CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 106 "Hey Kids, You're the Best!"A collection of poetry
41 total reviews
Comment from rmdelta
Sue,
another wonderful poem, my friend. Terrific descriptives allow us to see your scene, your characters. Great contest entry and you should do very well, Sue. Good luck
Reggie
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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Sue,
another wonderful poem, my friend. Terrific descriptives allow us to see your scene, your characters. Great contest entry and you should do very well, Sue. Good luck
Reggie
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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Hi Reggie! Thank you very much for reading this work and the great review. So glad you liked it! Sue
Comment from Domino
This is brilliant, Sue.
I wasn't clear on the rules, but your notes have me sorted.
Perfect meter throughout and great rhymes, too. Lovely attributes chosen by you and it's all smooth as silk, and I empathise so much with all of it, including the special last line. Good luck and best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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This is brilliant, Sue.
I wasn't clear on the rules, but your notes have me sorted.
Perfect meter throughout and great rhymes, too. Lovely attributes chosen by you and it's all smooth as silk, and I empathise so much with all of it, including the special last line. Good luck and best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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This review is not good enough, Ray. You only gave me 6 compliments!! LOL! Seriously? Thrilled that you, the "meter man", have found this a pleasure to read! To have your blessings on a fourteener makes me grin from ear to ear! Big Hugs!! Sue
Comment from amada
Good for you. This is a very good Fourteener Challenge. Great that you are using your children as an inspiration. I bet they provide good material. Lovely bunch you have.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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Good for you. This is a very good Fourteener Challenge. Great that you are using your children as an inspiration. I bet they provide good material. Lovely bunch you have.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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amada, thank you so much for your great review and lovely comments! With regards, Sue
Comment from gjensen
Thanks for the author's notes. Being a newbie, I had no idea what a "Fourteener" is. I'm learning as I go along. You'd think given so many criteria to meet that the poem would sound contrived, but it actually sounds good and, of course, tells the story of the pride you feel in your children quite well. Good work. Maybe the following line was the only one that sounded a bit strained.
They only want for justice to all those with heavy load
I want to change it to: They only want justice for all those with heavy loads
But, after reading your notes, I understand that you'd be missing a pesky syllable. Anyway, excellent work and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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Thanks for the author's notes. Being a newbie, I had no idea what a "Fourteener" is. I'm learning as I go along. You'd think given so many criteria to meet that the poem would sound contrived, but it actually sounds good and, of course, tells the story of the pride you feel in your children quite well. Good work. Maybe the following line was the only one that sounded a bit strained.
They only want for justice to all those with heavy load
I want to change it to: They only want justice for all those with heavy loads
But, after reading your notes, I understand that you'd be missing a pesky syllable. Anyway, excellent work and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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I know all about being a 'newbie'. Just started in November. But really wanted to tackle the fourteener! With the change you'd like to make, not only would there be a syllable missing, but the iambic meter would be all messed up! HA! So, it is tricky! You'll learn so much here. Best to you! And thank you for your very kind review. Sue
Comment from smiles
Beautiful poem.
You had a lot of hoops to jump through for this one.
The words you chose to insert into each line blended so naturally.
Great work.
Smiles
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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Beautiful poem.
You had a lot of hoops to jump through for this one.
The words you chose to insert into each line blended so naturally.
Great work.
Smiles
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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smiles, since I began writing, a "fourteener" was on my list. When I saw the contest, I thought it was the perfect time to tackle it. It is tricky! Thank you very much for your review and compliments. Sue
Comment from fayesh
I like the simplicity of this tribute to your children. I would have liked for you to list all 14 of the virtues in your Author's Notes because I counted 13, including "curiosity", which is questionable.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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I like the simplicity of this tribute to your children. I would have liked for you to list all 14 of the virtues in your Author's Notes because I counted 13, including "curiosity", which is questionable.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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That's a good idea to list the virtues. The sponsor of the contest made a list of over 35 words we could use. Thank you very much for your review (and your idea). With regards, Sue
Comment from raimie
Wow, the pride in your children shines through. I was always intimidated with the thought of having alot of children. I have one daughter, and unfortunatley me and my husband lost a daughter early on in my pregnancy. The picture you paint here is beautiful.I have two brothers and always wanted a larger family, but I guess it wasn't in the works. Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece about your family.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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Wow, the pride in your children shines through. I was always intimidated with the thought of having alot of children. I have one daughter, and unfortunatley me and my husband lost a daughter early on in my pregnancy. The picture you paint here is beautiful.I have two brothers and always wanted a larger family, but I guess it wasn't in the works. Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece about your family.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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raimie, I am, indeed, proud of all my kids. It's tough when you raise them, unsure if you're doing the right things, saying the right things....and they grow up and give back so much! Thank you so much for such a lovely review and your compliments. With warm regards, Sue
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I used to be worried until I saw that Nanny 911. I think I did a great job with Abby, Lol. She is going to be 20 this month. Never had to have help like that, Lol!
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Oh my God! Parents these days are LOST! They are scared to death of disciplining their kids, in fear that the children "won't love them" or some weird thing. I've seen it time and time again. The kids have NO boundaries. And it's one thing that all my adult children thank me for.
My daughter, in college, babysits for a family of 3 kids. She says they are out of control because the mother ALWAYS gives in. Sarah (my daughter) is in disbelief of it all. Thank goodness she sees it. It will make her a good parent! She's 23.
Isn't it great to have our daughters?!
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Yes, i can't imagine life without a girl! We have some cousins eho's children are beyond Bad and my daughter recognizes it as well. lol!
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"beyond bad".....ha! - That's a good one. Too bad for them, though. And I know you're happy your daughter sees it! We are blessed!
Comment from Curt Mongold
Good Lord, and you call my style difficult? This is a monster! And you did a superb job with it too! I am impressed cuz! I think you may have a winner here! Really great word usage and the flow is spot on.
Best wishes,
Curt
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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Good Lord, and you call my style difficult? This is a monster! And you did a superb job with it too! I am impressed cuz! I think you may have a winner here! Really great word usage and the flow is spot on.
Best wishes,
Curt
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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CUZ!!! Awesome review! I am very proud of this work because I really didn't think I'd be able to do it! Ha! Whew - is a tough one. Thanks again...really appreciate your compliments. :-)) Sue
Comment from j1bogue
I like the flow of your words. They don't seemed forced to me at all. I especially love the truth of your seventh and eighth line. I like the word gaffe. I wouldn't have ever thought of that. Great job and good luck with your writing.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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I like the flow of your words. They don't seemed forced to me at all. I especially love the truth of your seventh and eighth line. I like the word gaffe. I wouldn't have ever thought of that. Great job and good luck with your writing.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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j1bogue, thank you for your very kind review and compliments. And for saying which lines and words you like! With regards... Sue
Comment from Rachon
I don't know about all the rules, but I do know a good poem when I read it. I liked yours a lot. There's nothing more rewarding than being a Mother. Great job,
Rachon
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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I don't know about all the rules, but I do know a good poem when I read it. I liked yours a lot. There's nothing more rewarding than being a Mother. Great job,
Rachon
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
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Rachon, what a lovely, lovely review! Thank you so much for your most kind compliments. With regards, Sue