Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Follow The Winding Road"A book of a mixture of stories
57 total reviews
Comment from jl & bandit
Awe how sad to lose someone so special, and how great to re-find some one too !!! This is easy on the reader, made me want more... like all stories should.
Well done !
JL&B
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Awe how sad to lose someone so special, and how great to re-find some one too !!! This is easy on the reader, made me want more... like all stories should.
Well done !
JL&B
Comment Written 12-May-2010
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Jl & bandit,
As always, I truly appreciate the time you took to read my story and for your gracious comments. Thank you...Carol
Comment from IndianaIrish
Oh, Carol ... can you make this into a novella or a novel? I love this character and her daughter. I so want to read about their move and the baby, and the relationship with her parents. Please continue??
Karyn :>)
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Oh, Carol ... can you make this into a novella or a novel? I love this character and her daughter. I so want to read about their move and the baby, and the relationship with her parents. Please continue??
Karyn :>)
Comment Written 12-May-2010
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Karyn,
I have truly considered the thought and am wondering exactly where I would go with it. All suggests welcomed! Smiles, Carol
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
what a delightful story you've written. Excellent narrative, great imagery and very descriptive writing. So sad her husband died in an accident and she was pregnant. At least she had her cute daughter and unborn child to keep her going. You should make a story out of this contest entry. Your a very talented writer who wears her heart in her writing. Good luck in the voting booth. Beautiful art work you used to accompany your fabulous story. Your friend. . .Melissa!
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Barbara,
what a delightful story you've written. Excellent narrative, great imagery and very descriptive writing. So sad her husband died in an accident and she was pregnant. At least she had her cute daughter and unborn child to keep her going. You should make a story out of this contest entry. Your a very talented writer who wears her heart in her writing. Good luck in the voting booth. Beautiful art work you used to accompany your fabulous story. Your friend. . .Melissa!
Comment Written 12-May-2010
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Melissa,
Yes my friend, my heart bleeds into everything I write...thank you for noticing. Appreciate the kindness. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Rama Rao
An excellent story well written in your inimitable style. You have expressed the anguish of your loss of your love and your happiness to see your daughter trying to help you and the yet to be born reminding you to get on with life with equal passion. The story made fine reading from the beginning to the end, almost.
I wished you had a kind word for your father. Calling him an ogre I thought was unfair to him, to say the least.
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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An excellent story well written in your inimitable style. You have expressed the anguish of your loss of your love and your happiness to see your daughter trying to help you and the yet to be born reminding you to get on with life with equal passion. The story made fine reading from the beginning to the end, almost.
I wished you had a kind word for your father. Calling him an ogre I thought was unfair to him, to say the least.
Comment Written 12-May-2010
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Ramarao,
My father was and still is a hard man..short on love and long on discipline and hard work. I look for a blend of both or sometimes just once saying I love you. Thank you for the review. Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I would love for you do develop this story into a novel. I, for one, would love to read it. It's really a great beginning. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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I would love for you do develop this story into a novel. I, for one, would love to read it. It's really a great beginning. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 12-May-2010
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Barbara,
Many have suggested I continue the story...I've tossed the idea around but haven't fully decided where I should take it. Thankyou...Carol
Comment from c_lucas
This is a very fun filled story as the mother sees the world through the eyes of her five year old. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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This is a very fun filled story as the mother sees the world through the eyes of her five year old. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-May-2010
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Charlie,
As always, I truly appreciate the time you took to read my story and for your gracious comments. Thank you...Carol
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You're welcome, Carol. Charlie
Comment from Judith Ann
This is such a sweet and wonderful story. I have read too many deep and disturbing postings today and this one is a breath of fresh air. I loved it, and I love how you bring the characters to life. So much so that I would love to meet Katie's grandpa. Very nicely written. -Judy
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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This is such a sweet and wonderful story. I have read too many deep and disturbing postings today and this one is a breath of fresh air. I loved it, and I love how you bring the characters to life. So much so that I would love to meet Katie's grandpa. Very nicely written. -Judy
Comment Written 12-May-2010
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Judy,
I'm beginning to think that this will have to be a continuation..many have fallen in love with the characters already. Thanks...Carol
Comment from fictionwriter
Maybe the old man has mellowed with age. there's something about the grandkids that makes us want to be better than we were as just parents. Great little story. Well done.
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Maybe the old man has mellowed with age. there's something about the grandkids that makes us want to be better than we were as just parents. Great little story. Well done.
Comment Written 12-May-2010
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Joy,
I wish that were true...My father has never given in an inch and he is almost 90..Wishful thinking but it will probably never happen. Carol
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Carol ...
This is a most enjoyable short story and I have given you 5 stars, knowing that you will consider the few changes recommended ...
* You have - and waddled down the hallway. Recently, writers on this site have people sashaying and waddling and trotting and a few other things which are mainly descriptive of what animals and other creatures do. I suggest - and made her way down the hallway ... OR ...
and ambled down the hallway ....
* You have - Didn't have to ask me twice. I waddled to the other chair. I suggest - She didn't have to ask me twice and I made my way to the other chair. (no waddling please - that just makes me think of Ducks and Geese!!)
* You have - and my feet hurt so bad. I suggest - and my feet were hurting so badly.
* You have - I pushed my body up The other significant party I suggest - I pushed my body up while the other significant party .... OR .. and the other significant party ....
Thank you for sharing this with us and, as it is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Hullo Carol ...
This is a most enjoyable short story and I have given you 5 stars, knowing that you will consider the few changes recommended ...
* You have - and waddled down the hallway. Recently, writers on this site have people sashaying and waddling and trotting and a few other things which are mainly descriptive of what animals and other creatures do. I suggest - and made her way down the hallway ... OR ...
and ambled down the hallway ....
* You have - Didn't have to ask me twice. I waddled to the other chair. I suggest - She didn't have to ask me twice and I made my way to the other chair. (no waddling please - that just makes me think of Ducks and Geese!!)
* You have - and my feet hurt so bad. I suggest - and my feet were hurting so badly.
* You have - I pushed my body up The other significant party I suggest - I pushed my body up while the other significant party .... OR .. and the other significant party ....
Thank you for sharing this with us and, as it is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 12-May-2010
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Nanette,
As always, I truly appreciate the time you took to read my story and for your gracious comments. Thank you...Carol
Comment from Leigh Ann
Sounds like a good first chapter or prologue. I like the easy flow and read of the story. You developed it enough to make the reader want to know what happens next. Good job. Good luck in the contest. :)
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Sounds like a good first chapter or prologue. I like the easy flow and read of the story. You developed it enough to make the reader want to know what happens next. Good job. Good luck in the contest. :)
Comment Written 12-May-2010
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Leigh Ann,
s always, I truly appreciate the time you took to read my story and for your gracious comments. Thank you...Carol