Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

spread it's warm rays - no apostrophe - it's = contraction for it is
on it's way back up - drop the apostrophe
Well, that is a morning that started out about as bad as they get and ended up about as good as they get!!! You sure did put a twist into this kidnapping - I love the way you get into this woman writer's mind as she considers various scenarios :-) A fun entry for this contest, Carol. Brooke

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Brooke,

Thanks for ctching that obvious mistake and for enjoying the story as well. Yesterday was my anniversary and I guess I took a walk down memory lane...since that's about all we do at this stage of the game...Laugh,love and remember...

Smiles, CArol

reply by adewpearl on 28-Apr-2010

Happy Anniversary, Carol :-) Brooke

Comment from DrCarter2001

Excellent

Hi Carol, this is a great piece using the contest prompt. Since I thought the door was locked, I had a suspicion it might have been Mike, but the idea that he had called in sick for their anniversary didn't occur to me. The ending is clever and ties it all together.

I just found a little bit of spag:
"bringing a chill to my soul" - tighter as "chilled my soul"
"Viewed as a flaw, my husband, Mike" - this is a dangling participle (I think...maybe it's a misplaced modifier)--I thought that Mike was the flaw.
"since I wasn't really impressing anyone since I was the only one there" - too many "since" for one sentence...how about just starting a new sentence: "I wasn't really impressing anyone since I was the only one there."
"The author of too many thrillers, the worst possible scenarios flashed through my mind" - another one of those dangling somethings...better as "As I'd written so many thrillers, the worst possible scenarios..."

Hope these little tidbits help. Good luck!

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Dr.Carter,

Thank you for taking the time to offer your many suggestions and I truly appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed the story. Smiles, Carol

Comment from jadapenn

Excellent

You know, since I abandoned writing love stories you, dear sweet smiles for miles, are taking my spot. Grrrrrrrr! lol. I loved this, Smiles. You get all sexy and seductive here and Mike is such a romantic - worse than Jordan - tying you up and having his way. What a nice kidnapping.
Best wishes for the contest. luv jada

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Jada,

Yesterday was my anniversary and I guess my mind took a short jaunt down memory lane...since all we can do is remember any more...We laugh, love and remember. Thanks...Smiles to you, CArol

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

I love it. You sucked me right into the story. I could feel the tension when she was scared. I did not find any spag. Once again it was very good.

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 Comment Written 27-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Texasgal,

Thanks again for stopping by to read one of my stories and leave your generous comments. I appreciate it very much. CArol

Comment from Thilophian

Excellent

It is a simple yet solid literary master piece. It has been a very joyful experience to go through it. The plot and development of the story is worth and meaningful.
congratulations!

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Thilophian,

Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read my story. I am thrilled that you enjoyed it. Smiles, CArol