CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Train"A collection of poetry
39 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
I really like the flow of this and the repeated C sounds of crossing, clickety clack, crossing and caboose. Whistle while whirred and waited are also cool. This is an interesting form with its mathematical foundation. And your description of the train is quite evocative. Brooke
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I really like the flow of this and the repeated C sounds of crossing, clickety clack, crossing and caboose. Whistle while whirred and waited are also cool. This is an interesting form with its mathematical foundation. And your description of the train is quite evocative. Brooke
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from dportwood
I like your realistic description of an experience at a railroad crossing which is accompanied by well-chosen artwork. Good job and good luck.
Duane
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I like your realistic description of an experience at a railroad crossing which is accompanied by well-chosen artwork. Good job and good luck.
Duane
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from sherrygreywolf
Great little poem, Sue. I was totally unfamiliar with this form, but am fascinated. May have to give it a try.
Didn't see anything that needed correction. Great picture - fits not only the words of your poem, but by continuing on "infinitely", it is totally fitting for the idea of the poem's form.
great work - sherry
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Great little poem, Sue. I was totally unfamiliar with this form, but am fascinated. May have to give it a try.
Didn't see anything that needed correction. Great picture - fits not only the words of your poem, but by continuing on "infinitely", it is totally fitting for the idea of the poem's form.
great work - sherry
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from amada
Great FIB poem. I read your words and they took me as magic to the sound, smells, and touch of those old trains. Lovely work.
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Great FIB poem. I read your words and they took me as magic to the sound, smells, and touch of those old trains. Lovely work.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from Rottie
I don't know quite what to say abouth this type of poem. This matched the picture but pretty much just described sitting waiting for a train to pass. It was good but not one of my favorites of yours.
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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
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I don't know quite what to say abouth this type of poem. This matched the picture but pretty much just described sitting waiting for a train to pass. It was good but not one of my favorites of yours.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
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I'm sorry you missed the point of the poem. And the metaphor. Thanks for your review, Sue
Comment from Joan E.
Shucks, you already wrote about a train so well in this finonacci (I was going to try it during the trip to Lexington). I thought its theme would be good in this form and, in your hands at least, I was right. I enjoyed your abundant use of alliteration of "w's" and "c's," which also enhanced the resonance.
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Shucks, you already wrote about a train so well in this finonacci (I was going to try it during the trip to Lexington). I thought its theme would be good in this form and, in your hands at least, I was right. I enjoyed your abundant use of alliteration of "w's" and "c's," which also enhanced the resonance.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from Roisin
Hi Sue
Well done for creating such an interesting contest and your entry is wonderful. A great choice of topic and I love your alliteration. The 'w' sounds when read quickly seem to sound like the train whirring past. Great job. Good luck.
Hugs
Roisin x
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Hi Sue
Well done for creating such an interesting contest and your entry is wonderful. A great choice of topic and I love your alliteration. The 'w' sounds when read quickly seem to sound like the train whirring past. Great job. Good luck.
Hugs
Roisin x
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from WRITER1
This is a strange form of poetry. You did an excellent job on this piece. For as short as it is it tells a definite story. I liked it.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
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This is a strange form of poetry. You did an excellent job on this piece. For as short as it is it tells a definite story. I liked it.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
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Strange, indeed. It has the kind of constrictions that haiku has without all the troublesome nuances required. So, a wee bit of free verse with the syllable count. How'd you like that definition? ha! Thanks so much for your great review. Glad you liked the story. Sue :-)
Comment from words
How did I miss this one! I am a fan, after-all. Absolutely delicious. I can both hear and see the train.
Loved the last line:
Comforted our silence. The caboose signaled its end.
You inspire me to get up the nerve and enter a contest!
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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
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How did I miss this one! I am a fan, after-all. Absolutely delicious. I can both hear and see the train.
Loved the last line:
Comforted our silence. The caboose signaled its end.
You inspire me to get up the nerve and enter a contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
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Go enter this one. I sponsored it for only $2.00. The slots are going fast, as I just opened it and I believe 5 are already gone. Would LOVE to see yours!! I love this format. Thanks SO for your great review! Sue :-))
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Can't find it. Help!
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Go up to the top right hand side where it says, "2 New Writing Prompts".
Click on that and scroll down to where it says, "Write a "FIB". Then join.