Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "River gods"A collection of poems on these themes
51 total reviews
Comment from Quire's Gal
Wow Steve. this is really powerful and very viseral. I feel along with the words as if I am there. You have given this a very military feel which adds ever more power to your story. It also has a religious feel to it. I loved this phrase...
Next day I fetch her stumbling back
and install her in prodigal comfort
I could go on and on with words and phrases I like, but I'd quoting just about the whole piece.
I feel I need a drink after reading this my friend LOL It emotionally wore me out.
Good luck with this sure fire piece.
Quire's Gal (Katherine (AKA) Drusilla1
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2015
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Wow Steve. this is really powerful and very viseral. I feel along with the words as if I am there. You have given this a very military feel which adds ever more power to your story. It also has a religious feel to it. I loved this phrase...
Next day I fetch her stumbling back
and install her in prodigal comfort
I could go on and on with words and phrases I like, but I'd quoting just about the whole piece.
I feel I need a drink after reading this my friend LOL It emotionally wore me out.
Good luck with this sure fire piece.
Quire's Gal (Katherine (AKA) Drusilla1
Comment Written 29-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2015
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Ditched Drusilla for a new monicker??? And you were Katherine all the time?!
Thanks so much for the great review - I guess the highest compliment is that the poem touched you emotionally.
Steve
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is an amazing tale. You words are full of great imagery. The artwork is perfect. The actions of the "river gods" seem cruel. How many people and animals are/were lost in the recent flooding in many states?
Your story reminds the reader that those animals caught in the flood are at the mercy of so many 'things' that interact.
I think the same thing about the animals caught up in the forest fires happening now [and whenever they do].
Good job on the poem and best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2015
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This is an amazing tale. You words are full of great imagery. The artwork is perfect. The actions of the "river gods" seem cruel. How many people and animals are/were lost in the recent flooding in many states?
Your story reminds the reader that those animals caught in the flood are at the mercy of so many 'things' that interact.
I think the same thing about the animals caught up in the forest fires happening now [and whenever they do].
Good job on the poem and best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2015
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Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is an interesting post that the author has created with this piece of writing. The river gods do indeed never stop and they will have no feelings for our feelings at all.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2015
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This is an interesting post that the author has created with this piece of writing. The river gods do indeed never stop and they will have no feelings for our feelings at all.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2015
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Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
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My pleasure
Comment from inside echo
Oh how sad. Both the destruction of the raging, overflowing river and all the damaged caused, and then the loss of your cow. Poor thing. It seemed for a bright moment that something good was going to happen in your poem and my heart smiled as you had the cow return and you made her comfortable, then promptly sank again when the darkness and shotgun came out. Very well written. Excellent imagery, and flow. A great ability you have to command the readers attention and hold it... right through to the end. Well done. Good luck in your contest. A great contest entry. Thank you for sharing.
tgc
echo
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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Oh how sad. Both the destruction of the raging, overflowing river and all the damaged caused, and then the loss of your cow. Poor thing. It seemed for a bright moment that something good was going to happen in your poem and my heart smiled as you had the cow return and you made her comfortable, then promptly sank again when the darkness and shotgun came out. Very well written. Excellent imagery, and flow. A great ability you have to command the readers attention and hold it... right through to the end. Well done. Good luck in your contest. A great contest entry. Thank you for sharing.
tgc
echo
Comment Written 29-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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Thank you.
yes, it's a bit of a bumpy ride - I haven't read this one to my wife yet as I know she will be most unhappy with the ending, but that's what the poetry gods demanded and they can be just as implacable as any river gods...
Steve
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Your wife doesn't know? Is this a creative piece or did it really happen? I sure wish we could get some water here, the town is currently completely surrounded by fires.
You poem is great...
tgc
echo
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Yep, based on a real event, but long ago - plenty of creative licence there. You're welcome to some of our winter weather - I'll try to whip up a spell to swap our climates for a while!
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Awww, so sad. and mix the water with the fires.. solution found... Try hear on that spell...
tgc
echo
Comment from Just2Write
Amazing and full with the tumultuous ragings of the river and the river gods. You swept me up, right along with the current and carried me on the churning, muddy white water ride as the torrents of water and debris carried everything away. The fate of the heifer add such a personal touch to the tragedy.
Great writing, my friend. I always know I'm in for a treat with a posting from you. Rose.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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Amazing and full with the tumultuous ragings of the river and the river gods. You swept me up, right along with the current and carried me on the churning, muddy white water ride as the torrents of water and debris carried everything away. The fate of the heifer add such a personal touch to the tragedy.
