Ice Chips and Puckered Lips
My Father and Mother's Last Goodbye47 total reviews
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Katie,
I have lost my parents and my husband and am no stranger to grief. This poem is so indicative of two people that have been together for many years and now one is dying. I fell the pathos in each line. Your words are well chosen and tell this story well. Good luck in the contest....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Hi Katie,
I have lost my parents and my husband and am no stranger to grief. This poem is so indicative of two people that have been together for many years and now one is dying. I fell the pathos in each line. Your words are well chosen and tell this story well. Good luck in the contest....blessings, chey
Comment Written 09-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Chey, So sorry for all you have lost. Grief is such a strong emotion, this is my frist real experience with it. I am blessed to have an outlet such as writing. It helps put things into perspective and releases pent up emotions. Thank you so much for your kind words and review. Blessings, Katie.
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writing has always been cathartic to me so keep doing it!
Comment from Amicus
This is a poignant and well constructed story in a poem, Katie. It reads smoothly and has a satisfying rhythm and rhyme scheme but what really makes the poem is that ice chips and puckered lips imagery that you utilize so well.
Nice job.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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This is a poignant and well constructed story in a poem, Katie. It reads smoothly and has a satisfying rhythm and rhyme scheme but what really makes the poem is that ice chips and puckered lips imagery that you utilize so well.
Nice job.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Amicus, Thank you so much for the encouragement! I am so glad that the imagery worked. This was an emotional piece to write, but it felt good to get it on paper. Blessings, Katie
Comment from Jennlynne
So sad and beautiful Katie. Watching a loved one slip away is never easy. The love these two display in your words is so tender and hope that they will be together again is so wonderful. A lovely tribute.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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So sad and beautiful Katie. Watching a loved one slip away is never easy. The love these two display in your words is so tender and hope that they will be together again is so wonderful. A lovely tribute.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Jennlynne, Thank you for your kind words. Watching the love that they share in my father's last days, and weeks was special. Blessings, Katie
Comment from Idamarty
This poem brought tears to my eyes.....it was so beautifully written and with so much heartfelt emotion. I relate so much to this poem because I too watched my mother say goodbye to my father at his bedside. You are right though, when you say `We`ll meet again at heaven`s gate`....my mother joined my father four years later and they were both taken away too soon. Our hope is in the reunion after we are taken from here. Thanks so much for sharing and God bless.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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This poem brought tears to my eyes.....it was so beautifully written and with so much heartfelt emotion. I relate so much to this poem because I too watched my mother say goodbye to my father at his bedside. You are right though, when you say `We`ll meet again at heaven`s gate`....my mother joined my father four years later and they were both taken away too soon. Our hope is in the reunion after we are taken from here. Thanks so much for sharing and God bless.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Idamarty, thank you so much for your understanding read and review. I am so sorry you lost your parents so close together. I really appreciate your comments. Blessings, Katie
Comment from gazzagodbod
what a wonderful and personal piece this is it truly is a hard time when cancer strikes and causes so much grief rhe poem is very well written and flows beautifully thank you so much for sharing so personal a piece gazzagodbod
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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what a wonderful and personal piece this is it truly is a hard time when cancer strikes and causes so much grief rhe poem is very well written and flows beautifully thank you so much for sharing so personal a piece gazzagodbod
Comment Written 09-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Gazzagodbod, thank you for your encouraging comments. I'm so glad you like this piece.
Comment from words
What a beautiful poem.
You captured a life full of love in these few verses.
I love your poignant ending:Lovingly feeding him ice chips
He leans his head to the side
She bends down to kiss her love,
With puckered lips they say goodbye.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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What a beautiful poem.
You captured a life full of love in these few verses.
I love your poignant ending:Lovingly feeding him ice chips
He leans his head to the side
She bends down to kiss her love,
With puckered lips they say goodbye.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Words, thank you so much for your kind words. I am so glad you liked the ending. That was truely the last thing my father did before he died. It was so beautiful that his last moments were for my mother. Blessings, katie
Comment from cocobuddy
I am sorry to hear of your fathers passing. My friend lost her father last year when he was diagnosed with leukemia he was taken from her suddenly only weeks later. Your poem was well written and your father would be proud of you. As you said It was beautiful and sad and that is what you were able to portray in your poem. Well done keep writing it has brought tears to my eyes.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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I am sorry to hear of your fathers passing. My friend lost her father last year when he was diagnosed with leukemia he was taken from her suddenly only weeks later. Your poem was well written and your father would be proud of you. As you said It was beautiful and sad and that is what you were able to portray in your poem. Well done keep writing it has brought tears to my eyes.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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cocobuddy, I am so glad that the meaning of my poem came through. Although I was very sad, the love my parents were able to express in the last weeks, and days of his life was beautiful. Thank you for your time. Blessings, katie
Comment from Janie King
Life here isn't fair by any means. My dad and mom had 51 years. Mom's 88 now and daddy's been gone almost 15 years. I found her inher bedroom a couple of weeks ago kissing daddy's picture and telling him he wouldn't have to wait much longer for her, sh was coming soon. There's nothing more precious for a child to remeber all the love their parents had for each other. We are both blessed, our's loved each other and they both raised us. God bless.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Life here isn't fair by any means. My dad and mom had 51 years. Mom's 88 now and daddy's been gone almost 15 years. I found her inher bedroom a couple of weeks ago kissing daddy's picture and telling him he wouldn't have to wait much longer for her, sh was coming soon. There's nothing more precious for a child to remeber all the love their parents had for each other. We are both blessed, our's loved each other and they both raised us. God bless.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Janie, wow what a wonderful story of love. You are right we are blessed that our parents shared a genuine love. I appricate your understanding words. Thank you for sharing. Blessings, Katie
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I felt the emotion of the situation in the writing of this poem. You did an excellent job choosing the perfect words. I will pray for your family.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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I felt the emotion of the situation in the writing of this poem. You did an excellent job choosing the perfect words. I will pray for your family.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Barbara, Thank you so much. I'm glad the emotion came out in this piece. I appreciate the prayers too. Blessings, Katie
Comment from adewpearl
You use abcb rhyming well in this most poignant story poem.
You tell the story of your parents' final time together with intense and compelling emotion.
I just love the visual of your mom feeding your dad ice chips and then that tender final kiss. You have me crying. Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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You use abcb rhyming well in this most poignant story poem.
You tell the story of your parents' final time together with intense and compelling emotion.
I just love the visual of your mom feeding your dad ice chips and then that tender final kiss. You have me crying. Brooke :-)
Comment Written 09-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2011
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Brooke, thank you. It was a true miracle that he came to enough for one final kiss. I was honored to be a witness to it. Thank you for the kind words and review. Blessings, Katie