Reviews from

Things Change

contest entry

45 total reviews 
Comment from MsPetra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really liked this offering. I also liked the perspective you used.
I don't have any suggestions to make it better. You did a great job on this.
I wish you well with your writing.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
    Thank you very much
Comment from MelB
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was a fun read on puberty. I think almost everyone begged their parents to stop talking about the birds and the bees. Nice that the older brother will be there for the younger one.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
    Thank you, MelB
reply by MelB on 16-Jul-2015
    You're welcome
Comment from mvbrooks
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Cute story of an older brother sharing with his younger brother.

This seems to be poetry, rather than prose and the rhyme scheme written in paragraph form was distracting. It slowed the reading of the piece.

I'd recommend being "true to form" and keeping the stanzas instead of paragraphs when writing in full rhyme.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2015

Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ha-ha...this was g-r-r-r-r-r-e-a-t, Anonymous Author! To make it rhyme consistently from beginning to end, yet still maintain a funny and coherent story, must have been one daunting task.

I can only imagine.

Well, with all of the "perks" we lose when we outgrow our childhood and enter puberty, the benefits we gain in return far outweigh those we've lost.

At least, I think so.

Great story--good job! I wish you all the best in the contest.
~Dean :}

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
    Thank you, Dean.
reply by Dean Kuch on 17-Jul-2015
    Don't mention it. :}
Comment from thee-name
Excellent
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Excellent story. Seen no mistakes. Writing was interesting.

"Sit down, little bro I've got a story to tell.

Great, now I rhyme everything I say. This really isn't my day."

Suggestion: Look over where you put the quotation marks ?

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
    Thank you very much
reply by thee-name on 17-Jul-2015
    thank you!
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This meets the contest requirements beautifully. Yippee! Finally an entry that is encouraging and uplifting - not to mention melodic in its execution. I thoroughly enjoyed this and needed a smile after having read so many sad stories of abuse. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
    Thank you very much
Comment from ellie6
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Brilliant interpretation of the theme. It all has a ring of truth. Very well described . The illustration is touching, it makes good reading.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2015

Comment from joann r romei
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

this was adorable, you should send this somewhere to a parent child magazine. I think boys have it a bit rougher during this stage for girls it isnt so obvious unless she sprouts double d's.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2015

Comment from MizKat
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Writer,

This is a nice little story that you wrote in rhyme. The picture you chose to go with it is really nice too. You did a good job in writing this and I enjoyed reading it very much.

Kat

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2015

Comment from barkingdog
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Is rhyming another sign of puberty. LOL
I loved that you added that at the end or I would have told you to reformat the post and enter it under poetry.
Great contest entry.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2015