The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "A Plea Bargain?"A family learns their father is a serial killer
34 total reviews
Comment from JRGarland
I'm enjoying this story emensely. The pace and flow of this work is steady and the wording is easily followed. I couldn't find any flaws as I read it. It is an excellent piece!!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2011
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I'm enjoying this story emensely. The pace and flow of this work is steady and the wording is easily followed. I couldn't find any flaws as I read it. It is an excellent piece!!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much. I am thrilled you are enjoying this.
Comment from RebelRose
under mind...undermine
Another great chapter with good dialogue. The story flows well with the ability to grasp and hold the readers undivided attention. I enjoyed this. Looking forward to more.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2011
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under mind...undermine
Another great chapter with good dialogue. The story flows well with the ability to grasp and hold the readers undivided attention. I enjoyed this. Looking forward to more.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2011
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Thanks for catching that. I knew it was wrong but couldn't think of what the right word was. Glad you liked this one.
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I checked with my dictionary to be sure before I corrected it.
Comment from Belinda
Sorry if I help comparing this new version with the old one. But I have to admit I like the new mom much better. I feel like congratulating her when she admits that she loves the man in her mind, and hates the man in reality. Interesting chapter, though the first paragraphs are rather hard to 'enter'.
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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2011
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Sorry if I help comparing this new version with the old one. But I have to admit I like the new mom much better. I feel like congratulating her when she admits that she loves the man in her mind, and hates the man in reality. Interesting chapter, though the first paragraphs are rather hard to 'enter'.
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Comment Written 21-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2011
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I like this version of Mom too. I'll take a look at the first few paragraphs and see if I can improve them.
Comment from adewpearl
had begun to under mind his ability - undermine
Charlie was popular and He didn't understand - he
had few friends, being the smartest - replace comma with period
What's going on, Mom - add comma for direct address
Oh, my beloved old friend who walks like a duck, wears false teeth and has gotten sunburn in her blind eye - considering all that, I think you should be darned pleased with your short SPAG list. Brooke :-)
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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2011
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had begun to under mind his ability - undermine
Charlie was popular and He didn't understand - he
had few friends, being the smartest - replace comma with period
What's going on, Mom - add comma for direct address
Oh, my beloved old friend who walks like a duck, wears false teeth and has gotten sunburn in her blind eye - considering all that, I think you should be darned pleased with your short SPAG list. Brooke :-)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2011
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I am going to print it out and have it framed!!! Thanks for finding the spags....I forgot to mention the doctor put drops in my good eye, so just like Charlie, I am blurred.
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You realize, Valerie, you're a mess. LOL :-)
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Yup, and I left out most of seriously cool stuff on my growing list of 'faults'. Maybe I'll write an essay about them.....sounds like a winner to me.