Contest Entry and Winners
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Never Again"Short Stories
44 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
If there is anything worse than a scum bag child molestor, it is one who gets away with it, unless, of course, it's a mother who fails to protect her child from the scum bag. You tell this story well. Excellent dramatic timing and dialogue. You certainly had me rooting for the girls and hating the villains. Brooke
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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If there is anything worse than a scum bag child molestor, it is one who gets away with it, unless, of course, it's a mother who fails to protect her child from the scum bag. You tell this story well. Excellent dramatic timing and dialogue. You certainly had me rooting for the girls and hating the villains. Brooke
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Brooke.
Thank you for the kind comments. I'm glad you connected with my girls..They needed are moral cheering. Thank you...Smiles to you
Comment from BethShelby
Another excellent story to be able to read again.
What a great story. I held my attention all the way to the end. The story was well developed and the characters seemed real. I love the ending. The only thing better would have been if Carrie had shot his manhood off. It really got me emotional charged. I hate the fact that all too often these kind of guys are the winners.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Another excellent story to be able to read again.
What a great story. I held my attention all the way to the end. The story was well developed and the characters seemed real. I love the ending. The only thing better would have been if Carrie had shot his manhood off. It really got me emotional charged. I hate the fact that all too often these kind of guys are the winners.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Beth,
I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. I always appreciate your kind comments. Smiles to you...
Comment from Angelite
An icy fingers strummed my spine.(An icy finger or Icy fingers)
Good read.
nice pace.
should have killed him!
best of luck in the contest
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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An icy fingers strummed my spine.(An icy finger or Icy fingers)
Good read.
nice pace.
should have killed him!
best of luck in the contest
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Angelite
Thank you for catching that error. Appreciate the help. My tired old eyes miss things in proofing. smiles to you
Comment from CKLA
This is a really good read. Your use of imagery is fantastic. There were no errors that I could see. I hope you do well in this contest.
Collette
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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This is a really good read. Your use of imagery is fantastic. There were no errors that I could see. I hope you do well in this contest.
Collette
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Collette,
Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I appreciate hearing from you as always. Smiles to you
Comment from patmedium
This write has really caught me. I have read and re-read several times from the car-less garage to the end. For some reason, you have managed to imbue this with so much truth, it hurts. Pat.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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This write has really caught me. I have read and re-read several times from the car-less garage to the end. For some reason, you have managed to imbue this with so much truth, it hurts. Pat.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Pat,
It was an emotional write for me as well...Thank you for reading and for the generous comments. I always appreciate hearing from you...Smiles to you
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Well, it all came across, loud and clear. Pat.
Comment from Sampatron
Great suspense, great "showing, not telling," good story all around. Needs a tiny bit of work on when to use the subjective and objective pronouns, i.e.,"Jack and her were out of town" should be "Jack and she were out of town," etc. Very well done and made me feel like I were right in the middle of the action.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Great suspense, great "showing, not telling," good story all around. Needs a tiny bit of work on when to use the subjective and objective pronouns, i.e.,"Jack and her were out of town" should be "Jack and she were out of town," etc. Very well done and made me feel like I were right in the middle of the action.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Sampatron,
An oversight on my part...I know the grammar rules, but it appears I got to involved in writing the story to follow them. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. Smiles,
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OH, yeah, I hear ya on getting involved. That makes it really difficult for me to edit/rewrite my stuff, too. *S*
Comment from hotstuff
Gosh, your story is really gripping and so frightening to think that though this is a fictional story the reality is that this type of thing is happening to young people regularly. I think your story is well written and relevant. I hope it does well in the competition. Good luck.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Gosh, your story is really gripping and so frightening to think that though this is a fictional story the reality is that this type of thing is happening to young people regularly. I think your story is well written and relevant. I hope it does well in the competition. Good luck.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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hotstuff,
Thank you ufor the wonderful and generous comments and stars. I really appreciate the thoughts. Smiles to you....
Comment from fictionwriter
She should have. What a great little story. It held me spellbound through the entire thing. Sick men are rampant these days. Great job.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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She should have. What a great little story. It held me spellbound through the entire thing. Sick men are rampant these days. Great job.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Joy,
Yeah, I thought she should have too! But I didn't want to make her a murderer...I just wanted him to pay! Smiles to you....
Comment from Mrs Jones
An excellent write. Filled with suspense. I found this to be a refreshing different take on the subject which we are reading so much about on this site. Wel edited.
Good writing
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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An excellent write. Filled with suspense. I found this to be a refreshing different take on the subject which we are reading so much about on this site. Wel edited.
Good writing
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Rose,
Thanks for the wonderful review. Glad you enjoyed my story and I thank you for the kind thoughts. Smiles to you....
Comment from Mariea
Very well written piece that kept me interested all the way. Good strong characters kept consistent throughout and no 'spags' apparent. Fast moving and very readable.
Have a great day. Regards Mia
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Very well written piece that kept me interested all the way. Good strong characters kept consistent throughout and no 'spags' apparent. Fast moving and very readable.
Have a great day. Regards Mia
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Mia,
Thank you so much for reading and enjoying my story. I truly appreciate the comments. Smiles to you...