CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 136 "An Opening"A collection of poetry
42 total reviews
Comment from tator tot
I enjoyed your words. It's easy to put up boundaries and make rules before you meet. It's another story when your heart skips a beat as you look at each other.
I love the line,"You're my exception to the rule." Thank you.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
  |
I enjoyed your words. It's easy to put up boundaries and make rules before you meet. It's another story when your heart skips a beat as you look at each other.
I love the line,"You're my exception to the rule." Thank you.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
-
tator tot, (love that name!) - thanks so much for your very kind review. Thanks very much for your specific comments. Wow, didn't you get it right about the heart-skipping beat! HA! I'm also glad you highlighted the line you liked. Always good to know what the reader hears/sees. Much appreciated, Sue
Comment from Firefly54
Fine - why should it be a trolet? It sounds very pleasing to the ear as it is! The image you found is just perfect for it, too. Well done!
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
|
Fine - why should it be a trolet? It sounds very pleasing to the ear as it is! The image you found is just perfect for it, too. Well done!
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
-
Yeah, why should it be a triolet?! HA! Thank you for your very kind review. So glad you enjoyed it. With regards, Sue
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
this poem doesnt really make any sense to me, im not really sure what you are trying to write about, needs some improvement so that people understand what the poem is about.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
 |
this poem doesnt really make any sense to me, im not really sure what you are trying to write about, needs some improvement so that people understand what the poem is about.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
Comment from Curt Mongold
Sue,
I know you are trying to hold the tetrameter in this piece, but since you broke one rule, what the hell?
This line-
To build defenses, my surrounds
does seem to me to be forced to conform to the form. I don't know how you could adjust that, maybe "surroundings?"
drop the "my" of course.
Anyway, just my thoughts. Nice job on the rest!
Sincerely,
Curt
P.S.
I love it! It's just what this piece needed. I knew you would find a way!
Smiles,
Curt
|
Sue,
I know you are trying to hold the tetrameter in this piece, but since you broke one rule, what the hell?
This line-
To build defenses, my surrounds
does seem to me to be forced to conform to the form. I don't know how you could adjust that, maybe "surroundings?"
drop the "my" of course.
Anyway, just my thoughts. Nice job on the rest!
Sincerely,
Curt
P.S.
I love it! It's just what this piece needed. I knew you would find a way!
Smiles,
Curt
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
Comment from Hitcher
You branch shaker rule breaker you!
'An Opening' with the clever choice of artwork
and your great word choices works very well.
Now caving, craving, my heart pounds
easily my favorite line friend.
Well done bender of the rules,
I like your style.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
|
You branch shaker rule breaker you!
'An Opening' with the clever choice of artwork
and your great word choices works very well.
Now caving, craving, my heart pounds
easily my favorite line friend.
Well done bender of the rules,
I like your style.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
-
I wonder why I KNEW you would like that line.........seriously! HA!! Think "branch shaker, rule breaker" could be made into a poem - lol!! Thanks for your great review and ever-present encouragement! Sue
Comment from rmdelta
Sue,
A very nice poem, Sue. Of course it isn't a triolet, but then, I have no idea what a triolet is to begin with so what does it matter? Can't really say I completely understand what you are talking about, maybe you're talking about breaking your own rules and trusting yourself in the hands of another? I don't know because I never understand these types of poetry anyway. My fault, Sue. Not yours.
I still think it's great.
Reggie
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
|
Sue,
A very nice poem, Sue. Of course it isn't a triolet, but then, I have no idea what a triolet is to begin with so what does it matter? Can't really say I completely understand what you are talking about, maybe you're talking about breaking your own rules and trusting yourself in the hands of another? I don't know because I never understand these types of poetry anyway. My fault, Sue. Not yours.
I still think it's great.
Reggie
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
-
I've read a few on this site, but decided to have a thorough look at the form. Love the sound and feel of a triolet. I don't know my left from right on all these poetry types, but am learning! ha! - You read it as I intended it for me! Thank you for your very kind review. With regards, Sue
Comment from Kingsland
I liked this poem because it fits into my philosophy that there is no rule but an exception to the rule. You have written this poem in good form and format. This was my pleasure to have read and reviewed it... John
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
|
I liked this poem because it fits into my philosophy that there is no rule but an exception to the rule. You have written this poem in good form and format. This was my pleasure to have read and reviewed it... John
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
-
John, thanks for this very kind review. I 'do' like your philosophy, also! I appreciate your specific comments on this work and am glad you enjoyed it. With regards, Sue
Comment from adewpearl
that's what happens to me and most form poems - I'm more interested in the way things sound to me than changing something to adhere to the form requirements, so here's to your triolet-it-is-not poem! I love the caving, craving pairing and the line- you're the exception to my rule - we can always tell who that right person is if we let him past our defenses built for everyone else!
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
|
that's what happens to me and most form poems - I'm more interested in the way things sound to me than changing something to adhere to the form requirements, so here's to your triolet-it-is-not poem! I love the caving, craving pairing and the line- you're the exception to my rule - we can always tell who that right person is if we let him past our defenses built for everyone else!
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
-
Brooke, thanks so much for saying which lines you liked. Always love to hear what others hear/see. HA! - here's to my "not-so-triolet"! Salut! Sue
Comment from love_coca-cola
Good! It's short but sweet. I like the second and last line. "You're my exception to the rule" that was a brilliant line.
TNBT
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
|
Good! It's short but sweet. I like the second and last line. "You're my exception to the rule" that was a brilliant line.
TNBT
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
-
TNBT, so glad you like that line! As, I wrote the poem around it. Thanks for your most kind review and comments! Sue
Comment from Dixi
This is a very stirring piece, I especially loved this part - "Now caving, craving, my heart pounds /
You're my exception to the rule"
Look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
|
This is a very stirring piece, I especially loved this part - "Now caving, craving, my heart pounds /
You're my exception to the rule"
Look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
-
Dixi, thanks so much for reading! And for your most kind review. Thanks for highlighting the lines you liked. Always love to see what the reader "hears"!! Much appreciated, Sue