Tree Tag
A psychological trip.41 total reviews
Comment from Cooper Watt
Interesting story, my friend. It was a dead give-away, for me at least, with the "Mr. Presi...", but not matter - I was still hooked on the tale.
It's sometimes hard to fathom that Presidents and Prime Ministers are just like the rest of us, in that they can have all the same foibles and fucked-up thoughts we all have.
Stay cool, brother.
Coop.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2012
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Interesting story, my friend. It was a dead give-away, for me at least, with the "Mr. Presi...", but not matter - I was still hooked on the tale.
It's sometimes hard to fathom that Presidents and Prime Ministers are just like the rest of us, in that they can have all the same foibles and fucked-up thoughts we all have.
Stay cool, brother.
Coop.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2012
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Hey, Coop! Where have you been, brother? I had written you off as a dropout. Anyway, it's good to hear from you.
Yes, this story is a bit of a departure for me. Kind of an experiment. But you've missed a lot of good stuff, buddy.
I hope all is well, and you'll make another appearance soon.
Thanks. Peace, Lee
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Not a dropout, just a dimming of the fire. That and the baseball season - I coach two teams. My Major Little League team is in the Championship game this afternoon - I think I'm more nervous than the majority of my players!! I'm always around, Lee. And yours are the only stories I gravitate to when the spirit moves me.
Later, brother.
Coop.
Comment from kiwisteveh
OK this is definitely a bit different - deeper and more complex than your other recent pieces, with a whiff of Stephen King in there.
Why two psychiatrists I wonder? So they can bounce ideas off each other I guess and promote that ending....
I do heartily agree with your note about the unfathomable nature of the mind which makes this whole tale more than believable.
Steve
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2012
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OK this is definitely a bit different - deeper and more complex than your other recent pieces, with a whiff of Stephen King in there.
Why two psychiatrists I wonder? So they can bounce ideas off each other I guess and promote that ending....
I do heartily agree with your note about the unfathomable nature of the mind which makes this whole tale more than believable.
Steve
Comment Written 24-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2012
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You're right, Steve. I set out to write one thing, and it kind of got away from me. Still, there are a few elements I like. Got to change the pace once in a while. Thanks for the read and the comments. Peace, Lee
Comment from Silverlock
'Who's on first, what's on second, I don't know's on third?' or something along those lines...LOL that came back to me as soon as I read it. Must have been one of my supressed memories!!
I liked this story, Lee, I thought you developed the story line very well with both the memory and the interaction between the characters. In fact you could have ended the story with
Jack buried his head in his hands. "Oh, Beansy. What were you doing in a tree?"
and it would still have been a very powerful story.
Enjoyable narrative style, and easy to picture each scene, very nicely done.
Regards, Barb
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2012
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'Who's on first, what's on second, I don't know's on third?' or something along those lines...LOL that came back to me as soon as I read it. Must have been one of my supressed memories!!
I liked this story, Lee, I thought you developed the story line very well with both the memory and the interaction between the characters. In fact you could have ended the story with
Jack buried his head in his hands. "Oh, Beansy. What were you doing in a tree?"
and it would still have been a very powerful story.
Enjoyable narrative style, and easy to picture each scene, very nicely done.
Regards, Barb
Comment Written 24-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2012
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Thank you, Barb. You now, I contemplated ending the story at that point, but I thought I need to say a couple more things. In retrospect, in may be clumsy. I'm glad you enjoyed.
Peace, Lee
Comment from LancsLass
Hmm, very interesting, particularly interesting story idea. And as usual it all happened in front of my eyes.
I few typos, I think:
'(He) raised one of (my) own'
'or even a dirt track leading to (the) place.'
'the Secret Service nor any other agency has been able to come up (with) any documentation'
'Jack rubbed (my) hands together.'
Also, just an observation, the change of scene to where the doctors are alone after the session is a bit abrupt with it not being immediately clear that the scene has changed until the 'somewhat contrived' point is made by the doc.
It didn't spoil this absorbing story for me, not at all, but didn't quite reach your usual high standard of transition, I thought. :)
Very well written and thought out.
A great read. Anna
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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Hmm, very interesting, particularly interesting story idea. And as usual it all happened in front of my eyes.
I few typos, I think:
'(He) raised one of (my) own'
'or even a dirt track leading to (the) place.'
'the Secret Service nor any other agency has been able to come up (with) any documentation'
'Jack rubbed (my) hands together.'
Also, just an observation, the change of scene to where the doctors are alone after the session is a bit abrupt with it not being immediately clear that the scene has changed until the 'somewhat contrived' point is made by the doc.
It didn't spoil this absorbing story for me, not at all, but didn't quite reach your usual high standard of transition, I thought. :)
Very well written and thought out.
A great read. Anna
Comment Written 24-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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Thank you, Anna. Good to hear from you. Yes, I tried to write a more complex story this time. You're probably right about the bumpy ending. I'm going to have to think that through so more.
Thanks for the spag alerts, I think I've fixed them all.
Thanks also for all the kind words.
Peace, Lee
Comment from IndianaIrish
Your story sure lands a punch to the gut, Lee. I loved the symbol of the orchard and the trees that represented the twisted, gnarly thoughts in his head. A sad story told in your perfect style of grand characters and dialogue. I jotted some notes while reading...
He also wondered (if)of every patient routinely shrank his shrink.
