Indeed, addictions can cause great harm to the one addicted, and often more to loved ones around him.

I find your meter generally excellent, but with respect, I found two lines didn't quite scan:

'by life's struggle...we almost met' - though I can't think of a quick fix - in case you may want one. LOL

'his health, happiness, child and wife' maybe:

'his-HEALTH-con-TENT-ment (contentment)-CHILD-and-WIFE' - as 'HAPP-i-NESS' doesn't emphasise correctly in the context, IMO.

Anyway, a top theme and read.

Best wishes, Ray xx


 Comment Written 03-Sep-2015


reply by the author on 03-Sep-2015
    Thanks, Ray. You have done a wonderful job of reading and reviewing the poem with detail and suggestions. Thank you for the pointers. I like your idea. It does flow better!
reply by Domino 2 on 03-Sep-2015
    I'm humbled and flattered you think my suggestion worthwhile, Rhonda.

    All the best, Ray xx
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2015
    I am a beginner in poetry, and can use all the help I can get. I usually write prose, and can use help there, too! Thanks,
    Rhonda
reply by Domino 2 on 04-Sep-2015
    I rarely review prose or poetry over about 150 words, Rhonda, as I have a hopeless reading attention spell.

    Cheers, Ray xx
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2015
    I understand. My eyes start hurting, but I've been spending more time writing poetry lately anyway!
reply by Domino 2 on 04-Sep-2015
    I'll certainly still check you out. If I forget, and you've a poem you'd particularly like me to review, then PM me. I won't promise, but I'll try if I'm around. xx