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POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES

Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Dreams Lost"
When I dabble at things.....

83 total reviews 
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
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summer wedding bliss
winter sorrows chill the soul
hearts unmendable

If only life could be happy-ever-after,
but both you and I know it just isn't
like that. I hope all goes well with
your daughter... without downs there
wouldn't be any ups.

Thank you for sharing, Carol.
Margaret.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2009


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
    Margaret Thank you so much. She has struggled to make it work for a long time. Is about to finish college and raising two children. He forgot to grow up...My 2 yr old granddaughter told the babysitter that daddy makes loud noises and is killing my mommy. Though my daughter moved out of the house, she still tries to hide his faults. Thanks for the kind review. CArol
reply by Margaret Snowdon on 10-Sep-2009
    My goodness.. that sound worrying...
    What are these young men about!!
    My eldest son has problems, but
    it's his wife who does the constant
    moaning, and if ever she has anything
    nice to say about anyone, I'd pass out!!

    The woman has everything and he is
    such a caring husband and father, can't
    do enough for her.... what does she want!!

    M
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
Excellent
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Form and syllable count is correct. I like that this comes from a true experience. The feeling of validity comes across. Best wishes in the contest. Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2009


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
    Jeanie

    A painful and true situation. It was strange that the contest and words appeared shortly after I talked with my daughter. Guess it was meant to be written. Thanks so much. Carol
Comment from RapturedHeart
Excellent
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Ah, this is a very sad, haiku, Begin Again. I like the contrast between summer and winter, and the 'forever' rift they've created. I don't like that it's all too often true. Great presentation with that picture, too. All the best in the contest,
Heather

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2009


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
    Heather Thanks so much for the positive review. I appreciate it very much. Carol
Comment from Heidixoxo
Excellent
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What a great poem. Short, sweet and to the point...nicely done. I really like your choice of art work as it matches perfectly to this. xoxo

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2009


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
    Heidi Thanks for the positive review. I gretly appreciate your thoughts. Crol
Comment from tati
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

summer wedding bliss
winter sorrows chill the soul
hearts unmendable

Dear Carol,

This short and simple poem is clearly insightful and written from your heart. It's hard to believe in just 17 syllables you've successfully crafted an emotional message: summer in contrast with winter and bliss with sorrows. And the photo is impressively significant, Carol. Wish you the very best in the contest, tati.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2009


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
    Tati Hello my friend. It was strange that shortly after talking with my daughter this contest appeared. The words just popped into my head and I had to write them. Thank you for your kind and gracious words and for the stars. You are greatly appreciated, my friend. Carol
reply by tati on 10-Sep-2009
    You deserved those stars, Carol. Sincerely. Send my greetings to your daughter. Much prayers and love for you and your loved ones. Your friend, tati.
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
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The June bride often become the October divorcee. This is very well written with very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2009


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
    Charlie

    Thanks so much for your kind review. I wish it wasn't the case because she is so unhappy, but actually it's probably for the best. Thanks for the review. Carol
reply by c_lucas on 10-Sep-2009
    You're welcome, Carol. I wish you the best of luck. Charlie
Comment from second thought
Excellent
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Disappointment in anothers action crystalized in three lines and art. The cold winter breeze on a hot summer day.
Guess the best thing to say I'm glad not to be in her father shoes. Well done.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2009


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
    Second thought

    Thanks for the kind review. Your thoughts are appreciated. Carol
Comment from lerkun
Good
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Hello Begin Again, That is sad for your daughter no relationship breakdown is 'good' but a marriage.. your piece makes me wonder whether the marriage made a year or not and what the dealbreaker was.. I know but I am studying psychology ;-D.. I think senryu's are more about human nature... haiku's allude but remain with nature.

b well

lerk

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 Comment Written 10-Sep-2009


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
    Lerk

    They have been together since they were fifteen. My daughter just turned 30. They have two children. She went back to college and will graduate as a vet tech next spring. He thinks its all a waste of time and sits home doing nothing except building anger. It turned physical the other day. Enough said....They have only been married for two years but she has supported him most of the time since school. He promised marriage would change him...it did...for the worse! Thanks for the review. Carol
Comment from samuelbrody
Excellent
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Carol ... You are such an inspiring woman. Your poems, even the short and simple ones, are so clearly profound and written from your heart. The photo is so hauntingly relevant. It's amazing what is says in itself. What a tough call it must have been to receive from your daughter. Only a mom would be able to give the first words or prayers of hope that a heart can mend. Well done.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2009


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
    Sam

    Her heart is shattered and she strives to raise two children, finish college and hold a job. He thought she should be home with him...though he never works. Strange ideas I think. She thought marriage would bind them but she grew and he didn't. It happens! I'm just sorry it had to happen to her. Thanks for the kind comments. CArol
Comment from gustafsonne
Excellent
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I really like this haiku it is one of the best I have ever read. It paints a clear picture of a situation. Also, you leave a little out so that the reader can use their imagination. I am very sorry that your daughter had to experience that pain. Thank you for posting this. nicole g.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2009


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009
    Nicole Thanks for the kind review and for your wishes for my daughter. Life delivers some hard blows. We just need to find the strength to weather through them. Thanks again. Carol