2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "haiku (widow devours him)"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
52 total reviews
Comment from inside echo
This a very well done poem. The colours are perfect. That black widow is so beautiful and so vicious to her mate. Reminds me perfectly of Alice Coopers song. Very well done. Excellently written. Creative. A fantastic contest entry. Good luck in the contest.
tgc
echo
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
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This a very well done poem. The colours are perfect. That black widow is so beautiful and so vicious to her mate. Reminds me perfectly of Alice Coopers song. Very well done. Excellently written. Creative. A fantastic contest entry. Good luck in the contest.
tgc
echo
Comment Written 10-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
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Thank you Inside echo, I appreciate your excellent review.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Wow!!! This is a winner! I loved the picture and format. The word devours has multiple meanings here: From devouring his money, glory, pride, perhaps, dignity. Yes: spiritually and physically, She may as well eat him alive. Good luck. This is going to be a strong contest entry.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Wow!!! This is a winner! I loved the picture and format. The word devours has multiple meanings here: From devouring his money, glory, pride, perhaps, dignity. Yes: spiritually and physically, She may as well eat him alive. Good luck. This is going to be a strong contest entry.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Thank you Benjamin, I appreciate your review. :)
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi...
_ Dressed to kill as the sands of time run out.
_ Indeed, spider-spiders, as well as human spiders devour.
_ Excellent entry in the contest.
_ Good luck.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Hi...
_ Dressed to kill as the sands of time run out.
_ Indeed, spider-spiders, as well as human spiders devour.
_ Excellent entry in the contest.
_ Good luck.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 10-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Thank you Jax, I appreciate your review. :)
Comment from angel123
Your poem is well written and I enjoyed reading it. It flows well and your artwork choice is great. Good alliteration of words wet web.
Angel123
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Your poem is well written and I enjoyed reading it. It flows well and your artwork choice is great. Good alliteration of words wet web.
Angel123
Comment Written 10-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Thank you Angel, I appreciate your review. :)
Comment from Dean Kuch
Red hourglass shape, black background...
You've obviously written your very lovely, wonderfully presented spider-haiku entry on the beautiful--but extremely deadly and vicious--Funnel Web Spider. N-o-o-o-o-o, I'm only jokin' around with ya, Gypsy. I know it's about one of the deadliest predators there is, one which packs some mighty big punch for their size in their venom, the Emperor Scorpion. Which leads me to my next point. Isn't this supposed to be a "spider haiku?" Okay, scorpions are arachnids, I get that. But they're hardly spiders.
What? What's that you say? The Black Widow?! Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?
Heh-heh-heh...
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Red hourglass shape, black background...
You've obviously written your very lovely, wonderfully presented spider-haiku entry on the beautiful--but extremely deadly and vicious--Funnel Web Spider. N-o-o-o-o-o, I'm only jokin' around with ya, Gypsy. I know it's about one of the deadliest predators there is, one which packs some mighty big punch for their size in their venom, the Emperor Scorpion. Which leads me to my next point. Isn't this supposed to be a "spider haiku?" Okay, scorpions are arachnids, I get that. But they're hardly spiders.
What? What's that you say? The Black Widow?! Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?
Heh-heh-heh...
Comment Written 10-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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LOL you read my mind. :) Thank you Dean, I appreciate your review. :)
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You are more than welcome, my friend. Good luck! :)
Comment from ravenblack
I don't need the diamond-shaped graphic to tell me you are speaking of a black widow on two levels. Wet web of deception- ouch! And that poison kills. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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I don't need the diamond-shaped graphic to tell me you are speaking of a black widow on two levels. Wet web of deception- ouch! And that poison kills. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Thank you ravenblack, I appreciate your review. :)
Comment from seaglass
This haiku paints an accurate picture of the cagy spider seeking prey. I think a picture of a colorful spider on a web would be enhancing, but that just me.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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This haiku paints an accurate picture of the cagy spider seeking prey. I think a picture of a colorful spider on a web would be enhancing, but that just me.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Thank you seaglass, I appreciate your review. :) I wanted to make the readers think and picture it in their mind without a picture of the spider
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The hour glass did sugest a blackwidow
Comment from Pantygynt
This is horrible but ver effective and I believe with certain species biologically correct. If I say I'm fed up with reviewing haiku someone will tell me I don't have to do it. But I've lost countof how many I've done today and very few match up to my haiku test. But I'll check this one out anyway.
Syllable count, check; grammatical sentence links first two lines, check; nature in the subject matter, by association with this competition, check; satori line links the two ideas, check and a particularly fine one if I might say so; kigo word to establish the season, I don't find one.
So does it cut the mustard? Better than most, since most of the boxes are ticke. The next thing that happens is the replies that say this or that wasn't in the regulations or you don' t have to have this or that anyway. In other words lets do away with the rules of haikuy if we don't like them.
How many people would be watchging the tennis at wimmbledon this week if they decided to do away with the net?
This diatribe is not aimed at you in particular but at those who set haikyu competitionbs with incomplete instruyctions so that reviewers have to wade through odfferings many of which are not haiku.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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This is horrible but ver effective and I believe with certain species biologically correct. If I say I'm fed up with reviewing haiku someone will tell me I don't have to do it. But I've lost countof how many I've done today and very few match up to my haiku test. But I'll check this one out anyway.
Syllable count, check; grammatical sentence links first two lines, check; nature in the subject matter, by association with this competition, check; satori line links the two ideas, check and a particularly fine one if I might say so; kigo word to establish the season, I don't find one.
So does it cut the mustard? Better than most, since most of the boxes are ticke. The next thing that happens is the replies that say this or that wasn't in the regulations or you don' t have to have this or that anyway. In other words lets do away with the rules of haikuy if we don't like them.
How many people would be watchging the tennis at wimmbledon this week if they decided to do away with the net?
This diatribe is not aimed at you in particular but at those who set haikyu competitionbs with incomplete instruyctions so that reviewers have to wade through odfferings many of which are not haiku.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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thanks,
the web is wet by rain thus is a raining season~ that is the kigo x checked
Comment from pickmeplease
Awesome. Love the picture you chose to pair with your haiku. Great title and first line. Both grabbed me and hooked me into reading your poem. Last line had four syllables, but it works so well I can see why you used it. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Awesome. Love the picture you chose to pair with your haiku. Great title and first line. Both grabbed me and hooked me into reading your poem. Last line had four syllables, but it works so well I can see why you used it. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Thank you pick me please, I appreciate your review. :) the contest states 17 syllables or less. It has to be short/long/short format. I usually go 5/7/5 but this time it was better with 3
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Very good haiku - this spider you have almost personified. This spider sounds vampish. Lines l and 2 interconnect perfectly and your line 3 is a good stand alone satori. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Very good haiku - this spider you have almost personified. This spider sounds vampish. Lines l and 2 interconnect perfectly and your line 3 is a good stand alone satori. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 10-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015
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Thank you Dorothy, I appreciate your review. :)