Shepherd
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Makes Me"poems inspired by Psalm 23
37 total reviews
Comment from Linmoonsky613
I found your piece to be awe inspiring. I could clearly picture the deer and her fawns walking by at the dawn of a new day and the streams of water flowing from mountains so high. To see such majestic beauty can give an individual such joy but also make them question the purposes of their lives. I also liked how the piece flowed smoothly and had wonderful transitions. Thank you for posting such fantastic work and I can't wait to see what you right next.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2014
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I found your piece to be awe inspiring. I could clearly picture the deer and her fawns walking by at the dawn of a new day and the streams of water flowing from mountains so high. To see such majestic beauty can give an individual such joy but also make them question the purposes of their lives. I also liked how the piece flowed smoothly and had wonderful transitions. Thank you for posting such fantastic work and I can't wait to see what you right next.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2014
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I am so flattered. "Awe inspiring" is such a wonderful compliment. Oh, and thank you for the extra shiny stars, too. It has me smiling. I appreciate the kind comments about the writing. Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi W.J. Debi,
Nice poem of nature and beauty with the great visualization you gave.
Beautiful choice of artwork as well.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*-*)
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2014
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Hi W.J. Debi,
Nice poem of nature and beauty with the great visualization you gave.
Beautiful choice of artwork as well.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*-*)
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2014
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Thank you for such nice comments, Jax. I am delighted with the words "great visualization." I appreciate the encouragement.
Comment from Pyrrho
Reminds me of the arroyo I lived in in Santa Barbara. Does and fawns regularly walk past the back of my home cleaning off the profusion of purple blooms on the morning glory vines.
The ones you saw were probably headed to bed down. Deer are crepuscular (most active during the twilight hours at dusk and dawn), such that they are relatively safe from nocturnal predators.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2014
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Reminds me of the arroyo I lived in in Santa Barbara. Does and fawns regularly walk past the back of my home cleaning off the profusion of purple blooms on the morning glory vines.
The ones you saw were probably headed to bed down. Deer are crepuscular (most active during the twilight hours at dusk and dawn), such that they are relatively safe from nocturnal predators.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2014
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I have heard that about deer, and you are most likely correct that they were on the way to bed down. I wonder if they are just too used to humans around here, because we do see them throughout the day. Maybe we disturb their sleep. I think I was most surprised to see she had twins. Usually, I only see a doe with one fawn. Thank you for the interesting information.
Comment from DerivedBetter
I don't usually like rhyming poetry, but I liked this one. the three rhyming lines makes it more difficult and adds a little to the poem. Good job. thanks for sharing and keep writing.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2014
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I don't usually like rhyming poetry, but I liked this one. the three rhyming lines makes it more difficult and adds a little to the poem. Good job. thanks for sharing and keep writing.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2014
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I am flattered that you liked this, especially since you don't usually like rhyming poetry. Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from krys123
W.j.debi;
I enjoyed reading your poem very much in a gave me great pleasure To visualize your imagery which was so descriptive and expressively interchangeable with each verse. One example of your excellent visualization is: "Makes me grateful for the doe and fawns who walk right past me as the daylight dawns on their way to feed on forest lawns."
It seems your imagination was very gifted in a way that it is very inventive and creative throughout your writing.
Thank you for sharing and posting this and may the sun always shine on your shoulders.
Alex
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2014
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W.j.debi;
I enjoyed reading your poem very much in a gave me great pleasure To visualize your imagery which was so descriptive and expressively interchangeable with each verse. One example of your excellent visualization is: "Makes me grateful for the doe and fawns who walk right past me as the daylight dawns on their way to feed on forest lawns."
It seems your imagination was very gifted in a way that it is very inventive and creative throughout your writing.
Thank you for sharing and posting this and may the sun always shine on your shoulders.
Alex
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2014
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I am delighted you could visualize the imagery. I appreciate the very kind comments and the encouragement. I especially like the blessing of sun shining on my shoulders. Thank you so much.
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You are so sincerely welcome Debi.
Alex
Comment from Titan Black
This is definitely poetic justice.
Your poetic alliteration was on point.
And the fact, that you can enter the
realm of nature and bring this subject
matter fluidly to the forefront, makes
you a great poet. Keep writing.
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reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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This is definitely poetic justice.
Your poetic alliteration was on point.
And the fact, that you can enter the
realm of nature and bring this subject
matter fluidly to the forefront, makes
you a great poet. Keep writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Thank you for the very kind comments, Titan Black. I appreciate the encouragement. Debi
Comment from Kaila Mari
A spiritually motivating poem I like very much.
Your three line stanzas all start with "Make" except for the second to last stanza which distracted me somewhat.
Your rhymes and near rhymes endings lent a beat to the poem.
If perhaps you metered the syllables it would have a stronger meter and rhythmic cadence. There is some good alliteration in cirrus/clouds, me/marvel/mountain, and pause/ponder. If it were not for the rhyme and near-rhyme ending on all lines I would say it is a free verse poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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A spiritually motivating poem I like very much.
Your three line stanzas all start with "Make" except for the second to last stanza which distracted me somewhat.
Your rhymes and near rhymes endings lent a beat to the poem.
If perhaps you metered the syllables it would have a stronger meter and rhythmic cadence. There is some good alliteration in cirrus/clouds, me/marvel/mountain, and pause/ponder. If it were not for the rhyme and near-rhyme ending on all lines I would say it is a free verse poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Thank you for the insightful review. Perhaps I spend too much time with music, where there is always one movement that varies from the rest toward the end and then it returns to the beginning meter, even if it is only a four line song. I've been spending a lot of time with iambic meter lately and needed a change. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
