All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "As Trade Winds Sing"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
55 total reviews
Comment from Treischel
A lovely written example of the beautiful Rondeau format. The sea breezes sing in your verse. The alliteration is profuse and exquisite. The poetic imagery of ocean setting is wonderful. A wonderful entrant into the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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A lovely written example of the beautiful Rondeau format. The sea breezes sing in your verse. The alliteration is profuse and exquisite. The poetic imagery of ocean setting is wonderful. A wonderful entrant into the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much Treischel!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Black_Oxygen
Well Done ~ Sharyn
The is poetry transports the reader to a beautiful place.
The rhymes are not forced the flow is fluid. The attached
photo is a giant mirror that reflects the message. Thank
You for your creation.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Well Done ~ Sharyn
The is poetry transports the reader to a beautiful place.
The rhymes are not forced the flow is fluid. The attached
photo is a giant mirror that reflects the message. Thank
You for your creation.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much Ron!
Bless you!
Sharyn
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is beautifully written and shows love in a most lovely place.. I was enjoying it and then you smacked me in the face with tossing ashes into the air... sad ending, yet the right ending. This is where they lived and loved and where he should be. :)
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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This is beautifully written and shows love in a most lovely place.. I was enjoying it and then you smacked me in the face with tossing ashes into the air... sad ending, yet the right ending. This is where they lived and loved and where he should be. :)
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Bless you Phyllis - I haven't written one of these before and I must say it's a beautifully musical form, though not an easy one to write, given all the damned like rhymes you have to find (and which have to make sense!)
:)S
Comment from GregoryCody
I have No idea how you accomplished this and managed to make a Beautiful piece at that. After reading your notes it appears impossible but you have mastered this feat incredibly. "Sea-weed sways like tall bamboo"...beautiful imagery, and vivid imagery throughout. Are the ashes meant literally? I almost had tears in my eyes at the last line. "Two hearts tear". Again, such a beautiful piece, and the fact that you fit it in these requirements is nothing short of genius. Truly impressed.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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I have No idea how you accomplished this and managed to make a Beautiful piece at that. After reading your notes it appears impossible but you have mastered this feat incredibly. "Sea-weed sways like tall bamboo"...beautiful imagery, and vivid imagery throughout. Are the ashes meant literally? I almost had tears in my eyes at the last line. "Two hearts tear". Again, such a beautiful piece, and the fact that you fit it in these requirements is nothing short of genius. Truly impressed.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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I have no idea how I accomplished this one either, Greg. I haven't tried this form before. I started it last night - got one line and chewed a pencil for half an hour. Put it away and went and watched a movie instead. Woke up this morning to a nice up of tea and a quiet house, thank goodness. That helps a lot! So glad you enjoyed this one, and I'm honored by your six. And yes, ashes, literally ... it's the custom in Hawaii ... and then plumeria - but I couldn't fit those in as well!
:)Sharyn
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Once again, emotional ad beautiful. You deserve a seven...
Comment from honeytree
I really loved both the art work and words for this poem.
The words were extremely creative and beautiful to read.
Great writing and I loved every word written for this poem.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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I really loved both the art work and words for this poem.
The words were extremely creative and beautiful to read.
Great writing and I loved every word written for this poem.
Honey tree
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much honeytree ! I really appreciate your lovely review and your especially wonderful six!
:)Sharyn
Comment from MizKat
I love your rondeau poem, Sharyn. You did a great job in writing it. I don't remember if I've tried this style or not, but it sounds like fun. Kat
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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I love your rondeau poem, Sharyn. You did a great job in writing it. I don't remember if I've tried this style or not, but it sounds like fun. Kat
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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It is fun Kat - go for it! :)))
Comment from Robert Lee Brown
You did an excellent job in writing your first Rondeau. I want to see you write more. It is a happy-sad write but such is part of life. Your word selection is great and the reader can feel the spirit of the moment as it is being read. Thanks you for sharing. Your friend, Bob
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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You did an excellent job in writing your first Rondeau. I want to see you write more. It is a happy-sad write but such is part of life. Your word selection is great and the reader can feel the spirit of the moment as it is being read. Thanks you for sharing. Your friend, Bob
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Bless you, Bob - so glad you enjoyed this one! I've never written one before and they're actually quite challenging!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Quillian
A beautiful poem of love. It comes as such a sudden shock 'I cast your ashes high ...'. I admire that you can write such lovely, flowing lines within such constraints of the Rondeau.
Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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A beautiful poem of love. It comes as such a sudden shock 'I cast your ashes high ...'. I admire that you can write such lovely, flowing lines within such constraints of the Rondeau.
Well done.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much Quillian! these things are actually quite hard to write - so glad you liked it!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Sasha
I wish I had a 6 to give you for this stunning Rondeau. This is brilliantly written with awesome imagery. You have written a marvelous entry for this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best. Really terrific work with this one.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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I wish I had a 6 to give you for this stunning Rondeau. This is brilliantly written with awesome imagery. You have written a marvelous entry for this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best. Really terrific work with this one.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Bless you for your lavish praise dear! I was pleased with how it finally turned out (after having beaten my head against a brick wall the night before)
:)Sharyn
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Sharyn,
the warmth of vision in your fist stanza, set up a beautiful Rondeau... Love your imagery as you brought back sweet memories of hot days down here romping in the warm salt water, unfortunately the weather has cooled. So thank you very much for your love affair that was truly worth the six I haven't got. All the best for this contest Sharyn,this is a stunner, loved the flow you created with your care-free style.
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Hi Sharyn,
the warmth of vision in your fist stanza, set up a beautiful Rondeau... Love your imagery as you brought back sweet memories of hot days down here romping in the warm salt water, unfortunately the weather has cooled. So thank you very much for your love affair that was truly worth the six I haven't got. All the best for this contest Sharyn,this is a stunner, loved the flow you created with your care-free style.
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Thx so much James! I actually posted this one by mistake, do you believe! I was intending to post it later, when people had a new supply of sixes - but I guess my index finger had other plans! oh dear! always lovely to hear form you though.
:)Sharyn