Great writing, my friend. I always know I'm in for a treat with a posting from you. Rose.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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Rose, thanks so much for the warm review and the six stars. I posted this last night and went to bed when the first half dozen reviews were a bit lukewarm. Free verse is not usually my cup of tea, as you know. I thought this was good, but it's good to get confirmation from reviewers I know and trust.
Steve
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I know the feeling... I have a slow start on my entry in this contest as well. As you know, I love good Free Verse, and really like to read the ones that have been written with skill.
Comment from sibhus
Excellent poem. Perfect descriptions that describe the fury of the river so well. I know as I sit here and check the weather channel everyday for the latest conditions and the possible fury of my own River Gods. Beautiful thoughts that truly describe the awesome power and destruction of the river. A great entry for the contest and good luck.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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Excellent poem. Perfect descriptions that describe the fury of the river so well. I know as I sit here and check the weather channel everyday for the latest conditions and the possible fury of my own River Gods. Beautiful thoughts that truly describe the awesome power and destruction of the river. A great entry for the contest and good luck.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much for the great review.
I find myself once again living by a river, although the genesis of this poem lies in my childhood.
Steve
Comment from Sasha
This has to be the best free verse I have ever read and the story beyond superb. You pulled me into the action and your ending brought tears to my eyes. I wish you all the best in this contest, I cannot imagine another that can beat this one.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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This has to be the best free verse I have ever read and the story beyond superb. You pulled me into the action and your ending brought tears to my eyes. I wish you all the best in this contest, I cannot imagine another that can beat this one.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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Well that's certainly high praise! Thank you so much.
I'm sure you know I usually stick to rhyme and meter so this foray into free verse was a bit scary for me. When I first posted last night, the early reviews came back fairly lukewarm, so I loved getting your one!
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
It sure sounds real, Steve. You have some wonderful images here. I like the personification of the river, as the 'river gods who shoulder free of the confines of their banks and celebrate by spreading a remorseless tide across the lower flats." Loved it! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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It sure sounds real, Steve. You have some wonderful images here. I like the personification of the river, as the 'river gods who shoulder free of the confines of their banks and celebrate by spreading a remorseless tide across the lower flats." Loved it! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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Thank you, thank you for the wonderful review and six stars.
I'm sure you know I usually stick to rhyme and meter so this foray into free verse was a bit scary for me. When I first posted last night, the early reviews came back fairly lukewarm, so I loved getting your one!
It is based on fact but from a long time ago.
Steve
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Wow! Powerful Steve. Very powerful. I think this is what free verse is supposed to be. The imagery was vivid and the story captivating. I don't review many free verse but this is really well done. How real the message seemed. Well done. Good luck. Nancy
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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Wow! Powerful Steve. Very powerful. I think this is what free verse is supposed to be. The imagery was vivid and the story captivating. I don't review many free verse but this is really well done. How real the message seemed. Well done. Good luck. Nancy
Comment Written 29-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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Nancy, thanks a lot for the kind words.
Yes, it is based on a real incident, although it is many years in the past now.
Steve
Comment from rspoet
This free verse poem is beyond excellent, which can only mean exceptional.
The poem flows, rushes, roars, settles
Emotions tumble, rise; hope, joy; hesitate, fall: sadness
The river impassive, flowing, bringer and taker of life
You use words so well, exceptionally is the word:
from "murmurs and meanders" to "tumultuous fusillades" to "jagged brilliance" and more
But you use emotions even better
The single lines are wonderful pauses, a time to think, reflect
And the cycle comes full circle, as the sun rises and seasons turn, impassive
And the poem too completes its circuit.
Photograph not needed, cannot compare to the poem
Six heartbreaks, posing as stars
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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This free verse poem is beyond excellent, which can only mean exceptional.
The poem flows, rushes, roars, settles
Emotions tumble, rise; hope, joy; hesitate, fall: sadness
The river impassive, flowing, bringer and taker of life
You use words so well, exceptionally is the word:
from "murmurs and meanders" to "tumultuous fusillades" to "jagged brilliance" and more
But you use emotions even better
The single lines are wonderful pauses, a time to think, reflect
And the cycle comes full circle, as the sun rises and seasons turn, impassive
And the poem too completes its circuit.
Photograph not needed, cannot compare to the poem
Six heartbreaks, posing as stars
Comment Written 29-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review and the six stars.
I usually stick to rhyme and meter so this foray into free verse was a bit scary for me. When I first posted last night, the early reviews came back fairly lukewarm, so I loved getting your one!
Great understanding of my intentions and sincere response. You are right about the picture too - I could not find one to match my memory or imagination, so perhaps it would be better without one at all.
Steve
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Anyone who was lukewarm on this poem simply doesn't understand free verse, in my humble opinion.