First Light
There's promise in the dawn's first light46 total reviews
Comment from Helena Frances
We live in hope--if we choose.
I really enjoyed this calm, soothing verse.
I like the placement of the repetitive line.
The picture adds to the pace of the poem.
Good luck in the contest:)
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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We live in hope--if we choose.
I really enjoyed this calm, soothing verse.
I like the placement of the repetitive line.
The picture adds to the pace of the poem.
Good luck in the contest:)
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you Helena for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I'm so pleased that you liked it.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from mfowler
You've captured a lovely slice of life here. Your repeated mantra invites, reflects and completes the series of images you've drawn around the central idea. I loved your choice of line. It is lyrical in itself and required strong support lines to make it work well. The overall effect is visually and emotionally satisfying. Good luck with the competition.
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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You've captured a lovely slice of life here. Your repeated mantra invites, reflects and completes the series of images you've drawn around the central idea. I loved your choice of line. It is lyrical in itself and required strong support lines to make it work well. The overall effect is visually and emotionally satisfying. Good luck with the competition.
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I'm so pleased that you liked it.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Bill Schott
I enjoyed your quatern, First Light, as it serves as a reminder that each new day provides another opportunity to get it right. The allusion to Jesus' second commandment is well repeated: Love your neighbor as yourself. Happy day.
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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I enjoyed your quatern, First Light, as it serves as a reminder that each new day provides another opportunity to get it right. The allusion to Jesus' second commandment is well repeated: Love your neighbor as yourself. Happy day.
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you Bill for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I'm so pleased that you liked it.
Blessings
Janet Bi
Comment from LIJ Red
The end rhymes have word similarity closer than is common, light and delight and glow and afterglow. I'd juggle some words and get the rest in line with the nice second stanza. Opinions, opinions.
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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The end rhymes have word similarity closer than is common, light and delight and glow and afterglow. I'd juggle some words and get the rest in line with the nice second stanza. Opinions, opinions.
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you LIJ for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I'm so pleased that you liked it.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from misscookie
I love the artwork you choose for your poem
it is a perfect match. Each line touch me deeply it's a shame so many people will never take the time to see another one of His creations
Cookie
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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I love the artwork you choose for your poem
it is a perfect match. Each line touch me deeply it's a shame so many people will never take the time to see another one of His creations
Cookie
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you Cookie for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I'm so pleased that you liked it.
Blessings
Janet
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You are very welcome
Until next time.
cookie
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. I enjoyed this poem. I think the message is perfect...for today was a hard start for me:-) Good to remember, every day begin anew.
I am a little rusty at reviewing so can't say I am good looking for SPAG, sorry.
thanks,
padumachitta
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Hi. I enjoyed this poem. I think the message is perfect...for today was a hard start for me:-) Good to remember, every day begin anew.
I am a little rusty at reviewing so can't say I am good looking for SPAG, sorry.
thanks,
padumachitta
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I'm so pleased that you liked it.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Dean Kuch
Beautifully done, Mystery Poet. Your repetitive line was put to good use here, as in each stanza you wrote of the dawning of a brand new day, hope, love, and an boundless number of possibilities which dawn with them. The rhyming, cadence and flow were flawlessly executed -- the rhyming, very well done.
Presented in well rhymed quatrains, this is one lovely poem that should be a top contender in this contest.
Good luck to you. ~Dean
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Beautifully done, Mystery Poet. Your repetitive line was put to good use here, as in each stanza you wrote of the dawning of a brand new day, hope, love, and an boundless number of possibilities which dawn with them. The rhyming, cadence and flow were flawlessly executed -- the rhyming, very well done.
Presented in well rhymed quatrains, this is one lovely poem that should be a top contender in this contest.
Good luck to you. ~Dean
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you Dean for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I'm so pleased that you liked it.
Blessings
Janet
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It was entirely my pleasure, Janet. ~Dean
Comment from scd41
With the day break and the first light touching the earth, kaleidoscpic changes start taking place. Many experience a mystic feeling at dawn. You have nicely used the line 'there's promise in the dawn's first light.' to highlight the feelings.
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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With the day break and the first light touching the earth, kaleidoscpic changes start taking place. Many experience a mystic feeling at dawn. You have nicely used the line 'there's promise in the dawn's first light.' to highlight the feelings.
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I'm so pleased that you liked it.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Ben Colder
I think this might be a winner. You have it arranged right on. Good stanzas and strong wording. I found no mistakes. Best to you .
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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I think this might be a winner. You have it arranged right on. Good stanzas and strong wording. I found no mistakes. Best to you .
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you Ben for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I'm so pleased that you liked it.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from I am Cat
What a beautiful poem...
it really lends itself to this contest and it has a lovely
lilting cadence to it that makes me think of
"sitting on the dock in the bay..."
and I really like the feel of the rolling waves... :)
the only part i saw that needed changing was the plurality of this sentence:
As songbirds sings their sunrise song (either it's songbirds sing, or songbird sings) But that's it! It's gorgeous and good luck in the contest!
Cat
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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What a beautiful poem...
it really lends itself to this contest and it has a lovely
lilting cadence to it that makes me think of
"sitting on the dock in the bay..."
and I really like the feel of the rolling waves... :)
the only part i saw that needed changing was the plurality of this sentence:
As songbirds sings their sunrise song (either it's songbirds sing, or songbird sings) But that's it! It's gorgeous and good luck in the contest!
Cat
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you Cat for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I'm so pleased that you liked it. Thank you too for the constructive suggestion. I made that change immediately.
Blessings
Janet
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Thank you so much for the reviewing contest vote as well... what a nice surprise! :)