Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

I see the biosphere in old Virge. Rabbit is so innocent, trying to save the Ernest. In a way this tells us in order to survive we have to learn to fit in because being different may get us picked on or even worse killed.It's even true today in this uncivilized world.

Your dialogue and narration flow nicely. This was another fine addition to your story. Rabbit continues to learn from Virge's wisdom.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2013

Thanks for reading and your comments. I appreciate both! Bill

Comment from highlander104

Exceptional

I enjoyed this chapter with its parable-like story. It would appear that humans and animals share the same mindsets. Nature isn't nearly as mean.

Good one!

Jean K.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2013

Thank you Jean. I'm glad that you stopped by. With so few sixes to work with, I'm always humbled to get one. Warm regards, Bill

Comment from CR Delport

Excellent

Another good chapter that is well written, well edited, and well delivered. The story flows nicely, the dialogue is easy to follow, and I could find no obvious errors. You are right about chickens, they are stupid. I used to breed with them and can confirm :)

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2013

Thanks for reading and for your very kind feedback. Where are your from in South Africa. I've been to your country many times. One of my favorite places! Bill

reply by CR Delport on 20-Mar-2013

I am from Walkerville, just south of Johannesburg.

reply by the author on 20-Mar-2013

I generally visited on business, so spent a lot of time in Sandton.

reply by CR Delport on 20-Mar-2013

I work in Sandton :) Do you still come here?

reply by the author on 20-Mar-2013

No, last trip was in 2003. I worked for a company that sold commercial carpet. Sold a bunch there.

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

Hey, Bill, seems that you've got a little parable working here. You've got Rabbitt's 'voice' down, especially when he's describing the 'dumbness' of chickens.
This seems an odd place to break your chapter, but I'll wait for the next installment--I'm sure your reason will become clear.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2013

Thanks for reading Lee and I appreciate your comments. The other part of the chapter was quite humorous, and it just didn't seem to fit to me. Bill

Comment from garrymc5

Excellent

A good hard-bitten view of the world by thems that know.
Love the 'making snese of the world' that people engage in, based on their occupation and limited experience. Nicely depicted. This feels like it stems from the nasty experiences of the era. I'm convinced, Well done.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2013

Thanks for reading and your kind feedback! Bill

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, bhott, you id a great job writing this chapter where rabbit learns a lesson about animal nature adn human nature. i enjoyed reading it

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2013

Thanks for reading and your comments. I appreciate both! Regards, Bill

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Oh wow, this is a really profound chapter, my friend. I loved it, though I am disturbed by it. One edit: "I'll get (to) it if you'll << you had one too many 'o's in 'to'. I love this story! Can't wait for the next chapter!

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2013

Thanks for reading and for the spot! Bill

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

I'm laughing at the stupidity of the drowning chickens LOL
great description of Ernest and what happened to him/her
gathering him up, I applied - add comma
Animal's just don't cotton - drop the apostrophe
Your daddy and my nephew Joe, went off - drop the comma
I'll get too it if - to it
something in it's blood just makes it - drop the apostrophe
Wow, that is some interweaving of the chicken story and the human war story - most compelling - I do love Virge
Brooke :-)

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2013

Thanks for reading and for your helpful comments. I truly do appreciate both. Always warm regards, Bill

Comment from Slythytove2

Exceptional

This chapter stands alone! Even if it wasn't connected in a book form this chapter could stand alone.My mind couldn't help but drift off while reading. I'm going to have a good think about it because it sounds like something not yet understood. Like maybe an "ecological imperative".Thanks for the tale.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2013

Thank you for reading and the kind and generous feedback. We get so few sixes that I'm always humbled. Regards, Bill

reply by Slythytove2 on 20-Mar-2013

Your more than welcome.

Comment from Write-4-Fun

Excellent

Shorter sentences and unique dialect lend to picturing the characters, farm, even the animals. Rabbit might have earned his nickname, since Virge made him slow down and prepared him to accept the lesson to be learned.

Something that might add to the picture of the story would be to take out vague descriptions and substitute more definite words -- i.e., other chickens -- could be Red Rock or bantam chickens.

I also make it a habit to review my sentences and take out any unnecessary "that"s. If I take it out and it still make sense, I don't need it.

But overall, great little chapter. I'm a farm girl so I can identify with the whole chicken scene. Great job.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2013

Thanks for reading and for the observations. I appreciate both. Regards, Bill