He raised one of (his)my own.
Ricky veered just out of range of Danny('s) swatting hand.
looking up little Betsy Sue's(delete comma), dress
"Afraid of the men in the black pajamas are gonna get you?" (great foreshadow)
leaned forward with her knees on her elbows (ummmmm is that even possible? lol)
"Where was Barry that summer?" ("Was Barry there that summer?")
Jack rubbed (his)my hands together.
this is a story that leaves a lasting impression, hw.
Smiles,
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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Your story sure lands a punch to the gut, Lee. I loved the symbol of the orchard and the trees that represented the twisted, gnarly thoughts in his head. A sad story told in your perfect style of grand characters and dialogue. I jotted some notes while reading...
He also wondered (if)of every patient routinely shrank his shrink.
He raised one of (his)my own.
Ricky veered just out of range of Danny('s) swatting hand.
looking up little Betsy Sue's(delete comma), dress
"Afraid of the men in the black pajamas are gonna get you?" (great foreshadow)
leaned forward with her knees on her elbows (ummmmm is that even possible? lol)
"Where was Barry that summer?" ("Was Barry there that summer?")
Jack rubbed (his)my hands together.
this is a story that leaves a lasting impression, hw.
Smiles,
Indy :>)
Comment Written 23-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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Hey, Indy, thank you. Yes, I tried to write a more complex story this time--both in form and content. Thanks for noticing. Also, for the many spag alerts. This piece kept changing, but I guess I overlooked some of the changes.
Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Comment from Cornelius2000
I don't know how you do it, coming up with story after story on all different topics. This one really gets one thinking about what we don't know about all the men who have been elected president of this and other countries. Of what might be in their background that could influence their decisions.
As always, it's beautifully written, with humor and believable dialogue. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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I don't know how you do it, coming up with story after story on all different topics. This one really gets one thinking about what we don't know about all the men who have been elected president of this and other countries. Of what might be in their background that could influence their decisions.
As always, it's beautifully written, with humor and believable dialogue. Nicely done.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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Thank you, Cornelius. I appreciate you noticing that I try to different kinds of stories. I'm glad you found something to think about in this one. Thank you again. Peace, Lee
Comment from BethShelby
This is a bit of a different style for you. I kept thinking you were somehow tying this to Jack Kennedy but wasn't heading that way. I found it a little more difficult to keep up with because some of the time it seemed to be from Jack viewpoint but later I couldn't tell if he was telling the story or remembering it because of the way you did the quotes.
In the end it isn't from Jack viewpoint because he has left the scene and it is dialogue between the two phychirist.
He also wondered of every patient (if every patient)
"Where was Barry there that summer?" (Was Barry there that summer?)
I enjoyed the story. You always tell an interesting tale. Maybe the things I mentioned is just me.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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This is a bit of a different style for you. I kept thinking you were somehow tying this to Jack Kennedy but wasn't heading that way. I found it a little more difficult to keep up with because some of the time it seemed to be from Jack viewpoint but later I couldn't tell if he was telling the story or remembering it because of the way you did the quotes.
In the end it isn't from Jack viewpoint because he has left the scene and it is dialogue between the two phychirist.
He also wondered of every patient (if every patient)
"Where was Barry there that summer?" (Was Barry there that summer?)
I enjoyed the story. You always tell an interesting tale. Maybe the things I mentioned is just me.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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Thank you, Beth. Yes, this one is different. Trying to stretch my abilities a bit. And you're right, it did get a little bumpy switching back and forth between the present and the past. I'll try to iron that out. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed, and I thank you for your careful read. Peace, Lee
Comment from c_lucas
Anybody can fall to pieces, given the right circumstances. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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Anybody can fall to pieces, given the right circumstances. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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Thank you, Charlie. That was pretty much what I was trying to say. I'm glad you saw it. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
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You're welcome, Lee.
Comment from donaldww
I enjoyed your psychological trip with Jack, Dr. Chapman and Dr. Ballard. Great dialogue and interaction between Jack and Ms. B.
I liked the use of 'tell' which I know in its noun form from playing poker. This was a great pair of lines: Definitely a tell. Now all Jack had to do was figure out what it told.
Great ending too. Has an X-files quality about it.
Excellent!
DW
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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I enjoyed your psychological trip with Jack, Dr. Chapman and Dr. Ballard. Great dialogue and interaction between Jack and Ms. B.
I liked the use of 'tell' which I know in its noun form from playing poker. This was a great pair of lines: Definitely a tell. Now all Jack had to do was figure out what it told.
Great ending too. Has an X-files quality about it.
Excellent!
DW
Comment Written 23-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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Thank you, DW. Yes, I tried to give this one a little feel of the paranormal. I'm glad it connected with you. Thank you again. Peace, Lee
Comment from Deejharrington
WoW! Count me impressed. You should have entered this in to the contest writing about "Insanity". This was an amazing trip through a man's memories and how the mind works to make them into something we can live with. Those sent to war are not the only ones with PTS.
deb
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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WoW! Count me impressed. You should have entered this in to the contest writing about "Insanity". This was an amazing trip through a man's memories and how the mind works to make them into something we can live with. Those sent to war are not the only ones with PTS.
deb
Comment Written 23-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2012
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Thank you so much, Deb. I did try to write something a little more complex this time around. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
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you're welcome
deb