CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 88 "Pit Stop"A collection of poetry
38 total reviews
Comment from Roisin
This is great. I love your rhymes - you've done a great job with them. Your short snappy words create a sense of speed which is perfect for such a poem. I really like this form and have tried it a few times but I can't seem to master it. I understand that the rhyme has to occur within no more than three words but I don't understand the 4-3-3-2 format. What does that mean? It's probably obvious but I can't seem to figure it out. Anyway, you've done a great job with this. I love it.
Warm regards.
Roisin
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This is great. I love your rhymes - you've done a great job with them. Your short snappy words create a sense of speed which is perfect for such a poem. I really like this form and have tried it a few times but I can't seem to master it. I understand that the rhyme has to occur within no more than three words but I don't understand the 4-3-3-2 format. What does that mean? It's probably obvious but I can't seem to figure it out. Anyway, you've done a great job with this. I love it.
Warm regards.
Roisin
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
Comment from honeytree
I loved the art work and the words were certainly speedy. I am sorry your car was damaged but I am also glad that you are alright and not hurt.
Honeytree.
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I loved the art work and the words were certainly speedy. I am sorry your car was damaged but I am also glad that you are alright and not hurt.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
Comment from rmdelta
sue,
Another very strongly written poem, my friend. Excellent in your descriptives of a race and the reading is smooth. A great contest entry, but probably the voters won't be race enthusiests and won't vote for it. lol Can't say whether it fits a beau veracamp poem or not.
Good luck, Sue.
Reggie
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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sue,
Another very strongly written poem, my friend. Excellent in your descriptives of a race and the reading is smooth. A great contest entry, but probably the voters won't be race enthusiests and won't vote for it. lol Can't say whether it fits a beau veracamp poem or not.
Good luck, Sue.
Reggie
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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These verse beau-diddlies sure are fun! They move so fast, that I like to pick "fast" topics. And how can you beat a race car on that? HA! No matter about the vote. Always good to win, but those contests are what have stretched me since I've been here and helped me immensely!! Forced me to try out hookoos, senderoos, ching-kings, and of course, the beloved Sonnet! Thank you for your review, Reggie. :-)) Sue
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Sue,
Fantastic! You really nailed this one. I could hear the scream of tyres and smell the burning oil. I'd hate to drag you at the lights. All that and technically perfect. Congrats.
Reg
ps I have tried to contact you re an upgrade on your "John Wayne" score, but no luck. Can you reply.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Dear Sue,
Fantastic! You really nailed this one. I could hear the scream of tyres and smell the burning oil. I'd hate to drag you at the lights. All that and technically perfect. Congrats.
Reg
ps I have tried to contact you re an upgrade on your "John Wayne" score, but no luck. Can you reply.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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rhymelord, LOVED that your senses were there at the race!! I really enjoyed writing this fast-paced poem. Thank you very much for this great review and your compliments! :-)) Sue (p.s. - I just wrote to you about the John Wayne score)
Comment from Domino
Hi, Sue
Very difficult form that I really like.
You've done a great job of one continuous fast-movin race - which suits fast-movin rhyme scheme, Brilliant topic
Scheme perfectly executed and clever end where the scheme overlaps two sensenses.
Gotta do well! Best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Hi, Sue
Very difficult form that I really like.
You've done a great job of one continuous fast-movin race - which suits fast-movin rhyme scheme, Brilliant topic
Scheme perfectly executed and clever end where the scheme overlaps two sensenses.
Gotta do well! Best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Yeah, I wanted to write a "fast" subject for this format. And I was happy that the pace fit! Thanks so much for your excellent review and comments! :-)) Sue
Comment from Minglement
This is too funny! You kept the pace up in the poem, paralleling what was happening on the track. Killer ending, and too often true. Great job. Good luck.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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This is too funny! You kept the pace up in the poem, paralleling what was happening on the track. Killer ending, and too often true. Great job. Good luck.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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When I write Vers Beaucoup, I always think of a subject that has a fast pace, as the form certainly lends to it. I do like auto racing, so here it is! Hope nobody minds my last work in the work! HA!! Thanks for reviewing....with regards, Sue
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You're right, your poem and style lend itself well to the form. I didn't mind the last word. Wouldn't be the same without it. Fun read. Good luck.
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You're right! How else could it possible end?! HA!!
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That's it. Done deal. Don;t sweat the small stuff!
Comment from Brian S. Pratt
In my car, up to par, I'll go far.
I'm the star! First on pole; on a roll.
Flag's my goal. Engine's start, feel my heart
Off the chart. Got green light - hold on tight
--stockcar reduced to it's essentials. well done. Where's Mater?? :)
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In my car, up to par, I'll go far.
I'm the star! First on pole; on a roll.
Flag's my goal. Engine's start, feel my heart
Off the chart. Got green light - hold on tight
--stockcar reduced to it's essentials. well done. Where's Mater?? :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
Comment from Jazh
lol This is excellent, Sue. You've caught the rhythm and excitement of a race with those great rhymes and exclamatory sentences. Well done...Good luck with the contest. :)
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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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lol This is excellent, Sue. You've caught the rhythm and excitement of a race with those great rhymes and exclamatory sentences. Well done...Good luck with the contest. :)
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Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Always went to Bathurst and all the touring car races down in Oz. Loved 'em. Used to go to the Formula 1 races in Adelaide and Melbourne, too. Great fun! Thanks for your review and sweeeeet compliments! :-)) Sue