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Flash Fiction

Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Gathering Strength"
Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.

47 total reviews 
Comment from rama devi
Good
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This is cute and charming, and well expressed through dialog. however, I am not sure it is 'funny' so much as sweet and precious. Just how it hits me, but I enjoyed the nice read. thanks for sharing.

i note two typos--

1)
"I'm babysitting this weekend.(,)" His sister offered.

2)
"Dear God,

Mommy can't pay the rent. Can the tooth fairy help?"

(Are you sure you want a line break here? its a prayer, not a letter, so i do not think you need this line break.)

Warmly rd

PS Love the title! Also, let me know if you make changes...

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 Comment Written 19-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
    RD

    Thank you so much for stopping by and showing me where I goofed. I believe I've fixed them and I appreciate your time and comments. Smiles to you...
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
Excellent
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Ah, isn't that sweet enough. However, I don't feel it's humorous, only precious. But that's just me. Good luck in the contest my friend, and thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
    El Gato,

    Thanks for your thoughts and comments. Smiles to you....
Comment from fictionwriter
Excellent
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this was cute, and bless his little heart, Tommy is trying his best to help out all he can. So sad when this is so many people's story. Great job.

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
    Joy,

    So close to home...thanks for the kind comments and review. Smiles to you
Comment from tonyafterdark
Excellent
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Great entry into the story..I absorbed a visual of the table and the activities that were developing ..I absorbed the feeling that the family was "tight nit" and had adjusted to to there situation ...The two fingers in Tommy's mouth answered the guestion of where the two teeth came from...The character [Tommy] was believable , as was his attempt to help the family...Your message was [ to me ] more along the sad side...though I can find a "bitter-sweet" sense of "Humor" here...Good Luck in the contest...Tony.

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
    Tony,

    Thanks for the kind review. I appreciate it very much. smiles to you...
Comment from gerry26
Excellent
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You are right about the humor, I never expected it in this story. It gave the story a good lift. I love the way you interjected the humor very smooth.

gerry

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
    gerry,

    Thank you so much for the kind thoughts. Smiles to you....
Comment from Charlene0513
Excellent
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A contest entry that evokes a little humour to know that even when times were tight a little boy was hoping his donation of his teeth would help the cause.
Charlene

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
    Charlene,

    Thanks for reading and enjoying. Always appreciate lyour comments. Smiles to you
Comment from chaswriter
Excellent
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blind author - At first glance, it appears to be a fun story with the absurdity of a child thinking about helping the family through a donation to the tooth fairy. Then it hit me that this is really a very sad story being realized by families in this bad economy. And the boy is a symbol of the desperate measures some take to feed their families. Then it became a sad story. I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Enjoyed it and good luck.
Charlie

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
    Charlie,

    I live in a city with one of the highest unemployment rates of which my honey and I are statistics...Guess I was reaching for a bit of silver lining somewhere. Smiles to you
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
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You have created a bittersweet little story. Yes, seeing the humor in a harsh situation can help one survive it. The picture you chose was perfect for your theme. Thanks for the encouragement in your notes as well.

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
    Joan

    Thanks for understanding that one must look for a bit of the silver lining when times are tough...Smiles to you...
Comment from Indweller
Excellent
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Yes everything and everybody can help! Even Tommy's tooth fairy. A short piece of pathos: one side of a Jamus face, the other being : HOPE !
A great message
Indweller

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
    Indweller,

    Thank you for seeing that I was reaching for a bit of silver lining...Smiles to you...
Comment from knowledge
Excellent
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This story brought a smile to my face. Even in the daily hardship of his life the little boy showed deep faith. He didn't expect something for nothing, he tried his best to pay his way.

Luck on the contest.

Knowledge


 Comment Written 19-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 19-Feb-2010
    Knowledge

    I am so pleased that you enjoyed this story. Yes, no hand is too small to help. Thanks for the kind review. Smiles to you....