The Crypt of Hubbard Hayle:Part 3
A continuation of the saga of Danny & Timmy...41 total reviews
Comment from GracieAnn
DEan, you have certainly hit the mark of the intended genre of horror on this one. Pretty scary and creepy. Sound word usage with powerful mental imagery. :0 GracieAnn
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DEan, you have certainly hit the mark of the intended genre of horror on this one. Pretty scary and creepy. Sound word usage with powerful mental imagery. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 20-May-2014
Comment from Spitfire
I'm still wondering what happened to turn Timmy into the Incredible Hulk--LOL at least for a few minutes. Great addition with the little old lady warning them to turn back. Excellent work of maintaining suspense.
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I'm still wondering what happened to turn Timmy into the Incredible Hulk--LOL at least for a few minutes. Great addition with the little old lady warning them to turn back. Excellent work of maintaining suspense.
Comment Written 19-May-2014
Comment from forestport12
Some great description of the lady and her wagon. Nicotine teeth made me wince. I love how you use the dark humorous exchanges between them to bolster the very scary story. Can't say she didn't warn them. Makes the back of my hair prickly thinking of what those boys will do...
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Some great description of the lady and her wagon. Nicotine teeth made me wince. I love how you use the dark humorous exchanges between them to bolster the very scary story. Can't say she didn't warn them. Makes the back of my hair prickly thinking of what those boys will do...
Comment Written 19-May-2014
Comment from Linda Engel
exciting adventure for boys and the reader is captured and held waiting the next chapter. very expressive and well developed story line. your little old "crazy hag" is a nice injection to set the tone. the art work is spot on eerie.
this is chapter three? I must go back and catch up.
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exciting adventure for boys and the reader is captured and held waiting the next chapter. very expressive and well developed story line. your little old "crazy hag" is a nice injection to set the tone. the art work is spot on eerie.
this is chapter three? I must go back and catch up.
Comment Written 19-May-2014
Comment from country ranch writer
awe so nice of you to do this for him I won't spoil your image we all have our moments of insanity just joshing I know the real you
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awe so nice of you to do this for him I won't spoil your image we all have our moments of insanity just joshing I know the real you
Comment Written 19-May-2014
Comment from a.w.brooks
Great story But I Feel the story has a little truth to it I remember when I was young walking into the cemetery and seeing some SH$% that wasn't to funny. I know it scared the holy crap out of me LOL but you know when you are kids our imagination runs wild. I have to say the flow of the story went awesome and Love Timmy I don't know why but I did. Thanks for the read and Happy Writing my Friend.
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Great story But I Feel the story has a little truth to it I remember when I was young walking into the cemetery and seeing some SH$% that wasn't to funny. I know it scared the holy crap out of me LOL but you know when you are kids our imagination runs wild. I have to say the flow of the story went awesome and Love Timmy I don't know why but I did. Thanks for the read and Happy Writing my Friend.
Comment Written 19-May-2014
Comment from Michaelk
What a great setup. I am hooked, wondering where all these pieces fit. Will the boys make it to the graveyard? And more importantly, what will they find when they get there? Was the old woman friend or foe? I see an emergence of a most foul nature out of Timmy. Great chapter. Great characters, nice pacing, good build toward the next chapter. Can't wait.
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What a great setup. I am hooked, wondering where all these pieces fit. Will the boys make it to the graveyard? And more importantly, what will they find when they get there? Was the old woman friend or foe? I see an emergence of a most foul nature out of Timmy. Great chapter. Great characters, nice pacing, good build toward the next chapter. Can't wait.
Comment Written 19-May-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
Another fine chapter, Dean. You never seem to disappoint with your fun writing, your full-blown characters and scintillating dialogue ... not to mention (and then he goes about mentioning) your graphics.
No SPAG, at least that I could find. Good pace and we are soooo close to getting them to the top of the hill.
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Another fine chapter, Dean. You never seem to disappoint with your fun writing, your full-blown characters and scintillating dialogue ... not to mention (and then he goes about mentioning) your graphics.
No SPAG, at least that I could find. Good pace and we are soooo close to getting them to the top of the hill.
Comment Written 19-May-2014
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Dean,
I love the artwork you place within your story. It always lends a added dimension to the story.
I like your end hook as well. That one sentence speaks of the boys history together - makes them more real.
Good story with Ms. Dimwitty adding a creep element.
Cheers,
Keep Smilin'... Jax
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Hi Dean,
I love the artwork you place within your story. It always lends a added dimension to the story.
I like your end hook as well. That one sentence speaks of the boys history together - makes them more real.
Good story with Ms. Dimwitty adding a creep element.
Cheers,
Keep Smilin'... Jax
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-May-2014
Comment from Dawn Munro
(")Danny, as God is my witness...(") << the only nit I found in this stellar bit of this story - a tiny punctuation slip - you forgot the quotation marks for dialogue here. (If you intended to leave them off because he 'didn't raise his head' - in other words, it was not spoken aloud but your protagonist somehow 'heard' it, I would put that bit in italics.
Hurry up with the next part, would ya? I'm LOVING this!!!
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(")Danny, as God is my witness...(") << the only nit I found in this stellar bit of this story - a tiny punctuation slip - you forgot the quotation marks for dialogue here. (If you intended to leave them off because he 'didn't raise his head' - in other words, it was not spoken aloud but your protagonist somehow 'heard' it, I would put that bit in italics.
Hurry up with the next part, would ya? I'm LOVING this!!!
Comment Written 19-May-2014