All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Not, Not, NOT!"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
51 total reviews
Comment from Joy Graham
I enjoyed this poem, Sharyn. I'm still scared of things. Guess ill always be a big baby lol! Love the picture and that you were able to share it here. Some of my old photos don't scan well :(. You wrote in a child's voice very well. Well done.
P.S. my daughter and her husband are planning to go to Hawaii next year and wonder if we can get a brochure from you about your bed and breakfast.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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I enjoyed this poem, Sharyn. I'm still scared of things. Guess ill always be a big baby lol! Love the picture and that you were able to share it here. Some of my old photos don't scan well :(. You wrote in a child's voice very well. Well done.
P.S. my daughter and her husband are planning to go to Hawaii next year and wonder if we can get a brochure from you about your bed and breakfast.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Arent you a sweetheart - glad you enjoyed it Joy! You can see my B&B at: http://www.maui-vacationrentals.com or just google "Huelo Pt Lookout" - what fun that would be!
:)S
Comment from A TARNISHED KNIGHT
Ah looking at the past using the eyes of childhood. Fears subdued by a parents hand. How simple things were way back then. Good mind provoking words my friend. Brought back some fine and not so fine memories of days gone by!!
TK
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Ah looking at the past using the eyes of childhood. Fears subdued by a parents hand. How simple things were way back then. Good mind provoking words my friend. Brought back some fine and not so fine memories of days gone by!!
TK
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Indeed my dear - I guess that's what these pieces do, hmm?
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from NicciFaye
Excellent....I've read quite a few for this contest entry all were good thus far but this one really had my attention with the word choice, descriptive nature of the child and his attuitude towards the beach...I enjoyed this...well done.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Excellent....I've read quite a few for this contest entry all were good thus far but this one really had my attention with the word choice, descriptive nature of the child and his attuitude towards the beach...I enjoyed this...well done.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Bless you Nicci - I'm sorry I have had no time to review for the last couple of weeks but today I finished my B&B renewal permit, so I now have my life back! yeah! I look forward to reading you seriously!
:)Sharyn
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Sharyn....no worries....we all have LIVES outside of our passion...I like reading and writing...so while I type this with heavy eyes...lol...I understand!
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Sharyn,
First that is a treasure of a photo. I enjoyed just looking at it for a few moments. I have next to nothing from my childhood so I always find it so meaningful when others post such a picture that makes me smile.
Your work from a child's perspective is a beauty. Well penned as always ( probably sick of hearing that, but how many ways can you say well penned:D)
Great submission I enjoyed it and found it a great read.
Thanks for sharing it and good luck.
Maureen
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Hi Sharyn,
First that is a treasure of a photo. I enjoyed just looking at it for a few moments. I have next to nothing from my childhood so I always find it so meaningful when others post such a picture that makes me smile.
Your work from a child's perspective is a beauty. Well penned as always ( probably sick of hearing that, but how many ways can you say well penned:D)
Great submission I enjoyed it and found it a great read.
Thanks for sharing it and good luck.
Maureen
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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A few years ago my mother gave me all our old family photos which she had put on disc Maureen. I'd thought they were lost in the bad floods our home went thru in the 70s but apparently not! You're right - they sure brought back memories! I used a LOT of them in my show, so it was very easy to recall the emotions. And yes, this picture really is special, isn't it?
Blessings, as always,
Sharyn
Comment from Pili Pubul
You did an excellent poem , it really reflects the child perspective, the excitement to adventure that is dangerous, but curiosity is stronger. She'll he was holding daddy's hand, fortunately not ready yet to do it alone, yet we know that day will come, parents nightmare.... Pili
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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You did an excellent poem , it really reflects the child perspective, the excitement to adventure that is dangerous, but curiosity is stronger. She'll he was holding daddy's hand, fortunately not ready yet to do it alone, yet we know that day will come, parents nightmare.... Pili
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much Pili! :)S
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You very welcome. Pili
Comment from mumsyone
Hi Sharyn,
Cute picture, and I can understand the feelings of a little one going into that big ocean for the first time. Great poem. Good luck in the contest.
Lois
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Hi Sharyn,
Cute picture, and I can understand the feelings of a little one going into that big ocean for the first time. Great poem. Good luck in the contest.
Lois
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much Lois! :)S
Comment from Deniz22
This may be the bestest picture of you yet! LOL I'm encouraged to use "bestest" by you use of "gianter" in reference to shark teeth!
Seriously, sweet that you have these early 1900's photos and memories to share with us. A wonderful sentiment;Dad holding your hand against the mysteries and dangers of the sea of life. :)
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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This may be the bestest picture of you yet! LOL I'm encouraged to use "bestest" by you use of "gianter" in reference to shark teeth!
Seriously, sweet that you have these early 1900's photos and memories to share with us. A wonderful sentiment;Dad holding your hand against the mysteries and dangers of the sea of life. :)
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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oh and here was I thinking you were going to be NICE!!!!!!!!! OUCH! STAB! WHACK! I'M DEVASTATED! I'M OFF TO CRY FOR A WHILE NOW ...
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Computer has been down so belated apologies for making you cry (that'll be the day that you cry)! I'm back, and meaner than ever! :)
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OH really ... zzzz ... didn't notice you'd gone ...zzzz
:)
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You know you love me and you missed me...you're just trying to be strong!
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Of course I am ... zzzzzz ...
Comment from alexgeorge
Yep. Daddys provide cofort and the sense of safety children need. A mom provides warmth and affection, a dad can too, but his larger frame and masculine aura instinctively set the children at ease when facing hurdles.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Yep. Daddys provide cofort and the sense of safety children need. A mom provides warmth and affection, a dad can too, but his larger frame and masculine aura instinctively set the children at ease when facing hurdles.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Thx so much alex - so glad you enjoyed this little one!
:: Sharyn
Comment from Lulube
A poetic childrens`view. Much like telling a story in a childs`viewpoint. same same same. Great story. For a moment there I thought someone was body surfing exactly same type of experience , before any sharks. Loved it
lulube
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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A poetic childrens`view. Much like telling a story in a childs`viewpoint. same same same. Great story. For a moment there I thought someone was body surfing exactly same type of experience , before any sharks. Loved it
lulube
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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thx so much Lu! :)S
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welcome
lulube
Comment from Hollyhock
Absolutely delightful, and the child's perspective came across so clearly.
Your language and repetition is typical of a young child, they delight in being awaed to the point of terror, secretly knowing they are quite safe - "'cos/ my dad/ is holding/ my/ hand"- Great way to end this poem whichj until this point has been an outpouring of infant enthusiasm for all things big and scarey.
Wonderful movement in the second stanza, replicating the tumble of the child and the waves. Apparently "incidental" rhyming all adds to the fluency and force of the poem.
Good job, good luck.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Absolutely delightful, and the child's perspective came across so clearly.
Your language and repetition is typical of a young child, they delight in being awaed to the point of terror, secretly knowing they are quite safe - "'cos/ my dad/ is holding/ my/ hand"- Great way to end this poem whichj until this point has been an outpouring of infant enthusiasm for all things big and scarey.
Wonderful movement in the second stanza, replicating the tumble of the child and the waves. Apparently "incidental" rhyming all adds to the fluency and force of the poem.
Good job, good luck.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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You write such wonderful reviews Andrea! thank you so much!
:)Sharyn