Rooted in Dixie
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Day Willpower Died"My early life and Southern roots
42 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Everyday when the candy bar arrived - Every day - as one word everyday is an adjective, as in everyday clothes.
What a fun ending - the 17 day diet. LOL
You have a most engaging narrative voice - it was fun to visualize that stash of large candy bars growing and then your consuming them one by one until your little tummy rebelled. LOL Brooke
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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Everyday when the candy bar arrived - Every day - as one word everyday is an adjective, as in everyday clothes.
What a fun ending - the 17 day diet. LOL
You have a most engaging narrative voice - it was fun to visualize that stash of large candy bars growing and then your consuming them one by one until your little tummy rebelled. LOL Brooke
Comment Written 04-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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Thanks Brooke, I'm glad you stopped by to read and comment on this. You are so good at finding the spags. I'm glad you got a laugh from it. From the comments, I'm not sure everyone realized I meant it to be funny.
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It is really really funny - how could people think otherwise?? :-)
Comment from RKagan
This is a great story of an honest point of self discovery. Your use of description is very well done and the piece is well written. good work
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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This is a great story of an honest point of self discovery. Your use of description is very well done and the piece is well written. good work
Comment Written 04-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments.
Comment from KayteeF
What a lovely story about willpower. Difficult for a young person anytime.
I laugh with you about the 17 day maximum limit to your willpower.
The point is that after over-indulgence where you sicken yourself, surely another 17 day stint of denial would help you continue onwards.
A story well written and enjoyable to read.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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What a lovely story about willpower. Difficult for a young person anytime.
I laugh with you about the 17 day maximum limit to your willpower.
The point is that after over-indulgence where you sicken yourself, surely another 17 day stint of denial would help you continue onwards.
A story well written and enjoyable to read.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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Thanks so much for the review and comments. I didn't seem to be able to build on that 17 limit. It was too painful. LOL
Comment from beryld
I would have given this a five instead of a four if it was not for the start of papagraph three:
My mother keep busy teaching... (should it be kept?)
Oh darn it that is such a little thing... I'm going to click on the five.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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I would have given this a five instead of a four if it was not for the start of papagraph three:
My mother keep busy teaching... (should it be kept?)
Oh darn it that is such a little thing... I'm going to click on the five.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and for catching the spag. You were the only one who caught it. I am especially grateful to you for deciding to give me the five stars anyway.
Comment from JuneYvonne
I love this little story of a child stockpiling candy bars and then making herself sick eating them all at once. And I particularly like the way you apply it to the present day - I can certainly empathise with dieting lasting all of 17 days! This rang a bell with me - good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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I love this little story of a child stockpiling candy bars and then making herself sick eating them all at once. And I particularly like the way you apply it to the present day - I can certainly empathise with dieting lasting all of 17 days! This rang a bell with me - good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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Thank you June, I really appreciate the review and the nice comments and good wishes.
Comment from Minglement
What an enjoyable, funny entry for the 'I Remember' prompt. I loved the humorous tone and I liked the way you brought it full circle at the end. I had a similar experience working in a candy shop. We were told we could eat all the chocolates we wanted, which we proceeded to do. By the second or third day I was sure I never wanted to see chocolate again. Unfortunately, it didn't last. Well done and good luck in the the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2010
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What an enjoyable, funny entry for the 'I Remember' prompt. I loved the humorous tone and I liked the way you brought it full circle at the end. I had a similar experience working in a candy shop. We were told we could eat all the chocolates we wanted, which we proceeded to do. By the second or third day I was sure I never wanted to see chocolate again. Unfortunately, it didn't last. Well done and good luck in the the contest.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2010
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Thank you for the delightful review and for sharing your candy eating experience.
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You're so welcome. Take care -
Comment from kovarou
this story has a very good moto behind it and is very different to anythign ive read before, love the title at first i thought it was about a guy names will powers until i read it and found it to be even more interesting, the basic message of the story is clear and concise and i feel as though many people can relate to this both young old and inbetween, write another story like this cause its interesting and you do it very well, only noticed one mistake in your spelling first paragraph "It is good to learn these sorts of things early so you (HERE) should be won't) want be expecting too much later on" although i gathered you noticed that and will most likely change it, great story and way you conveyed it love it thanks
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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2010
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this story has a very good moto behind it and is very different to anythign ive read before, love the title at first i thought it was about a guy names will powers until i read it and found it to be even more interesting, the basic message of the story is clear and concise and i feel as though many people can relate to this both young old and inbetween, write another story like this cause its interesting and you do it very well, only noticed one mistake in your spelling first paragraph "It is good to learn these sorts of things early so you (HERE) should be won't) want be expecting too much later on" although i gathered you noticed that and will most likely change it, great story and way you conveyed it love it thanks
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2010
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Thanks for the review and the nice comments. I have made the change in won't but I appreciate you catching it.
Comment from june prescott
A very fun remembrance and thank you for sharing. Stashing away candy bars to test your willpower is quite an accomplishment for a five year old. I laughed when you ate them all at once! LOL I guess 17 is your breaking point! The only typo I found was "these sorts of things early so you want (won't) be expecting too much later on." A great read and lesson well learned and love your ending. Best of luck in the contest. Cheers, JP
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2010
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A very fun remembrance and thank you for sharing. Stashing away candy bars to test your willpower is quite an accomplishment for a five year old. I laughed when you ate them all at once! LOL I guess 17 is your breaking point! The only typo I found was "these sorts of things early so you want (won't) be expecting too much later on." A great read and lesson well learned and love your ending. Best of luck in the contest. Cheers, JP
Comment Written 03-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments. I appreciate your catching the spag.
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My pleasure! :)
Cheers, JP
Comment from M. Karol
a good one...you never know what things might impress a young mind. But whatever, your resolve does help you even now, though for a short time only.
enjoyed it.
Madhvi
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2010
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a good one...you never know what things might impress a young mind. But whatever, your resolve does help you even now, though for a short time only.
enjoyed it.
Madhvi
Comment Written 03-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from animatqua
Being a constant dieter, I can certainly relate to the seventeen day limit. This was a great story, and really goes to show just how much a five year old really does understand.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2010
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Being a constant dieter, I can certainly relate to the seventeen day limit. This was a great story, and really goes to show just how much a five year old really does understand.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and for the nice comments.