Comment from blondiedots

Excellent

Beautiful example of a tetractys poem. It even looks beautiful the way it is styled and with the very appropriate Bleeding Heart picture. Great use of syllables to tell a story in such few lines. Each verse could stand alone.
Bravo and Blessings!

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2009

blondiedots...

Thanks for boosting my ego. I was hopeful that I could express my feelings correctly in this poem. Thank you so much for your kind remarks. Carol

Comment from fastdigits

Excellent

Your writing is beautifully
sculptured in a double, double
tetractys format that cascades
down the page like silent flowing
waters of a serene lake as it makes
love with the shores that it touches
along the way.
Orchestrated in warm, tender words
that are poignant with love coming
forth from line to line as it meanders
down the page.
Well done and good luck

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 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2009

fastdigits...

Thank you for such a beautiful comment...I love water so your description was awesome. Thank you so much. Carol

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

I like the progression - love pledged in the first double tetractys - we'll always be side by side - and then that love gone in the second double tetractys - side by side no more - back to being one. There is a great symmetry that works with the progression - this is so sad. Brooke

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 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2009

Brooke,

Thank you for reading my attempt at tetractys. I wasn't sure I got it right or not. I appreciate your comments. Carol