More than a shirt
A reason to fight - 300 words49 total reviews
Comment from Delahay
I really like the idea of this boy wanting to stand up for what he believed was right and his rights. I have a problem with a principal who would not put and end to a fight among student. Especially when one student is obviously being seriously injured by other students. In real life, I would sue the school and press charges.
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I really like the idea of this boy wanting to stand up for what he believed was right and his rights. I have a problem with a principal who would not put and end to a fight among student. Especially when one student is obviously being seriously injured by other students. In real life, I would sue the school and press charges.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2014
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
Hello there~!
Oh mY! How can they ban students from wearing an American T-shirt on American soil?!?!
Oh God! What's happening in this world!?!
That aside, this is a well-written prose piece. The details (especially of the bitten flesh) made me.. um ... uncomfortable..?
But I liked it!
Good luck in the contest!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)/~KAUSAR~(^_^)
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Hello there~!
Oh mY! How can they ban students from wearing an American T-shirt on American soil?!?!
Oh God! What's happening in this world!?!
That aside, this is a well-written prose piece. The details (especially of the bitten flesh) made me.. um ... uncomfortable..?
But I liked it!
Good luck in the contest!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)/~KAUSAR~(^_^)
Comment Written 28-Jul-2014
Comment from dennis0530
This is writing about fighting for principle.
The character draws inspiration from his father - to fight for what you believe in no matter that the odds are against you. The writing also hints of patriotism and loyalty; honoring fathers who fought and died for the country.
The symbolism of this patriotism is consummated in the line "In the end my body was red, white and blue" and a final cheer for the hero-dad.
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This is writing about fighting for principle.
The character draws inspiration from his father - to fight for what you believe in no matter that the odds are against you. The writing also hints of patriotism and loyalty; honoring fathers who fought and died for the country.
The symbolism of this patriotism is consummated in the line "In the end my body was red, white and blue" and a final cheer for the hero-dad.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2014
Comment from royowen
You can't help feeling for the poor boy that got beaten for simply feeling proud of and honouring those who have fallen! I found this to be well written, a short but absorbing tale, starring a boy who was beaten red,white and blue, well written, good luck, blessings. Roy.
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You can't help feeling for the poor boy that got beaten for simply feeling proud of and honouring those who have fallen! I found this to be well written, a short but absorbing tale, starring a boy who was beaten red,white and blue, well written, good luck, blessings. Roy.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2014
Comment from Twilightspire
A message along with a freakin' awesome story? I'm in!
I love the visual of this piece. A boy fighting for not only his life, but for his patriotic pride. In trying to respect everyone else's culture we seem to gloss right over our own, the problem with a melting pot society where everyone's voice is just as loud their neighbors.
I love the description and he iron hide you gave the protagonist.
Great job with this and good luck in the contest.
-T.J.
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A message along with a freakin' awesome story? I'm in!
I love the visual of this piece. A boy fighting for not only his life, but for his patriotic pride. In trying to respect everyone else's culture we seem to gloss right over our own, the problem with a melting pot society where everyone's voice is just as loud their neighbors.
I love the description and he iron hide you gave the protagonist.
Great job with this and good luck in the contest.
-T.J.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
Comment from Judy Couch
I like it but I also think it's horrible. I hope this type of thing isn't really happening in our schools. Anyone who chooses to live here should adapt to our culture or go back where he came from.
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I like it but I also think it's horrible. I hope this type of thing isn't really happening in our schools. Anyone who chooses to live here should adapt to our culture or go back where he came from.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
Comment from judiverse
I say Hurray for the kid who showed such courage. I have read of these incidents happening where kids got into trouble for wearing his American flag shirt. It is so unfair to single out groups for special attention. The principal reflects the politically correct view, valuing diversity above all. The principal didn't seem to want to protect him from the gang beating up on him. The narrator has his good reasons for wearing the shirt. Too bad the shirt was ripped up, but great conclusion that his body was red, white and blue. Great use of dialogue and just-right characterization. Excellent, and best of luck in the contest. judi
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I say Hurray for the kid who showed such courage. I have read of these incidents happening where kids got into trouble for wearing his American flag shirt. It is so unfair to single out groups for special attention. The principal reflects the politically correct view, valuing diversity above all. The principal didn't seem to want to protect him from the gang beating up on him. The narrator has his good reasons for wearing the shirt. Too bad the shirt was ripped up, but great conclusion that his body was red, white and blue. Great use of dialogue and just-right characterization. Excellent, and best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
Comment from w.j.debi
Well you have certainly chosen a timely topic given the headlines not so long ago. Sad, isn't it, that diversity is preached, but only for some? Why shouldn't he be proud of his heritage and be allowed to wear red, white and blue to celebrate being American?
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Well you have certainly chosen a timely topic given the headlines not so long ago. Sad, isn't it, that diversity is preached, but only for some? Why shouldn't he be proud of his heritage and be allowed to wear red, white and blue to celebrate being American?
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
Comment from adewpearl
Dramatically effective in media res opening
You convey your message in a compelling way with this scene, but it is awfully difficult to believe a school principal would just stand there and allow any child to be kicked and beaten to a bloody pulp without intervening. I can't imagine any principal who would allow a child to come close to death without even trying to help would get to keep his job, and certainly he could even be arrested.
Brooke
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Dramatically effective in media res opening
You convey your message in a compelling way with this scene, but it is awfully difficult to believe a school principal would just stand there and allow any child to be kicked and beaten to a bloody pulp without intervening. I can't imagine any principal who would allow a child to come close to death without even trying to help would get to keep his job, and certainly he could even be arrested.
Brooke
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent! A winner, I would say with its message of patriotism as well as a bow to the illegal immigrant issue.
Creative description of the fight in paragraph one.
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Excellent! A winner, I would say with its message of patriotism as well as a bow to the illegal immigrant issue.
Creative description of the fight in paragraph one.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
