Grasping the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Scheduled Stress"The Followup to Chasing the Elusive Dream
35 total reviews
Comment from rhymer1
I could swear I recently read a vignette that commenced exactly as this one did, but then they differed. Your prose are spot on and the vignette entertaining, if scary. Slainte, rhymer1
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2009
I could swear I recently read a vignette that commenced exactly as this one did, but then they differed. Your prose are spot on and the vignette entertaining, if scary. Slainte, rhymer1
Comment Written 08-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2009
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Thank rhymer1, Maybe your read something else I wrote and style was the same. I appreciate you comments.
Beth
Comment from yachtworknz
Beth-Nice work. I know the feeling of vacation scrooge. Like we need a vacation from the vacation type feeling.
The four stars is for the length to plot progression. I think if you did a word count then cut the work by 40% you would tighten up the writing and get more reviews.
Just a thought. Feel free to PM me if you make any corrections and I'll re-review.
Cheers
Scott
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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2009
Beth-Nice work. I know the feeling of vacation scrooge. Like we need a vacation from the vacation type feeling.
The four stars is for the length to plot progression. I think if you did a word count then cut the work by 40% you would tighten up the writing and get more reviews.
Just a thought. Feel free to PM me if you make any corrections and I'll re-review.
Cheers
Scott
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Comment Written 08-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2009
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Thanks for the review.
Beth
Comment from eliz100
This was a great story and you told it well. It brings back memories for me and family vacations. Migraines were not part of the problem but motion sickness was at least you did not have to deal with throw up. I do not see any room for improvement.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2009
This was a great story and you told it well. It brings back memories for me and family vacations. Migraines were not part of the problem but motion sickness was at least you did not have to deal with throw up. I do not see any room for improvement.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2009
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Eliz, Thank you for reading and commenting. All the comments I've gotten so far are from people who have been there.
Beth
Comment from Amfunny
Interesting essay on your vacation. Some vacations can be like that. I bet we all have a horror story or two to tell. This was nice to read. I think you need to change a word in this sentence: Nevertheless by the second day, in was in the best interest of all concerned
I think you meant IT was in the best interest...not in was in the best interest.
Nicely done.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2009
Interesting essay on your vacation. Some vacations can be like that. I bet we all have a horror story or two to tell. This was nice to read. I think you need to change a word in this sentence: Nevertheless by the second day, in was in the best interest of all concerned
I think you meant IT was in the best interest...not in was in the best interest.
Nicely done.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2009
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Thank you for pointing that misspelling out. It is so easy to pass over those little words. I'm glad you caught it. Thank you for your review and rating.
Comment from WRITER1
I have had these vacations, husband with migraine, the whole nine yards.... You did a good job on this piece. I see no need for revision.
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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2009
I have had these vacations, husband with migraine, the whole nine yards.... You did a good job on this piece. I see no need for revision.
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Comment Written 08-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2009
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Thank you writer. I appreciate you comments.
Beth