Pursuit
Modern day tracker33 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, sue, a great job writing this story about the man who was fighting to survive and time was running out. i wish you the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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this is very well written, sue, a great job writing this story about the man who was fighting to survive and time was running out. i wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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Hi Pam, thanks! I am trying to enter more. It's fun, regardless. I'm glad to hear from you Sweet! ")) xoxo, susan
Comment from Semchuva
The story drew me in. I would like to know the Marshall's fate. A few areas seemed a bit out of place. The following needs work to be proper grammatically: At the low-life he was after, and the big cat that had spooked his horse. And, the criminal is labeled a low-life here, but later he's described as: All for some guy whose only crime so far was stashing guns. The two descriptions seem at odds with each other unless the Marshall thinks it through and changes his mind. Keep up the good work!
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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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The story drew me in. I would like to know the Marshall's fate. A few areas seemed a bit out of place. The following needs work to be proper grammatically: At the low-life he was after, and the big cat that had spooked his horse. And, the criminal is labeled a low-life here, but later he's described as: All for some guy whose only crime so far was stashing guns. The two descriptions seem at odds with each other unless the Marshall thinks it through and changes his mind. Keep up the good work!
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Comment Written 10-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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Hi there! I changed the word low-life to 'man', good point. And I intentionally left the ending open to imagination. What can I do to have you raise this rating? I am open to more ideas. Thanks.... Susan
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I have read a few entries for this contest today. Your's is very good. Godo luck
Clenching his teeth, the Marshall looked upward, toward where the trail had caved in. (Shouldn't use many words ending with 'ing', certainly don't start a paragraph with one. Try----With clenched teeth, the Marshall...)
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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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I have read a few entries for this contest today. Your's is very good. Godo luck
Clenching his teeth, the Marshall looked upward, toward where the trail had caved in. (Shouldn't use many words ending with 'ing', certainly don't start a paragraph with one. Try----With clenched teeth, the Marshall...)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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Hi Barb! YES! You were so right...I went back and took out the 'ing' words...way too many. THANK YOU! Perfect help and I really appreciate this! Hugs and many thanks. xoxo, susan
